Aibu to not want to fill a smarties tube with £1 coins

[Invisimamma]

This will be outing if any parents from my child's school are on here...

Both children came home from school and nursery today with a tube of smarties each as a gift from the PTA with instructions to eat them and fill the tube with £1 coins or 20p, letter specifically states not coppers or 5/10ps. Apparently the tube will hold £12 of 20pences.

There will be a prize for the class who brings back the most money.

Now I have a few issues with this:

1. my friends child has a diary allergy was really upset he can't eat his treat (she didn't know this was happening so couldn't provide an alternative)
2. we still have lots of Easter chocolate and don't need more
3. dp and I both work but childcare and other costs are crippling us at the moment and we're skint, an extra £24 is really beyond us just now
4. we've just paid £46 snack money to nursery and £12 for a school trip for one and £8 for a trip for another (amongst lots of other recent school costs)
5. does anyone even has coins lying around the house anymore? I use contactless payment for almost everything and don't draw out cash.

The children have been hyped up about it and both have said they need to raise money for the school. I guess I'm feeling guilty that we're not in a position to participate/it's a pain in the arse idea.

Oh for God’s sake, quiz, seriously 😒 If I hear that “shaming” bollocks one more time...

Mess with their minds (the organisers, not the kids) and send the tube back filled with jelly tots and carefully glue the lid back shut.

Oh for God’s sake, quiz, seriously 😒 If I hear that “shaming” bollocks one more time...

I take it you've never been in the position of having a child who's had to go to school wearing hand-me-downs, with a bag showing 'last year's' now-uncool TV character or had to miss out on school trips, then....?

Those things would possibly feel shaming for the child, certainly. I’m talking about using shaming in the sense of “She said my skirt was too short - I’ve been slut shamed!” “She said I looked bigger than a size 8 - I’ve been fat shamed!”
Not everything that happens to you is the universe trying to shame you; all op has to do is either chuck some coins into the tube or put it away and let her kids forget about it (they will).
They will not be shamed by the school for failing to return it.

Fill it with the green Waitrose tokens and a note to say they can choose which of the 3 charities it goes to

Because the required 50 trips to Waitrose is cheaper than £12 to fill the tube?

"I take it you've never been in the position of having a child who's had to go to school wearing hand-me-downs, with a bag showing 'last year's' now-uncool TV character or had to miss out on school trips, then....?" Just what I was thinking.

Greyhound - shaming CHILDREN is exactly what IS happening. For being poorer, for being sick or disabled or having sick or disabled parents (and therefore higher absence levels, difficulty attending or participating in certain events)

I've just on my FB feed today had a friend of mine furious because the school had a non-uniform day and her child was bullied for what they were wearing - and rather than address the bullying a teaching assistant also criticised/ridiculed what the child was wearing!

The atmosphere in this country at the moment - where adults feel safe even in a professional position to do such a thing - totally disgusts me!

The poor, sick and disabled are fucking fair game at the moment - and it's not them that should feel ashamed but that IS what is happening DAILY all over the country.

As an ex PTA member I always vetoed this idea. Hate that yes ask parents to buy a raffle ticket, attend events or donate prizes etc but outright asking for money for nothing 🙄 I know we aren't in the position of having extra money every nonth and a lot of families are the same or worse off. My area is very split down the middle so the PTA were sensible at times with requests. Just crazy. It's also shocking they are telling you what to put in it, sorry if you get 40 pennies you should be happy 🤦‍♀️

I think this is CF. I was Secretary of the Pta when my children were at school and any donations were welcome. The filling of a tube of smarties with coin is a good idea but to link it to a special class prize and get all the children excited about it is ridiculous especially as in reality as pp has said it will be a biscuit and a cup of juice. Also to ask that it be £1 coins or 20s they should be delighted with whatever parents can give. I would ignore it. What do they do with the proceeds if they have 7K in the funds they certainly don't seem to need anymore.

I would be pissed off too because that's way too much money. If they'd just sent them home with the tube and said give what you can then fine, but they've specified to fill it and no copper or 10ps? Very cheeky. Sod them.

