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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Giving kitten to someone in a flat? Is it cruel?

130 replies

janebee4 · 30/04/2019 19:58

I've posted about my kitten saga before so to recap briefly: got a cat from the RSPCA, told she was spayed but she wasn't, she had 3 kittens, we wanted to keep one but our other cat (also from RSPCA, came with mum cat) hates them and is spraying all over the house so we have to re-home them all.

One is going to someone I used to work with who adopted a cat from the RSPCA recently, I'm really happy with her set up. She's going to neuter, vaccinate and will let the kitten outdoors if he wants to go outside. She recommended a friend from her work for our other female kitten. I asked him if he lived on a main road, if he can spay/vaccinate etc and he said he didn't live on a main road and yes to vaccinating etc. He came round tonight to see the kitten and said he lived in a flat. I asked if there was any outdoor space and he said no.

I don't believe it's fair to keep a cat indoors for its entire life as it's not natural, but then I do completely understand people worrying about them getting attacked/run over etc (and also feel for people who don't like cats and don't want them crapping in their garden).

I don't know what to do. I feel bad that he came over to see her and obviously loved her, and my asking if he lived on a main road probably wasn't explicit enough that I wanted her to have access to outside space. Am I being unreasonable? I mean she could go to someone who said they'd let her out and then didn't anyway. Is it mean to keep a cat inside? I've always been brought up with this idea that it's cruel to supress their natural behaviours but happy to be told I'm being unreasonable.

DP is of the opinion they'll get a cat/kitten anyway so my believing it isn't fair won't change anything, it just wouldn't be our kitten. I'm upset at giving them away though so I just desperately want to make sure they all get the best lives possible.

OP posts:
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HelloJackieYouLookNice · 30/04/2019 20:57

I think it depends on the cat. I grew up on a farm and we always had at least one cat, but several were hit by cars on the rural road outside which has got busier and busier, in fact when my parents current elderly cat dies they have said they won’t replace her because of the road Sad

I have wanted a cat for years but we leave on a suburban main road and having grown up watching the farm cats I didn’t like the idea of either an indoor cat or a squashed one so we didn’t take the plunge until earlier this year. After speaking to several rescues who all agreed to let us rehome an indoor cat (so the idea that they don’t allow this is nonsense Hmm) they reassured us that provided the cat has never been out this would be fine.

Dcat however has had other ideas...within a few weeks she was constantly trying to get out so she is now allowed out into our large back garden under supervision. She is never allowed out without someone watching her. She has never tried to get out of the garden though and is happy just to sit and watch the hedge/catch insects/look in the pond.

We also have a kitten who does not seem so interested in going out. I take her out on a harness sometimes to get some air and she seems happy once she’s out but i have to carry her out through the door, she won’t walk out by herself and sometimes refuses to even let me harness her so I guess she’s just happier inside. This suits me because she’s nuts and certainly wouldn’t just happily sit on the patio like her big sister - she’d be gone Grin

suziQ10 · 30/04/2019 21:14

Gorgeous kittens!
I personally think it's cruel to keep them indoors. They need to be able to roam free, access nature.. not be confined to a handful of rooms.

I had an indoor cat once when living in an apartment and he went slightly mad. He had all sorts of problems in the end. We rehomed him to family friends who we see regularly and although he still has some problems, being in his new home with big garden etc seems to suit him better. Less crazy.

Justonemorepancake · 30/04/2019 21:17

Don't think if they never go out they don't know what they're missing. It's not true. We had to rehome a cat when I was younger that had never been out and started pining desperately by the front door every day. We lived on a main road. We rehomed to a farm. So yeah - some get the urge to go out even if they've never been.

Justonemorepancake · 30/04/2019 21:18

Oh and our cat had a litter of 4 and we ended up keeping them all!

powershowerforanhour · 30/04/2019 21:27

I feel the same about indoor only cats as I feel about zero grazing dairy systems. I think most of them don't really mind but it just seems a bit wrong somehow. Plus you almost never see an indoor only cat that isn't overweight and undermuscled. I can see the point about the wildlife though. This dilemma is partly why I don't have a cat, much as I like them.

mathanxiety · 30/04/2019 21:27

I have a cat in a flat. She is an indoor cat who never goes out.

I am on a main road, there are hawks and the occasional coyote around, and also racoons.

My cat is perfectly healthy and very happy. She gets lots of attention, has toys to knock around, a cat platform/ladder thing to climb on, boxes, baskets, scratching posts, a bolt hole to hide in during thunderstorms, we play with her with string, and she has caught several mice and many bugs.

I susoect the thing that would make her life complete would be another cat but as you have found, there are no guarantees that this would work out well.

coral13 · 30/04/2019 21:36

@Powershowerforanhour apart from every cat I've rehomed as an indoor cat and has been the perfect weight according to the vet...

CSIblonde · 30/04/2019 21:39

Are you sure it'd be a house cat only? Was it a non ground floor flat in a large block or non ground floor? The stray I've adopted I let in & out thru the side bit of my bay window as she sits on the ledge crying to come in or the front door, as sometimes she follows me in & out thru it.

