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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it U to wear this as a wedding guest?

341 replies

GetSetNo · 02/05/2019 21:27

I've asked a couple of people now, it's about an inch of the floor at the back if I'm wearing flats which I intend to later on or with heels, 4/5 inches.

Everyone I've asked (6 people) says it's fine and I should definitely wear it but if I were the bride, I feel as though I'd think whoever wore it was trying to steal the limelight (although, you can never truly upstage a bride).

Is everyone else BU here?

Is it U to wear this as a wedding guest?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
goldenchicken · 03/05/2019 00:14

Agree with a pp that the post with the second pic/lot of pics, (posted at 22.32) makes the dress look awful, and really does the girl wearing it NO favours at all. Very unflattering.

Erythronium · 03/05/2019 00:23

You're not sure so find a nicer dress, there's plenty out there.

I looked at it online and it does look like a bridesmaid's dress from behind.

LilBoaty · 03/05/2019 00:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PatricksRum · 03/05/2019 00:42

I love the dress!
It's not a train as such and I think you'll be fine Smile
Some people have to project their insecurities onto others! Reported all the unnecessarily vile comments!

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 03/05/2019 00:42

I can't think why you would think you could upstage the bride wearing that. It's not my style but it's perfectly suitable for most weddings. You'll look lovely.

LaMarschallin · 03/05/2019 00:46

Oh God, I'm such a newbie I thought you meant U in the Nancy Mitford sense.
I'm sure you know your friend the bride to he better than any of us, and don't want to upstage her, so if you think its ok, wear it.
You're not being U in either sense, imo.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/05/2019 00:46

I dont think you should wear it if you are worried about it, purely because you will feel very self conscious and wont be able to relax.

And while it doesnt look bridesmaidy from the front, I would be worried that from the back it would look like a ballgown style BMs dress.

Chocmallows · 03/05/2019 00:49

It looks a bit ball gowny/frumpy. Better with fewer folds maybe.

EmeraldShamrock · 03/05/2019 01:01

So very mean responses. OP you will not feel comfortable wearing it after this thread. It is suitable for a wedding, though it looks very heavy, especially for a summer wedding.
LifeImplosionImminent pg5 linked a beautiful version of the dress without the trail. I'd go for that one, if you wear cream strappy wedge sandles you could wear them all night.

HomeEdRocks18 · 03/05/2019 01:10

I think it's a beautiful dress and is great for a wedding.

SpeckofStardust · 03/05/2019 01:10

It would actually be a lovely dress without that horrible hemline, I like the bodice and the cut of the skirt until you get to that up and down thing. It’s a trend I’ve never ‘got’ in the same way I’ve never ‘got’ cold shoulder tops.

FraggleRocking · 03/05/2019 01:24

I think OP is getting a fair bit of criticism because a bride is usually considered to stand out and look stunning on her wedding day and by wondering about stealing limelight in anything other than a white dress you automatically imply you will also look stunning and outshine the bride for other reasons. From my point of view it’s coming across as arrogance. Especially if 6 people in RL tell you it’s fine and to wear it.
That, however, doesn’t excuse nasty comments.
As for the dress - in my view it’s only OK.

user1471582494 · 03/05/2019 01:28

I love it! Please wear it Smile

Cruelstepmother · 03/05/2019 01:31

I think it does look like you wanted to be a bridesmaid and were disappointed not to be asked. I definitely wouldn't wear it to a wedding for that reason. The other dress someone suggested looks like a great compromise.

1forAll74 · 03/05/2019 01:32

I think this dress would be ok for a wedding,,but I don't like the style at all.I think the high neckline is awful.and two much pattern on the material. But my comments are meaningless, ha ha,,

dontgobaconmyheart · 03/05/2019 01:57

Since you didnt actually ask opinions on whether the dress was to other peoples taste OP I wont join the ranks of the snide and chastise you for daring to think you could ever upstage Shock a bride, especially in something as ugly as that Wink

Nothing wrong with trying to be considerate in what you're wearing at all so I don't get why some posters are giving you a hard time but I think it so depends on the wedding and its level of formality. I went to a wedding last year where that absolutely would have looked a bit attention seeky. I had on a primark wrap dress and felt overdressed because I was the only person in heels and I made loads of effort with my hair etc. They had gone for a country picnic vibe in their back garden (gorgeous rustic garden) and there were people in flip flops, denim skirts etc - I felt a right knob, and nearly did my ankle in on the lawn to boot.

I think if you're not sure or would worry about it then just pick something else, it's the time of year where there are a ton of options available so no great shakes so long as budget allows.

BlackCatSleeping · 03/05/2019 02:03

I like the dress, but I don't like the hemline at all.

I don't think you need to worry about upstaging the bride though.

Is anyone else thinking about the wedding dress in the November Rain video?

Is it U to wear this as a wedding guest?
CheshireChat · 03/05/2019 02:07

I think it's fine for a wedding, just agree you'd need a bit of heel (platforms if they're comfier).

I'm always jealous of people who can wear stiffer fabrics as I look like I've had a fight with a curtain if I try. I mean, I've presumably won the aforementioned fight as I'm wearing the curtain, but it's not a great consolation.

dreichuplands · 03/05/2019 02:53

I the dress is a little more race day rather than wedding but you aren't going to clash with the bridal party.
I would wear heels with it.

wombat1a · 03/05/2019 03:41

Looks horrendous, I don't think you'll be happy in that when the photo's come out.

floribunda18 · 03/05/2019 03:58

I think it's nice, but personally I prefer the ones that are the same length all the way round, like this one. Such a pronounced bias cut is just a bit cheesy.

Is it U to wear this as a wedding guest?
expat101 · 03/05/2019 04:24

If it's on special and the wedding is during the day, and you really like it, why not buy it and have the hem adjusted so it's the same all the way around? I like the print, just not the back.

IncrediblySadToo · 03/05/2019 04:43

You could wear it to a wedding.

If someone was wearing that, upstaging the bride would NOT be what I was thinking. However, I’m sure you could find something nicer, it wouldn’t be too difficult.

Expressedways · 03/05/2019 04:49

There’s definitely nothing unreasonable about the dress. Personally I don’t think it’s very nice but it wouldn’t be out of place at an American or Irish wedding that are generally more formal affairs. For a standard English wedding, at least based on the ones I’ve been to recently, it would be rather over the top though. Not to the point of upstaging the bride or anything that dramatic but you might look a bit silly if every other woman is in a day dress and you’ve gone for the black tie look. Personally I’d keep looking, I think you can do better.

Trebla · 03/05/2019 04:56

I think its certainly not going to upstage the bride. If you like it wear it.

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