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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Giving kitten to someone in a flat? Is it cruel?

130 replies

janebee4 · 30/04/2019 19:58

I've posted about my kitten saga before so to recap briefly: got a cat from the RSPCA, told she was spayed but she wasn't, she had 3 kittens, we wanted to keep one but our other cat (also from RSPCA, came with mum cat) hates them and is spraying all over the house so we have to re-home them all.

One is going to someone I used to work with who adopted a cat from the RSPCA recently, I'm really happy with her set up. She's going to neuter, vaccinate and will let the kitten outdoors if he wants to go outside. She recommended a friend from her work for our other female kitten. I asked him if he lived on a main road, if he can spay/vaccinate etc and he said he didn't live on a main road and yes to vaccinating etc. He came round tonight to see the kitten and said he lived in a flat. I asked if there was any outdoor space and he said no.

I don't believe it's fair to keep a cat indoors for its entire life as it's not natural, but then I do completely understand people worrying about them getting attacked/run over etc (and also feel for people who don't like cats and don't want them crapping in their garden).

I don't know what to do. I feel bad that he came over to see her and obviously loved her, and my asking if he lived on a main road probably wasn't explicit enough that I wanted her to have access to outside space. Am I being unreasonable? I mean she could go to someone who said they'd let her out and then didn't anyway. Is it mean to keep a cat inside? I've always been brought up with this idea that it's cruel to supress their natural behaviours but happy to be told I'm being unreasonable.

DP is of the opinion they'll get a cat/kitten anyway so my believing it isn't fair won't change anything, it just wouldn't be our kitten. I'm upset at giving them away though so I just desperately want to make sure they all get the best lives possible.

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IsYourGoogleBroken · 30/04/2019 20:01

Some people have house cats, who never go out (don't agree with it myself) and other people will tell you outside cats are the devil incarnate that shit everywhere they shouldn't and eat birds.

Its a no win situation.

FWIW If the cat has never been outside, it will never know what its missing.

Can I see your kittens please?

yunalis · 30/04/2019 20:05

I too would like to see the kittens.

I would be worried about it being an escape artist. How high up is the flat?

Some cats supposedly like being indoor cats. I've never met one though.

janebee4 · 30/04/2019 20:06

I guess I've always thought a house cat was fine if the cat genuinely didn't want to go out, I have a friend whose cat is petrified of outside and has solidly refused to ever leave the house despite them trying to get her to go out. Or if the cat had a disability that would make it highly likely to get run over or something. I just sort of think they should have the choice.

Here they are. I will be a tearful mess when they have to go (even if dealing with 4 litter trays is driving me absolutely insane)

Giving kitten to someone in a flat? Is it cruel?
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Expressedways · 30/04/2019 20:06

Most Americans keep their cats indoors. Battersea told me they’re fine with it for cats then have never been out before and don’t know what they’re missing.

I’ve always had a indoor cats in flats, adopted as kittens from a rescue. They get plenty of play time and have cat trees, scratching posts, lots of toys for stimulation. There are far too many cats out there in need of loving homes to be that fussy about it in my opinion.

And yes please provide photos!

janebee4 · 30/04/2019 20:07

Sorry on my phone and not sure if the photo posted. Trying again.

Giving kitten to someone in a flat? Is it cruel?
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Expressedways · 30/04/2019 20:08

I can see it- x posted with you. They are utterly adorable! 4 litter trays, however, not so much.

justforthis7 · 30/04/2019 20:08

I had two indoor cats from kittens. Once I moved to a house, they could go out. One embraced it completely and the other was happy to stay a house cat. I think it's dependent on the cat's personality but it's not something you'd know in advance. Sorry, just realised that's not very helpful.

FWIW I don't think it's cruel unless a cat starts as an outdoor cat and is then kept in, which isn't the case here.

AllFourOfThem · 30/04/2019 20:09

Some people live in flats but their cat still goes out. It’s no different to standing by your front/back door and calling the cat in so I wouldn’t automatically assume a cat will stay a house cat forever just because the owner currently lives in a flat.

In some parts of the world it’s illegal to allow your cat outside of your property.

Baloonphobia · 30/04/2019 20:09

Not a problem if they've never been outside. Millions of cats live like this the world over.

TippingHenry · 30/04/2019 20:10

I think its a bit cruel.

I understand people in flats love animals and want cats - but its cruel to the cat - against their nature.

They love to be outside, even if its for a sure part of the day. They are domesticated pets only to a point - cats still retain their "wildness".

A cat in a flat will desperately try to escape at every opportunity - because of this.