HBStowe · 30/04/2019 21:45

I have two cats who were very contented house cats in a flat for years. If they don’t know any different, it’s not cruel. It’s only cruel to take an outdoor cat and make it a house cat.

JaceLancs · 30/04/2019 21:45

DP has 2 cats who he got from kittens and they have never been outside
They seem very happy and don’t have any desire to go out
However they do have each other as siblings which may make this different
I’ve always had outdoor cats and can’t imagine keeping them in

Purpleartichoke · 30/04/2019 21:46

Most of our local rescues will not let you adopt a cat if you intend to let it outside (unless you are building a cat run or leash training)

Baloonphobia · 30/04/2019 21:53

My cat is outdoor and is obese.

Butteredghost · 30/04/2019 22:06

I have indoor only cats and I think it's fine. I've had them since they were kittens and they have never been outside. Really I don't think cats should be let outdoors as they decimate native bird and small mammal populations.

janebee4 · 30/04/2019 22:26

I guess it's all what you're used to. I quite harshly have never really considered the effects on wildlife as I saw it as just natural cat behaviour, but then I suppose how we've domesticated them isn't natural! I always had outdoor cats as a child and my mum thinks it's the height of cruelty to keep a cat cooped up indoors.

I think part of my concern is I don't think the flat will be that big, given the area they're in which is city centre and it's a lot of studios or small one/two beds. It's mad but a lot of people have said she's very cute but don't want a cat so DP thinks I'm not really in a position to be so picky. I just want her to have the best possible life but I know I can't guarantee that!

OP posts:
janebee4 · 30/04/2019 22:28

Here they are with mum cat. I also feel awful for when they've all gone and she starts looking for them Sad she's been such a good mum to them

Giving kitten to someone in a flat? Is it cruel?
OP posts:
Baloonphobia · 30/04/2019 22:31

From experience, you'll be much more upset on her behalf than she actually will be.

qazxc · 30/04/2019 22:43

I got 2 cats from rescue.
After the obligatory 2 weeks indoors to get them used to new home, I have not been able to get either of them to go outside. So they are now indoor cats, one was adopted 12 years ago and the other one 8yrs ago.
They are not desperate to go out and they could easily get out if they wanted as we frequently have windows open or door open in good weather or when in the garden.
Some cats just prefer to be indoors and will be perfectly happy to be indoor cats.

janebee4 · 30/04/2019 22:54

qazxc I think that's absolutely fine and makes total sense, my concern is more that there's no choice for her to go outside even if she wanted to.

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MidniteScribbler · 30/04/2019 23:01

I've only ever had inside cats, and one of the conditions of getting my current cat is that he would never be allowed outside unless in a cat run. All of my previous cats have survived well into their late teens, and I can be assured that no wildlife has died because of my cats.

LizB62A · 30/04/2019 23:10

I think you should try and find a home with outside space for the kitten if she wants to go out. Like other posters I don't think it's fair to keep them in all the time.
I used to live in the US and the poor indoor cats there looked blimming miserable - the ones near me spent their entire lives sitting on the inside windowsill looking at a world that they could never be part of.
My US kitty could come and go as she pleased

FenellaVelour · 30/04/2019 23:16

I’ve two indoor cats, age 8 and 9, it’s all they’ve ever known and they’re quite happy pootling round the house. I did however choose a breed that was suited for indoor living (British Shorthair) rather than something like, say, a Bengal which is an active breed.

I got both cats as adults, but neither have ever been outdoors. The front door was accidentally left open for three hours a few months back (not by me!) and they were both still happily curled up asleep on their cat tree.

999caffeineplease · 30/04/2019 23:20

I rehomed two cats recently and the charity I rehomed from specifically looks for indoor only homes.

We live in a flat and the cats have never been out, and don't seem at all fussed about the outside world anyway - they'll sit on the windowsills but only for the cosy patches in the sun, not to look out.

When we move to a house (soon hopefully) we'll let them choose if they want out or not but at the moment are content with their lot, as they know no different.

Meowzzz · 30/04/2019 23:25

This 'don't know what they're missing lark' is simply untrue. I understand why people keep cats in BUT welfare is lacking when an animal can't perform natural behaviours, there's a reason the Animal Welfare act covers this. Caging a bird, feeding a horse one meal a day, keeping a cat confined are all unnatural and prevent them from carrying out behaviours they innately know, negatively effects wellbeing and mental state

Nandocushion · 30/04/2019 23:36

Rescues here in my state in the US make adopters sign a pledge that you won't let the kitten/cat outside before they allow you to adopt.

Of COURSE it's fine to keep a cat inside. They're domesticated animals, not wild. They will get used to whatever. Almost every cat owner I know has indoor cats.

In my neighbourhood there are plenty of people who have seen coyotes walking down the street with pet cats in their mouths. I know that coyotes aren't an issue in the UK, but foxes - and cars - probably still are.

mathanxiety · 01/05/2019 01:46

janebee my cat-besotted DD1 fosters mother cats and their kitties. (She also has her own huge black cat who lives indoors, but that is another story).

DD1 just parted with her latest mother cat and family of three. They all went their separate ways. She gets regular postings from all the cats and kits she has fostered (well, from their families).

The new families have reported stress that lasts for a few days, but after that the kittens and mothers have been fine.