Either fill it with whatever change you have (even dirty poor people copper coins lol) or just recycle the tube and send the kids in with 50p each on the day or something.

Schools and money!

My DD’s grammar school gave the head girlship to the child of parents who donated fifty grand to the school.

Sheer coincidence.

LOL.

I agree with you @graphista about the nasty atmosphere in this country at the moment

donated £50,000.Good grief,did they get a blue plaque?a big obseqious thank you

Look, if it’s a state school you really do have a moral obligation to contribute as much as you can even if it means going without holidays, new clothes ........

Lots of people having a sense of humour failure over this one.

Op name changed in case this was outing,Sad thing is it seems it’s v prevalent request

That is terrible! As a teacher, I certainly wouldn't want my class taking part. Presumably, they will count the money to see who has won. That isn't fair on the families who cannot afford it. I'm so shocked this actually happens.

My school pta had a specific amount (£10) for teacher end of year gift and card if you didn’t put in that amount they didn’t let you sign the card

My kids made a card and a bought caramac with pocket money

If you would really send such a letter then you should not be ASHAMED to put your bloody name to it, rwalker
Honestly...

I have no problem doing this but the PTA can be very cliquey and not discrete. So my worry would it be getting back there kids and my kids been teased for it .
Yes this does happen 2 kids my youngest class were slagged off/teased for shit tom bowler prizes after there gobs shite mother on the PTA was mouthing it off in front of her kids .
I'm ashamed of fuck all the PTA should be ASHAMED of pressuring parents by manipulating children I think that is dispicable .
I have no problem not doing this but it the affect it has on the kids if you don't, that's what's wrong with things like this .
At our school summer fair the bitch form the PTA stood over one parent on our table said to her kids get your mum to get raffle tickets for you ( £1 each or strip for £5 times 2 kids )so kids were pestering her . She was on her arse skint only went to school fair because she can't afford to do anything with her kids and feels guilty .
Probably why this thread has riled me so much as saw how embarrassed and upset the woman was.
But due to this none of us on the table bought any .
Think we were just unlucky with PTA mainly a clique of 40 year old stahm who raced to meetings in there btw x5 and audi q7 and use £10 notes to lite there cookers and presumed even one else does.

I'm worried that if we ignore it that the DC will feel left out
They won't, because plenty of kids won't bring the tube back at all. Plus I very much doubt that there is a fixed day to return them on - quite probably the teachers and TAs are muttering darkly about yet another job being foisted on them as they collect them up over the course of a week or two.

@TheColonelAdoresPuffins and @rwalker

It's getting worse how the "have nots" are being treated in this country. The demonising of the poor, sick, disabled and otherwise disadvantaged is really pissing me off!

Especially when such disgusting attitudes are visited on CHILDREN

I'm worried that if we ignore it that the DC will feel left out
They won’t, this is one of those things adults get upset about but the kids don’t really notice.
I used to chair the PTA and I couldn’t have told you which families gave money or not for any of the events if my life depended on it. Done properly everyone gives as much as they want to and no-one is any the wiser about who gave what.
We never ever get more than 75% take up for any events do if you don’t do it i doubt you’ll be the only one.

Maybe just give them what you have. I'm sure they'd rather some money thst no money -just email them and explain you're not able to do that financially. Or Maybe just give them a fiver instead? My boy came home with a sponsorship form the pther day that said they'd get a chance of winning this and that if they raised more than £15...I work part time, am on UC and my partners out of work because of health issues. I'm desperately trying to keep my head above water so I just put £2 in and envelope and donated a pound online. My oh said I was cheap but I hate going begging to people for sponsorship money and a donation is a discretionary spend to me...

@rwalker - That does sound shit; I’m sorry.

Fill it with you money and note pointing out how cheeky the request was.

It seems like PTAs have this view that the parents are piggy banks and they can just keep requesting money as and when. Trying to disquise that as a task for the children is just even more cheeky.

Seen this a few times from friends children

Smarties can be 70/90p per tube

Schools should stop buying them so save £1 is pee child. That can go into pta

Some friends want £1. Some 20p. Some few coins

Def shouldn’t be a prize for most collected

I would ignore it. How wrong it is for the pta to worry you like this.