Aibu to not want to fill a smarties tube with £1 coins

[Invisimamma]

This will be outing if any parents from my child's school are on here...

Both children came home from school and nursery today with a tube of smarties each as a gift from the PTA with instructions to eat them and fill the tube with £1 coins or 20p, letter specifically states not coppers or 5/10ps. Apparently the tube will hold £12 of 20pences.

There will be a prize for the class who brings back the most money.

Now I have a few issues with this:

1. my friends child has a diary allergy was really upset he can't eat his treat (she didn't know this was happening so couldn't provide an alternative)
2. we still have lots of Easter chocolate and don't need more
3. dp and I both work but childcare and other costs are crippling us at the moment and we're skint, an extra £24 is really beyond us just now
4. we've just paid £46 snack money to nursery and £12 for a school trip for one and £8 for a trip for another (amongst lots of other recent school costs)
5. does anyone even has coins lying around the house anymore? I use contactless payment for almost everything and don't draw out cash.

The children have been hyped up about it and both have said they need to raise money for the school. I guess I'm feeling guilty that we're not in a position to participate/it's a pain in the arse idea.

No.

Just no. It’s grabby.

If it were for charity, to help children in poverty or something relevant to children of that age, then yes. But for the PTA? Absolutely not.

PTAs are meant to be about the community of the school. Working together, supporting the school by raising funds and everyone benefitting. It’s give and take, not throwing money into a pit.

I wonder if there is a lack of volunteers or enthusiasm which is why they are looking at a quick fix?

Don’t worry about your children feeling left out - there’s plenty of other ways to contribute. To the PTA or some other charity that’s less grabby.

aren't they meant to take the tube around friends and neighbours and ask them to donate to the cause? I don't think there's any requirement that you personally have to fill it.

That actually makes it worse, though. It's annoying enough when people hassle you to give to THEIR favourite charity, out of the thousands of charities in existence, even if that charity does largely undeniably good work locally/in society/the world (although, even then, people have genuine misgivings - as per the threads about Comic Relief and unscrupulous fund raising methods).

Whoever would assume that people without children at a particular school (or without children at all) would actually care about contributing to a random school? Those without children have already paid a lot in taxes for educating other people's children and those with kids at a different school will surely direct any extra PTA giving to their own kids' school.

Many churches and religious organisations are run as charities, and often rely on giving by their members and visitors - but nobody would ever suggest that outsiders should or would consider giving money to a cause that means nothing whatsoever to them.

Oh my god, moan moan moan. Fine, don't contribute, chuck it in the bin, complain to the school, whatever.

Look, if it’s a state school you really do have a moral obligation to contribute as much as you can even if that means going withoutholidays, new clothes etc.

Whatever are you talking about?! People (not just parents) pay taxes to fund state schools. Yes, budget cuts have forced many schools to make drastic reductions in often important areas, but I fail to see how successive governments' decisions to divert taxpayers' money elsewhere - frequently to profligate, pointless and/or morally dubious/reprehensible causes - translates into my moral obligation to give more money to running the state school system.

I’d fill it with 5p’s, regardless of what it said on the letter, and when I sent it in, I’d send it with a note saying to be glad you’re getting anything as this is all I could afford! Bloody cheeky school!

Oh my god, moan moan moan. Fine, don't contribute, chuck it in the bin, complain to the school, whatever.

I'd agree with you if this were targeted directly at (presumably non-vulnerable) adults. School staff and representatives are universally considered as wise, trusted adults by the vast majority of children (up to a certain age, at least) and they would never think to question their abilities or motives.

It's the children who are being given the Smarties and told that they must fill up the tubes with quite a sum of money, with it being made into a game and a competition with prizes to win. This is just pure exploitation and emotional blackmail of youngsters.

I’d support my PTA arranging for the children to take their empty tubes to the offices off all those skiving bastards who are supposed to be at stormont and asking them to fill the tubes with £1 coins. Those fuckers are the reason the schools have no money here.

Could you ask a grandparent to do it with them? Have they got £12 spare and wouldn’t mind changing it into 20p coins and doing it as a bit of fun with the dc?

Have they got £12 spare and wouldn’t mind changing it into 20p coins and doing it as a bit of fun with the dc?

😂😂😂 what??

YY to PP polished pennies!
Not as important how many as how shiny!

I just tried to make a suggestion to help the OP. She can disregard it if it isn’t helpful.
There’s no need to ridicule it. We are supposed to be helping each other on this site.

Sorry I haven’t RTFT but wanted to comment as this sort of thing really gets me cross.

I used to chair a PTA and cannot tell you how many requests we had from the school to run competitive fund raising events between classes for the teachers. One new head wanted to do this EVERY TERM!!!! ‘to teach the children about charity for those less fortunate’

My DCs school was in an ok area but it certainly wasn’t that well heeled.

