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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman has humiliated herself and her kids?

168 replies

QueenOfTheEighthKingdom · 01/05/2019 16:00

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6980167/Children-allowed-bread-butter-lunch-school.html

I don't blame the school at all. I imagine there were repeated requests for payment and she must have known the rule (that the school probably thought they wouldn't have to enforce) Why on earth go to the media publicising something that makes you look like a neglectful parent and embarrasses your kidsHmm.

OP posts:
AuldJosey · 01/05/2019 17:16

I had presumed it was hundreds in debt. A few quid? Fuck that.

bordellosboheme · 01/05/2019 17:20

This is terrible poverty shaming. What an awful school.

Italiangreyhound · 01/05/2019 17:22

I think the school are at fault. It punishes the kids for the non-payment.

floraloctopus · 01/05/2019 17:23

she wasn’t aware there was a debt

I find that very hard to believe. It's not complicated to know if you have paid for the lunches or not. The school use a computerised payment system so she could pay any time and can receive emails to say when the balance is below a certain amount. I don't pay for the school meals but I always top it up for any extras so get the email alerts when any of the children have £1 left.

PinkCrayon · 01/05/2019 17:25

Our school has had to put a limit of only £10 of debt being able to get away with if its over that your child gets bread and fruit as they are in over £1000 being owed to them through non payers.
I dont think the school are doing anything wrong.
As a parent you should be providing your children with food whether thats paying or providing a packed lunch. Its her fault. Not the schools. I would be embaressed if I had failed to provide my child with a decent meal not going to the papers blaming the school for offering bread and fruit.

Cherylshaw · 01/05/2019 17:28

I don't consider bread and butter a meal, his school is also not in africa.
If you packed that for your kids lunch there would be words

butididnttickthebox · 01/05/2019 17:31

I've totally forgotten to pay for school lunches before, as I just didn't get into the habit once DC went into key stage 2. I was very embarrassed when I had the text from the school (I owed about £50 I think soapberry even half a term's worth 😳). But, as soon as they contacted me I paid up, and grovelled! They don't stop feeding the kids at our school, which I was actually really surprised about.
I have never made that mistake again.
I just don't believe this mum when she says she didn't recall getting any other messages from the school. And going to the DF is not good.

ENormaSnob · 01/05/2019 17:36

How about people take some fucking responsibility for themselves and their kids.

Myworstnightmare123 · 01/05/2019 17:37

I think the school are at fault. It punishes the kids for the non-payment
Yes.....lets blames others.

I had presumed it was hundreds in debt. A few quid? Fuck that
This is terrible poverty shaming. What an awful school
Hmm

Posters slating the school....... she is ONE person. Now consider the fact there may well be other parents not paying for lunches. Where do you suggest the school finds the cash to fill the gap caused by non payers? Where do you draw the line..... £10? £20? It is not the responsibility of the school to feed this woman's children or the children of any other non payers. Schools are pretty much fucked money wise as it is.

Myworstnightmare123 · 01/05/2019 17:40

I don't consider bread and butter a meal, his school is also not in africa. If you packed that for your kids lunch there would be words

It's not supposed to be meal... that is the point.
So what would YOU do if you are responsible for trying to balance the books in an under funded school with parents who do not take responsibility for paying for their children's lunches?

Yummymummycupcake · 01/05/2019 17:41

Bread and butter isn't enough for kids to survive off all day. Shame on the school.

cheshirecat777 · 01/05/2019 17:46

I agree it was a minor issue which would have blown over it is HER who has embarrassed her DC by going to the press

few points
most schools now use parentpay - easy to pay easy to check your balance
most schools frequently mention in newsletters etc what their policy is eg no meal if in x debt
schools generally text as soon as you are in debt
schools often send general text at beginning of term to remind parents to top up their account

appreciate the kids may have eaten a meal despite mum having given them a packed linch - my own DC did this with snacks for a while and i couldnt understand why we has arrears but he was 5 at the time - i explained to him not to put his hands up for snacks as we hadnt paid etc these children were 9 and 10 certainly of an age they would know that taking school lunch rather than using their own packed lunch would coat money. Also a bit odd for them both to have done this

like others have said more to this story

HerRoyalNotness · 01/05/2019 17:51

My thoughts exactly Enorma

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/05/2019 17:53

This is localish to me (I live in a village about 15 miles away) and it has become a real problem in some schools. Parents sending their kids in knowning that the school has to feed them, and then not paying up.

