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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman has humiliated herself and her kids?

168 replies

QueenOfTheEighthKingdom · 01/05/2019 16:00

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6980167/Children-allowed-bread-butter-lunch-school.html

I don't blame the school at all. I imagine there were repeated requests for payment and she must have known the rule (that the school probably thought they wouldn't have to enforce) Why on earth go to the media publicising something that makes you look like a neglectful parent and embarrasses your kidsHmm.

OP posts:
AlaskanOilBaron · 01/05/2019 18:08

The problem I have really as an ex HLTA is some of our kids had feckless parents and it is humiliating for the children to sit there with bread and butter in front of other kids.

It's not nice, is it.

I feel very badly for the kids, but it's difficult to protect them from the reality of feckless parents. Wrong uniform, idle reading record, PJs at pickup - it all sucks for the poor kids.

LonelyTiredandLow · 01/05/2019 18:08

So if I dont pay a bill I am a victim of the bastards who I owe money to?!

Victim of austerity and a crisis in school funding, yes. Pretending this would be normal 15 years ago is ridiculous. When schools are funded correctly owing a mere £17 doesn't get into the newspapers.

Macandcheese05 · 01/05/2019 18:10

If you packed that for your kids lunch there would be words

My nephew wont eat sandwich fillings and went through about 2 years of eating bread and butter for his packed lunch. usually cut into soldiers and sandwiched together. my sister was mortified. school never called her in once!

Hollowvictory · 01/05/2019 18:11

She says it's neglect not to give them lunch. So presumably she means her failure to provide any lunch for them. School did ptov them with lunch.

TheFastandCurious · 01/05/2019 18:12

Did anyone else go and make themselves bread and butter and munched an apple after reading this?

Bookworm4 · 01/05/2019 18:14

These stories are ludicrous, how many parents make a hot lunch at home? They don't, my son went a year with bread & butter, fruit, crisps until he came out his fussy stage.

Myworstnightmare123 · 01/05/2019 18:15

I'd look at the cause for the lack of funding and get pissed at our shitshow of a govt

Hmm
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/05/2019 18:17

The parents misdemeanors or financial hardship is hardly the fault of the children, is it.
Before we all start jumping and acting smug.
We need to keep in mind that

This could be a family waiting on universal credit and in dire stairs.
Let's twist things around for a second
Imagine a child going into school saying. "Mummy only gave us bread and butter for our Tea.
They'd be quick enough to report it to SS.
Therefore why is it OK for schools to do it.
When it comes to morals and rules. You.can't have it both ways.

Myworstnightmare123 · 01/05/2019 18:20

When schools are funded correctly owing a mere £17 doesn't get into the newspapers

It does with entitled, feckless parents who think the world owes them
Perhaps consider that 'mere £17" is probably owed many times over. Adds up doesn't it.

Helix1244 · 01/05/2019 18:20

But it's not just the £17 it's the interest, effort of chasing parents, risk they may not pay. And scale of the problem so if even 10 other parents owed this it would be £170 and some kids probably leave school to move on with debt

Iwantacookie · 01/05/2019 18:20

My dc would probably prefer the sandwich.
She had ample time to pay in the 2 weeks over Easter. Parent pay still works then.
She was being a cf and got made an example off. If their school meals are £2.20 each that means she already owes for 8 meals. Why should she get 2 more?

Myworstnightmare123 · 01/05/2019 18:27

This could be a family waiting on universal credit and in dire stair

But she isnt is she.

JapaneseNotWeed · 01/05/2019 18:28

Wake up folks!!

This thread is an extension of the Daily Mail. You "clicky-linkers" all of you.

Mumsnet is no longer in a vacuum in its own ivory tower. You are part of the gutter press now.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/05/2019 18:29

I wouldn't call £17 a 'mere' amount.

Sofagirl · 01/05/2019 18:29

I be the mum still had enough for a pack of fags and booze...

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2019 18:30

All those who consider it 'not a meal'...

So would say, a slice of tissue-thin ham, or a few shavings of cheese miraculously transform it into lunch?

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2019 18:32

Mumsnet is no longer in a vacuum in its own ivory tower. You are part of the gutter press now.

The Daily Mail has always been the most widely read newspaper on Mumsnet, so I'm not sure what you mean?

Or at least it has in the 8 years I've been here.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 01/05/2019 18:37

I wonder if she had to pay for the meal deal before the kids ate that?

Of course she did! Why should the school have to provide meals to non payers and pay out of their already overstretched budgets?

We charge £2.30 per meal, our caterers charge us £2.30 per meal.... we can’t afford for parents to not pay for their child’s food.

IrmaFayLear · 01/05/2019 18:39

As others have pointed out, if one person is allowed to not pay (and the school would be aware if there was financial hardship rather than just not paying) then others will follow.

Word got around at the dcs' primary school that contributions to trips were "voluntary" and that if you didn't pay, the pupils could still go as the trip was "part of the curriculum". The school just cancelled planned trips - they were reinstated when it was pointed out to parents that no one was picking up the tab for their kids. Actually the ringleader was a school gate "friend" of mine and she also started a petition complaining about the £1 charge for the Christmas Show. Gulp.

Cherylshaw · 01/05/2019 18:39

I would hardly call it neglect on the mum's part! Drama queens! She didn't know she owed money.
The fact is bread and butter is not enough for a growing child to get them through the day, weather you do that at home I'm sure you give your kids snacks in between and don't just give them a butter sandwich to last them 6 or 7 hours

Aprillygirl · 01/05/2019 18:41

Makes me laugh that she says if she'd sent her kids to school with just bread and butter and an apple to eat SS would be contacted. Erm no they wouldn't,but they might now as she sent them in with absolutely nothing!

LonelyTiredandLow · 01/05/2019 18:42

Depressing that so many think £17 and victim blaming is equal in rage to the billions rinsed from society in austerity by the govt.

Completely agree this is an extension of Fail Press Society of blame the poorest and weakest over those in power. Bravo. What a way to make things change for the better Hmm.

Auntpetunia2015 · 01/05/2019 18:42

£17.80!!...blinking hell when I worked in a school office we had people who owed hundreds and refused to pay our governors head and lea would just faff around sending snotty letters coz the one school locally who did this got slated in the local press and the head got hate mail!!

Sofagirl · 01/05/2019 18:42

@cherylshaw

But the mums accused the school of neglect? When really it’s her

And I bet it’s not the first time either

People should learn to take responsibility for their kids

clairemcnam · 01/05/2019 18:52

When I went to school you had to pay in advance. If you didn't, you got no lunch.