To end it over this?

[UncommonName]

My boyfriend is 26 and still lives at home, around 85% of his income is disposable because of this. He gets paid around the 25th of every month.

I live on my own with my two DDs and money is very tight for us, little to no disposable income. Last month was DD10s birthday and due to unexpected circumstances I was a little short of money, I managed to get most of it together but was £15 short which my boyfriend offered to lend me which is now paid back so all good.

Today he's asked me to send him money for his lunch and lend him £40 next week. He told me he's lent most of his money out to friends and family with no regard for the rest of the month and he has two nights out planned at the weekend. I told him I can't afford to do that and if money is tight he should cancel a night out which he's refusing to do. Now he's in a strop and all I'm getting is "well I lent you money" which is all fine and well but I really can't afford to go without the £40 till the end of the month when he next gets paid.

Relationship hasn't been great anyway although we seemed to be getting back on track the last month or so, now I'm back to thinking that it's just not going to work if he's going to act so childish over cancelling a night out he can't afford due to his own stupidity.

I'm NBU am I?

No, he's a reckless manchild.

No

He sounds too immature for you, you’re a sensible grown-up, he’s a big baby. Do you see a future with him?

You already have two children, you don’t need another 26 year old one. He needs to grow up and get a grip of himself, he isn’t 18 anymore or even 21. I think you’re too mature for him and deserve someone on a level with you.

Don't lend him money, you have your kids to look after and support...why should you risk having to struggle until end of month just so he can have a night out,

If he can't budget his money then that is his problem (if he is silly enough not to save , instead of lending it all out, leaving himself short)...

But whatever you do, don't give him money for q night out if it means you and your kids will have to go without ..put your kids first...if he doesn't understand , then.hes probably not the right man for you

Get rid definitely.

Get rid. He's a feckless manchild.

Send the message, "Ha ha. Nice one. Seriously though what favour?"

Get rid. This one is definitely not a keeper.

The hills ate thatta way.....run fast

Do not lend him any money - ever

Just dump the loser

He told me he's lent most of his money out to friends and family with no regard for the rest of the month well he should reclaim that money from friends and family before bothering with you.

Also if 85% of his income is disposable, why doesn't he have any savings he could use? He seems really irresponsible.

You have a 10 year old child. What are you doing with a 26yo, still living at home and sounds like a child himself?
Seems like you both are in completely different stages. Can you really imagine him being any sort of step parent to your children. If not, why are you wasting time with him?

I don’t know if he is younger than you but he certainly sounds as if he is. He’s not at the same life stage as you and you really don’t need a man-child in addition to your actual children. I’m not going to tell you to break up with him although I think you’d be much happier in a relationship with another adult, but definitely do not lend him money. Put your children first and spend it on them instead.

He's lying.

He has a secret vice - I guarantee it

But yeah - leave him.

He sounds very immature. Get rid if the relationship isn't great, its not going to get better.

You’re definitely nbu.

Your lives are completely different, you’re at different stages and if you’re both honest with yourselves, you probably want very different things over the next ten years.

If you really fancy him, enjoy his company and understand that it’s a time limited thing, then crack on. But if you want to make plans to work towards for the future, this probably isn’t right for either of you.

Nope, get rid. Selfish manchild who just doesn't get it.

Sounds like you're talking about a 15 yr old boy. Definitely nowhere near mature enough to be able to have a relationship with someone who has DC. I'd walk away.

I'm 28 so not much of an age difference. I've just spoken to him and you're all right, he is like a child, I knew that anyway but think I just needed someone else to say it.

He won't cancel his night out because he's already missed four nights out and I can just give him half the money next week and half the week after. Apparently I owe him money anyway because a couple of times over a few month when he's been on a night out he's offered to send me the cash to treat myself to a bottle of wine and some nice food. Both times I declined and stated I wouldn't be able to afford to pay him back at that time and he said it was a treat and he didn't want it back and sent it to my account anyway.

In hindsight I should have sent it back knowing how selfish he can be and this just shows it all the more. I have paid for things when I can so it's not all one sided just in case it seems that way. I won't be lending him any money and I can't see myself staying in the relationship any longer, I've told him outright that I don't need a third child instead of a partner.

No you really are not being U. To get into a strop because you honestly say you can afford it, if you owed him a lot for ages or had a lot spare he might be entitled to ask but he has no right. BTW like many others I don't accept his story its only the first of the month, most people would be paid yesterday or today for the month, if you leant money to people on 25th he should be getting it back, when the 40 quid is gone on two nights out at weekend what's he doing for lunches etc for the next 3 weeks?

My teen ds isn't this feckless with cash or disrespectful towards me.
He is in no way a partner.
A man child isn't an attractive/positive addition to an adult's life imo..

Fuck that.

Agree - manchild. You don't need this when you're supporting yourself and 2 DC.