It was in the local paper today (so where it has been lifted from presumably) and I was embarrassed for her kids. Just pay the fucking bill, its not much and its not hard!

Does she expect someone else to pay for their lunches during the school holidays or at the weekends?! Feeding your kids is your responsibility and is not some optional extra you can palm off onto someone else.

Cherylshaw · 01/05/2019 17:53

@Myworstnightmare123
From the amount most schools throw out a day in left overs I'm sure they could have scrounged up something more appropriate for the kids to eat (not breaking the bank as the food is already there...) and added it onto the mum's bill.

LonelyTiredandLow · 01/05/2019 17:53

So what would YOU do if you are responsible for trying to balance the books in an under funded school with parents who do not take responsibility for paying for their children's lunches?

I'd look at the cause for the lack of funding and get pissed at our shitshow of a govt! Not victim blame.

Helix1244 · 01/05/2019 17:54

I think she should let the children take responsiblity if the ordered lunch when having a packed lunch. At their ages they would know it was wrong. And this would be a lesson that mum cant afford to pay twice.
She needs to keep her phone on even if sleeping. Or get those messages sent to DH (as well).

Bread and butter and apple would be fine and hardly embarrasing as it's most likely mum is disorganised rather than cant pay.
The other kids may be in ks1 and getting free meals.

I dont know how schools would stop kids ordering food when they have packed lunch though.

lovinglifexo · 01/05/2019 17:57

it’s not the school’s fault, SHE essentially fed her kids butter and bread because SHE didn’t pay for their lunch.

the school didn’t feed the children bad food but she did !

ShirleyAvenue · 01/05/2019 17:59

She should apologise to her children, and the thank the school for stepping in where she failed.

Hoppinggreen · 01/05/2019 18:01

I very much doubt the School took this decision lightly, she’s probably a repeat offender. In any case they were fed a perfectly adequate ( if not exciting) lunch which would hardly have SS interested.
I wouid be mortified if this were me and would be apologising to school rather than doing a Daily Mail sad face about it
What are schools supposed to do? Budgets are so tight Schools can’t afford to feed children just because a parent “forgot” to pay

Thatdilemma · 01/05/2019 18:02

The problem I have really as an ex HLTA is some of our kids had feckless parents and it is humiliating for the children to sit there with bread and butter in front of other kids.
After doing food diaries with young children and seeing how many of them weren't having a proper meal outside the school meal I would be worried that the child's only meal would be bread and butter for that day.

This is why teachers are feeding kids.

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/05/2019 18:02

I'd look at the cause for the lack of funding and get pissed at our shitshow of a govt! Not victim blame.

So if I dont pay a bill I am a victim of the bastards who I owe money to?!

Thats the best yet :o

Blastandbollocks · 01/05/2019 18:03

We have parents who don't pay, and on the occasions when it's got up to £50 we have to do something as this money comes directly out of the school budget.

The budget which also has to pay for teachers, the leaking roof repair, and everything else as well.

We are making staff redundant because there isn't enough money to pay for them and teachers are providing their own resources because we can't afford them so why should parents not have to pay for the food their child eats?

AlaskanOilBaron · 01/05/2019 18:03

I'd imagine the schools have a bit of a nightmare collecting money after the fact. This woman sounds a bit like hard work.

Sofagirl · 01/05/2019 18:06

Wow how can people neglect their kids like that?

And fancy blaming the school

The school is sadly functioning as the defacto parent

And it’s literally only a few pounds

Sad

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