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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about my favourite DVD?

32 replies

Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 20:32

So I’m in a bit of a long term flirting situation with a guy. We have very similar taste in films and about 6 weeks ago I lent him a copy of my favourite DVD. He knows this is my all time favourite film (I’m not saying what it is because it would be too outing if he read the thread!). The thing is, he hasn’t watched it yet. Now I know that these past 5 weeks have been insanely busy for him at work and he told me that he’s been collapsing on the sofa at night and just hasn’t had a chance to watch it.

AIBU to think that him not watching my favourite DVD means he’s not all that in to me?

For context, if the roles were reversed I’d want to watch it asap as I feel it would bring me closer to him. Are guys just different? Or is he just too busy? Or just not that into me?

OP posts:
HBStowe · 02/05/2019 20:38

You’re being a bit mad. He might just not be that into the film, it’s not particularly a reflection on you.

BabyDarlingDollfaceHoney · 02/05/2019 20:40

Yeah you're being crazy. Watching a film you like will not bring him closer to you.

GrandTheftWalrus · 02/05/2019 20:41

My DP told me his favourite film and I still dont think I've watched it. Not because I'm not that into him but because I've been busy.

You are over thinking it.

Original poster
Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 20:42

Do you not think, HBStowe? I’m glad in that case. I just thought that I would be desperate to watch his favourite film if it were me. In fact I did watch his favourite film months ago when he first told me which one he liked. Thanks for the reassurance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 20:43

You’re all making me feel better. Thanks. Maybe I am a bit mad but when I watched his favourite film I felt like I understood him better.

OP posts:
ew1990 · 02/05/2019 20:44

I borrowed a guy at work a dvd. Got it back when I moved in with him!

Redshoeblueshoe · 02/05/2019 20:44

I don't know what my DHs favorite film is, and if it's something crap I wouldn't watch it.
Actually I think you should tell us what it is then we can say if YABU

gamerchick · 02/05/2019 20:44

Did you offer or did he ask?

Seriously, it's not something to gauge things on.

Don't Kent stuff that is precious to you, no matter how you feel in the shorts area.

gamerchick · 02/05/2019 20:44

*lend

ShinyMe · 02/05/2019 20:47

If you just thrust it on him unasked, then he's unlikely to be motivated to watch it, imo.

Original poster
Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 20:48

Oh I’m not remotely bothered about getting it back. I actually bought it so that I could lend it to him. I would have given it to him but wanted to play it 😎. Ha!

OP posts:
Jamhandprints · 02/05/2019 20:49

I'd feel like you OP. If he had you on his mind he'd want to watch it. It IS a way to get to know you better. Some couples don't like the same stuff, others do. It depends how important that is for you. But definitely ask for it back. Also a bad sign that he pretended to be interested instead of saying "Not my kind of thing, soz".

Original poster
Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 20:50

He didn’t ask to borrow it but I knew that he he had looked it up after I had recommended it and it wasn’t available on his TV package thing.

He had lent me a DVD a couple of months earlier so it wasn’t unreasonable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 20:51

Lucky you ew1990!!

OP posts:
tanpestryfirescreen · 02/05/2019 20:52

DVD? Is it 2009?

We don't have any any way to play a dvd in our house- does he?

Original poster
Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 20:52

Thanks Jamhandprints. You get it! But it’s comforting to know that the other posters feel differently because it means that maybe he feels differently too.

I don’t think he pretended to be interested. I think he genuinely wants to watch it but hasn’t got around to it yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 20:53

Ha! Yes he has a DVD player.

OP posts:
SweatyUnderboob · 02/05/2019 20:59

I do see where you are coming from OP, but in these initial stages you must must must keep it breezy and light or he will sense your unhinged-ness and you will scare him off.

MirriVan · 02/05/2019 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 21:04

Ha! I have kept it breezy. We chat every few days and it wasn’t until about 4-5 weeks after that I asked very casually if he’d had a chance to watch it yet. I won’t ask him again.

OP posts:
snowdrop6 · 02/05/2019 21:18

Ugh ..god op you sound a tad ......needy

Original poster
Trixie82 · 02/05/2019 21:20

Really? I don’t want to come across to him as needy.

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 02/05/2019 21:23

It's a bit odd to be hung up on this.

I don't feel like I know people better after watching their favourite film. And I didn't see DPs favourite film all the way through for quite a while... I kept falling asleep. It was about the sixth time, I think Blush but I love him, and understand him a lot!

Don't stress this. It means nothing to most people.

Famalamaringwrong · 02/05/2019 21:38

Are you 12? Chill out!

icanhearapindrop · 02/05/2019 21:38

Ugh, after 15 years of marriage, I still wouldn’t watch a film my DH recommended to me, purely because I don’t like watching films. I can’t sit down for that long, and it’s a bit of a ‘thing’ for us, in a good way. Not the same as your situation I know, but don’t write him off for not watching it. We are very happy, despite our differences 😂

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