They can also get very "stressed" because they don't have the going-outside-outlet. This can cause lots of stress illnesses, like bladder infections etc.

Every single cat rehoming charity insists on access to outside for cats, unless they are very old and ill.

I sympathise with people who love animals and live in a flat - I am one of them - but it really is cruel to keep an animal like a cat inside all of its life.

The fact that "it doesn't know any different" is irrelevant - and a strange argument. If you brought a human up in a cage and said, well, they don't know any different, that would be weird. Cats clearly aren't humans but they are sentient beings who were meant to have access to outside space, its an integral part of their nature.

IsYourGoogleBroken · 30/04/2019 20:11

oooh Kittens

MissConductUS · 30/04/2019 20:11

Most Americans keep their cats indoors

True, me among them. Ours have a bird feeder to watch from the kitchen window, lots of sunny spots to nap and a second story deck that looks out over the woods when they want a breeze in their fur. I don't think that they're deprived or that their life is unnatural. Cats are a domesticated species.

And I don't have to worry about them running into a coyote, which do live in our area.

HotChoc10 · 30/04/2019 20:12

Oh my god they're beautiful

janebee4 · 30/04/2019 20:12

This is the kitten in question. I'm so gutted we can't keep her Sad

Yes I guess if they've never been outside it's less of an issue. I just feel like we've cared for them for the last 2 months and I should be totally 100% happy with where they go. But then I could find someone who seemed perfect and lets her out and then she got run over and I'd be devastated. Although I would never actually know as I can't exactly expect to know what happens with them after they're rehomed. I'm just being very very dramatic about it all really.

Giving kitten to someone in a flat? Is it cruel?
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user1473878824 · 30/04/2019 20:12

Piiiiiiicture!

We have our cat by accident - she was dumped on us. I agree with you about flat cats but unfortunately she is one (and was before us). Hopefully we’ll move soon and the first thing I will be getting is a cat flap but for now she is the happiest, most content cat I have ever met. If a bit fat. She has lots of toys and is played with a lot to keep her entertained and genuinely I’m quite jealous of her lifestyle. She is currently asleep on her back with her legs in the air purring, which she does pretty much constantly. She’s incredibly loved and greets my boyfriend at the door every day like a puppy, purring again.

TheInebriati · 30/04/2019 20:13

It depends on the cat, some are happy being indoors and some get really stressed if they cant go out.

yunalis · 30/04/2019 20:14

Argh they're adorable. 😍

TippingHenry · 30/04/2019 20:14

Cats are only semi-domesticated. They retain much more of their wildness than dogs.

Don't judge it by US-standards. In the US, its legal to declaw cats (illegal here).

coral13 · 30/04/2019 20:17

We have 2 house cats in a big house and a huge cattio outside. However when we got them we lived in a 2 bedroom flat. Yes, they love their new house and being able to go out and watch birds (without being able to get them!) but they were equally as content in the flat!

Evalina · 30/04/2019 20:20

We used to live in a raised ground floor flat, and inherited the previous owner's cat. He spent most of the day outside, and could get in through the small kitchen window. So it's probably worth asking what the plan is for the cat, and how it will get in and out before ruling him out.

janebee4 · 30/04/2019 20:20

TippingHenry this is my line of thinking also. If there was no other choice but to give her to this person or her going to a shelter I'd say absolutely let him have her, but I know we could find someone else with a better set up. But I'd feel terribly guilty saying no after he's met her and he did seem like a really nice person who would look after her properly, it's just the outdoors question.

I was watching My Cat From Hell and Jackson Galaxy is very disapproving of outdoor cats but I sort of assumed that in America the reasoning makes more sense as there's so many more predators that could hurt a cat. I just wish a family member could have her but no one is able to Sad

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dementedpixie · 30/04/2019 20:20

He could always take them out on a harness and lead

janebee4 · 30/04/2019 20:21

The guy lives with his brother in the flat so I don't think they're planning to move to a house anytime soon and he said definitely no access to outdoors.

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MissConductUS · 30/04/2019 20:23

Every single cat rehoming charity insists on access to outside for cats, unless they are very old and ill.

Perhaps that's true in the UK, but it's not true everywhere. This rescue insists on a commitment to keeping the cat indoors only.

www.meowcatrescue.org/adopt/policies/index.html

In my experience in the US, the rescues I've used left the decision up to the new guardian.

coral13 · 30/04/2019 20:25

A cat in a flat will desperately try to escape at every opportunity - because of this

This is a load of crap!

Every single cat rehoming charity insists on access to outside for cats, unless they are very old and ill

Apart from the rehoming charity that we have always used. So not, every single rehoming charity. None of our cats have been old or ill.