Apologies if this is in the wrong bit but it's my first post!!
Me and my ex split up about 5yrs ago, we lived together and had a son who's now 9. a year after we split, i moved down south to be nearer to my parents.
Since then he has done all the travelling, seeing him once or twice a month for the weekend and occasionally during the holidays. He's paid maintenance, usually around 10% of what he earns. And we kept things kinda amicable.
But problems started a few years ago, he went self employed and his earnings were irregular. Sometimes my payments were late by a few days as he was a contractor and didn't always get paid regularly and i'd have to chase him for it.
So i'd decided i'd had enough, so i contacted the CMS and got them to deal with it. Turns out he had a new job from Feb 2018 and was earning around £20k a year, but my payments never went up at all. So they have calculated that i am owed around £1300 in back payments dating to Feb last year. Since Feb this year he has started paying me the correct amount, but refusing to pay me any back payments.
He bases his arguments on a few things. First one being that while he was self employed between 2016 - 18, he was on low income, around £800pcm, but was still paying me £120 which is about £30 per month overpayment over 2 years.
His second argument is that he has got himself into massive debts, with credit cards, around £14k. And for the last 12 months he's been trying to pay them off, roughly £600 per month, which is why he hasn't been about to up my payments until now. Since Jan this year he has gone onto a debt management plan through stepchange, so his credit card payments have been reduced so now he is paying the correct amount per month.
His third argument is that it costs him a lot in petrol each month to see him. I moved exactly 100 miles away, and he says a 400mile round trip to see him for the weekend costs him about £70-80 in fuel, and that i should take that into consideration.
Anyway my reason for posting is, am i being unreasonable because he has shown me statements etc, i know his finances are a mess, but CMS are insisting he pays the arrears and could take it out his earnings, which he says will have massive implications on him. But it's his own fault he's in debt. And if he asked them to backdate it to when he was self employed and overpaying, will they take that into consideration?
He also says he is going to speak to a family mediation centre to get more access as currently i only allow him one weekend a month because he has school clubs, and birthday parties etc and i don't want him to miss out on seeing his friends. He wants to see him every other weekend, and alternate Christmas as currently he's with me Christmas and birthdays and he also wants shared travel arrangements meaning i'd have to take him up to see him, i'm on low income, i can't afford to do that, will he be able to do that?
Sorry it's long winded but any advice would be great! 