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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was she being a bit rude?

108 replies

Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 18:26

Prepared to be told if I was but I don't think I done anything wrong.
Picked my DS up from nursery they have a car park with normal sized spaces. I was within the lines and if anything parked more to the right because the car on the left of me was parked really close to my left. I opened the left back passenger door to get son in and did it gently but I had to touch the car on the left to get my son it because it was that much of a tight squeeze. I didn't bang my door onto the car next to me at all. As I was strapping him in the woman came out and grabbed my door and said "I'll just grabbed this as it's touching my car" not in a nice tone. I said oh I'm sorry. She then started wiping her car next to me which I feel she was doing to make a point because I made sure it was ok. I couldn't go through the other side because I would have touched that car too so pointless. How was I suppose to get him in without touching a car. Surely she would understand? She works at the nursery so not one of the mums

OP posts:
TheFastandCurious · 30/04/2019 18:28

You really shouldn’t have had your door on her car but her passively aggressively wiping her door after you’d apologised made her look a twat.

Just forget about it and try not to let it upset you too much Smile

Rosesaredead · 30/04/2019 18:28

She sounds petty, rude and annoying

KnifeAngel · 30/04/2019 18:29

It is never ever ok to touch someone else's car with your door.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 30/04/2019 18:30

It's not really worth worrying about either way, I wouldn't say either of you has behaved in an inappropriate or rude way

You parked carefully and made sure you didn't damage her car

She held your car door to minimise the contact and rubbed her paint work to check no damage

No big deal

Iggly · 30/04/2019 18:30

It is never ever ok to touch someone else's car with your door

Sometimes it’s unavoidable. Just be careful

Original poster
Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 18:31

I agree in an ideal world I shouldn't have touched her car but I don't know how I was suppose to get my son in the car otherwise. She was actually parked in the places where the parents park too not the staff spots.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 30/04/2019 18:31

She was OTT but you really shouldn't have let your door rest on her car. You should've held it.

Original poster
Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 18:32

I know it's not a massive deal either just felt it a bit petty to start rubbing your car right next to me when I had said sorry. Couldn't she do it when I weren't looking

OP posts:
GreenHouseKeeping · 30/04/2019 18:32

You shouldn't touch anyone's car with your own!

I'm not surprised she was cross; dings to paintwork significantly affect the value of a used car...

KnifeAngel · 30/04/2019 18:33

Sorry doesn't excuse any damage that may have been caused that she would then have to pay to fix.

hatemyhairhun · 30/04/2019 18:33

I agree that is not ideal to touch another car with your car’s door, but if it’s that tight what else was OP supposed to do? Yes the owner was around this time, that might not always be the case though so you can’t necessarily wait for them to return.

Original poster
Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 18:34

How can I hold the door and lift my son in the car and strap in him at the same time. I really think it was unavoidable. I mean I wouldn't like it but least I would understand and if the person was apologetic I would let it go and not be petty. Maybe would have said I'll hold it because it's touching my car. The spaces are a bit space here aren't they. And let it go. I actually think this woman is the owner of the nursery.

OP posts:
GreenHouseKeeping · 30/04/2019 18:34

I don't know how I was suppose to get my son in the car otherwise

You put your hand between your door and the other car, so that your door is resting on your hand.

If you really can't do this then you need to wait until the person gets back.

Original poster
Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 18:35

Spaces are a bit small*

OP posts:
GreenHouseKeeping · 30/04/2019 18:35

How can I hold the door and lift my son in the car and strap in him at the same time

That's really not the other driver's problem.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/04/2019 18:35

You could have put your son in on the other side.

Original poster
Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 18:37

green I couldn't lift and clip my son into into his carseat with one hand. And this women works at the nursery so didn't know how long she would be it's not she would be in and out like the other mums.

OP posts:
SilviaSalmon · 30/04/2019 18:37

If your door had caused any damage to her car you would have been liable. Plus it is really rude. You need to hold the door to ensure no contact.

EskeewdBeef · 30/04/2019 18:37

I don't think she was rude necessarily, she wanted to make sure you didn't damage her paintwork. She was assertive.

How did she grab it when you were wedged in the gap by the way? She must been squeezing her hand around you, which would have been weird to be fair to you Grin

Original poster
Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 18:38

aqua I would have touched a car either side regardless. I agree ideally you shouldn't touch a car but this was unavoidable. And I gently opened the car so carefully there was no damage at all.

OP posts:
TopBitchoftheWitches · 30/04/2019 18:40

After a little boy (about 6) swung his mothers car door into mine recently because he was allowed to get in by himself Hmm I would say she was quite pleasant tbh. No need for such rudeness or lack of care.

GreenHouseKeeping · 30/04/2019 18:42

You could have:

  1. Put your DS in another way, I've had to do it through the boot before now
  2. Wait until the driver got back (go into the nursery and ask who the car belonged to maybe?)
  3. Ask a passer by to hold the door for you so you didn't have to rest it on another car
  4. Not have parked in a 'tight' space in the first place.

The bottom line is that this is your problem, not hers. Damaging her car to fix your problem isn't a valid solution here.

FlightOfTheCat · 30/04/2019 18:48

I’m with you on this, Moofreemum, although I’ve seen this on MN before and I seemed to be in the minority.

If it were me parked next to you, I would prefer you to do what you did as then there’s no way then that door can slip or get knocked which would then mean it then hit my car with some force behind it.

Cannyhandleit · 30/04/2019 18:53

Op I have and would again do the same as you! And I honestly don't care if people think it's rude or out of order, I would be careful. Don't over analyse and move on!

girlwithadragontattoo · 30/04/2019 18:54

As someone who's car is constantly left with little marks (i work in a tourist area and my car is similar to rentals) i can honestly same I'd be a bit pissed. Wither you thought you were being gentle or not it still leaves a mark

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