I would write to the Chair of Governors copying in the headteacher and PTA chair setting out how this adds unnecessary pressure on families and sends out the message that it’s only money that counts to be kind, caring or successful.

There are lots of imaginative ways children can learn about being charitable without it coming down to cash all the time.

This drives me crazy. Our kids school once did something similar - I had 3 at school, and one of the teachers told DD she was selfish for not taking part.

Another year we were instructed to bring in items for a hamper that would be raffled at the Summer Ball. (tickets: £160 a couple). So poor families to contribute to raffle prizes only available to those who can afford £160 tickets.

Another ripping wheeze was for "homework" - to make a cracker filled with toys and sweets for the school christmas fair. Homework. so not voluntary at all. And they did this every year.

The PTA mummies have no frikking idea how some struggle.

Now kids are in senior school, there is a voluntary donation scheme in £5 increments that no-one pushes, its just "available to buy" on the school payment system. So if I'm feeling flush, I put a £5 or £10 in. If not, there's no pressure.

Oh and I grew up in country where we paid school fees. I wouldn't mind this. But I hate the emotional blackmail of children, making them feel bad for the financial situation of their parents.

Complain. This is badly thought out and unnecessary.

I am on the PTA of my local school and every action we take is measured against the hypothetical family of three on a low income. Time and cash are always in short supply and we know that most parents only remember on the morning of the event and may grab something on the way out of the door. For the bottle tombola at the Christmas Fair (for example), we get anything from whiskey to washing up liquid! We don't place any restrictions on the bottle types for that reason.

You never expect a 100% attendance or contribution and we do not shame the kids or prevent them from taking part (e.g. a dress-down day).

If you want to add some humour, buy chocolate coins to take in.

Could you ask a grandparent to do it with them? Have they got £12 spare and wouldn’t mind changing it into 20p coins and doing it as a bit of fun with the dc?

For some reason, that instantly brought to mind the old Catherine Tate character who was involved in a foreign romance scam and blissfully unaware that she was being completely taken for a ride.

"We have a relationship based on love. I send him money whenever he asks for it.... and he loves that!"

I just tried to make a suggestion to help the OP. She can disregard it if it isn’t helpful.
There’s no need to ridicule it. We are supposed to be helping each other on this site.

Not meaning to be unkind, but it just seems very grabby and unkind to transfer the pressure to give straight on to grandparents and consider it all sorted. It doesn't sound like the most fun or quality time that a GP and GC can share - GP has to go out to the bank and then sit and watch as GC takes 2 minutes to drop coins into a sweet tube.

go out to the bank? Come on, you're being ridiculous.

Gran, I'm raising money for school, I want to try to fill my Smarties tube!

OK, let me see what I've got in my purse - here's 50p.

Job done. No pressure. Back to whatever they were doing.

Forgot about the school photos. And it is the same photographer every year! One year they were so slow getting them back to us we had to collect them in the school holidays! And they had been paid for months before! At least they don't have this in secondary schools.

Jeepers ye should be glad ye're not in Ireland! Primary school was forever having cake sales, quiz nights etc. Secondary school worse again! €300 voluntary contibution or €500 if you have two daughters in the school! Then sponsored walks, cakes sales, Christmas fair. Never ends! Then books and uniform in first year nearly €1,000. And no these are not private schools! Oh and then essential costs like locker rental, photocopying etc. €130 per year.

My secondary schools 'voluntary' contribution in Ireland was 500 pound per child in 1997. I was from a poor single parent no job household. They HOUNDED my mother near weekly for the 'voluntary' contribution. And that was only the start of it.

If it were for charity, to help children in poverty or something relevant to children of that age, then yes. But for the PTA?

I disagree with this. If I have to donate money, I'd rather it went to help the school and therefore my own children.

@formerbabe that's the opposite of charity though isn't it - wanting your money to benefit you.

On top of all this... we have fancy dress day, Jeans for genes, red nose, etc. etc. That mounts up.

To be fair the PTA have paid for all outdoor improvements, all the computers, the books, colouring in stuff. Every penny is spent, decided by the Head teacher. The list of the schools needs are endless. I sometimes wonder if the allocation for each child is swallowed up by salaries, etc. with too little left over. Now in Wales it has been cut again, the teaching assistants are for the chop.

that's the opposite of charity though isn't it - wanting your money to benefit you.

Schools are not-for-profit organisations. Perfectly acceptable to raise money for a school as 'charity'. It is not only benefitting you.

@formerbabe that's the opposite of charity though isn't it - wanting your money to benefit you

I never said I was a fan of charity or wanted to give to charity. I don't. I'm skint. If I must donate to something via my dcs school, my preference is that the money benefits the school directly and subsequently my DC.

I’d get the DCs to write a note inside saying “We don’t have enough money for this “ because it’s the truth.