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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I be concerned that a friend put a named photo of my DC on her Facebook page?

51 replies

mm22bys · 17/07/2007 07:38

Hi,

A friend (without children) sent me a message through Facebook - it was a link to her "favourite photos", one of which was a photo of my DS1, who she named in full.

I asked her (nicely) to re-tag the photo so his name's not in full anymore.

AIBU, or just paranoid (I don't mind the photo being on there, just his name...)

OP posts:
chopster · 17/07/2007 07:41

I wouldn't want a full name. yanbu.

chopster · 17/07/2007 07:41

to be honest I wouldn't really want friends posting pics of my dkids about neither.

SandCastspells · 17/07/2007 07:42

I wouldn't be pleased if anyone put a pic of MY dd on their facebook/myspace etc with out getting my permission.

I'd be annoyed that theat had used her full name too!

SandCastspells · 17/07/2007 07:43

oh & YANBU!

Never done that before!

MrsJohnCusack · 17/07/2007 08:25

oh I wouldn't dream of posting a picture of anybody's child on the web without their permission

and I would check that they've set the privacy settings so that only friends can see it as well even if you're happy to let the picture stay up there

LittleLupin · 17/07/2007 08:37

YANBU, I'd be cross.

My DS is on mine, but not with his name.

MamaGryffindor · 17/07/2007 08:39

same as Mrs JC

Leati · 17/07/2007 08:42

I have my kids posted with nicknames.

ladylush · 17/07/2007 08:42

I just got an email from a friend who lives overseas telling me she has put me on facebook. I need to ask her not to put any pics of my son on it. I won't even put any pics of him on here, let alone facebook. YANBU

mollysmummy77 · 17/07/2007 08:44

I wouldn't want someone else posting pictures of my lo on their page, named or otherwise, without asking first. I don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask for the name to be changed.

quint · 17/07/2007 08:44

picture not so bad - but name especially full name a big huge no no

peanutbear · 17/07/2007 08:44

She should have asked your permission to be polite if nothing else YANBU

my ex dh has pics of my son all over my space with his name

He thinks I am being unreasonable for not liking it

quint · 17/07/2007 08:48

can you not report something when you find it offensive - I would certainky find it offensive if my DD's faces were plastered over the web with their names

Leati · 17/07/2007 08:55

My kids are on my Myspace account but I put nicknames for them. I also don't have the city I live in or my real name on the sight. When Friends and family look they already know that information and nobody else needs, too.

I also had to set my comments section so that noone could add comments that were not preapproved because sometimes other people would mention thier names. This pretty much covers all the bases.

pyjamaqueen · 17/07/2007 09:02

YANBU - If she DID have her own children, she would probably realise that most mums would not want their children named on the internet or even the photos in there at all. They aren't her children, are they, so can't see why she thinks they should be on her page anyway.

Leati · 17/07/2007 09:06

I imagine because she doesn't have her own children, she just does not better. In someways it a complement to your children, that she cares so much for them that she would want to include them in her facebook. I think asking nicely to re-tag the photos is perfect. Or even better yet if you have another nick name you call him by use that. Like mine are c-man, babygirl, pooby, kyky.

Scoobyc · 17/07/2007 09:07

Def not unreasonable.
My friend asked before she put any photos of my family on Facebook and she has no children. Friend should have thought about it more.

Leati · 17/07/2007 09:07

Whoops,...does not know better is what I meant.

I think you guys are coming down to hard on the poor girl. I am sure she is just naive to the dangers and will change the tag.

duchesse · 17/07/2007 09:07

She prob doesn't appreciate the importance of what she's done. I really do not think you are being unreasonable at all. Ask her to change his name or give him a nickname.

I have had a blog for four years now; my children's blog names are pseudonyms of their nicknames, and any of their friends and nephews or nieces who pop up also get nicknames. The only trouble I have is keeping track of all the nicknames for the next reference months down the line, but it is feasible.

frapachino · 17/07/2007 09:17

I have my mobile no. on my facebook page and pics of my son whose name is easy to workout from mine. I don't worry about it at all. I think it's really sad how paranoid in general society is becoming, but I do appreciate your concerns and I would never put a friends child full name on the page so no you are not being unreasonable.

mm22bys · 17/07/2007 13:50

Thanks for your responses. I am sure she didn't think it through. She is a great friend and would never do anything intentionally to hurt anyone.

It is actually a great photo (if I may so myself), and it's one she took, so I wouldn't ask her to remove it (and as a pp said, yes I am proud that she saw fit to put it on her page!).

I am not going to say anything more to her about it, it's only a minor thing and not worth any way shape or form "hurting" our friendship over..she'll get the message just from my request to change his name.

Thx,

OP posts:
mezzer · 17/07/2007 13:58

I suppose I'm naive but why is it a problem? I know that a lot of people don't like to have real names on the web but are there really any true risks?

Pennies · 17/07/2007 14:12

mezzer I won't put any named photos of me or my family on the net because we have a unique surname so if anyone for whatever reason was trying to find us they'd have no problem with it. If my name was Joe Smith I wouldn't be so fussed, so not sure about others' reasons.

Pennies · 17/07/2007 14:13

What exactly is the point of facebook anyway?

1Troll · 17/07/2007 14:18

mezzer, possibly the risks percentage wise are minimal but there are strange people out there who will take even a normal innocent photo and can with technology adapt them to turn them into something more sinister. I would rather that not be my child.