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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was she being a bit rude?

108 replies

Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 18:26

Prepared to be told if I was but I don't think I done anything wrong.
Picked my DS up from nursery they have a car park with normal sized spaces. I was within the lines and if anything parked more to the right because the car on the left of me was parked really close to my left. I opened the left back passenger door to get son in and did it gently but I had to touch the car on the left to get my son it because it was that much of a tight squeeze. I didn't bang my door onto the car next to me at all. As I was strapping him in the woman came out and grabbed my door and said "I'll just grabbed this as it's touching my car" not in a nice tone. I said oh I'm sorry. She then started wiping her car next to me which I feel she was doing to make a point because I made sure it was ok. I couldn't go through the other side because I would have touched that car too so pointless. How was I suppose to get him in without touching a car. Surely she would understand? She works at the nursery so not one of the mums

OP posts:

TrickyKid · 30/04/2019 18:54

Some prople are very precious about cars. I got out of my car in a tight space and my door had to touch the car next to me. I opened it very gently but the person in the car came out and stated inspecting his car.

Biancadelrioisback · 30/04/2019 18:55

She was being protective of her car...which she has ever right to be. You don't get to damage other people possession to solve your problem. You should have just popped back into the nursery and asked if they knew whos car it was

Original poster

Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 19:02

flight this is exactly it. I didn't want to move and my bum bump the car door into hers by accident. It would seem that most people don't ever accidently touch a car door weather the person is around or not! Ha

OP posts:

MadeForThis · 30/04/2019 19:04

I'd have did the same as you. Gently opening the door and ensuring that no pressure is applied to the door is better than trying to leave it propped open and the door banging open.

You were parked correctly in a space. You took consideration not to bang her door. Not much else you could have done.

Charmlight · 30/04/2019 19:04

I would do everything possible not to touch someone else’s car with my door, because I would be really annoyed if it happened to me.
Auto body work is so expensive.
If I absolutely had no choice, I think I would hang my coat/jumper etc over my door edge, so metal didn’t touch metal.

BrylcreamBeret · 30/04/2019 19:06

Only (and I mean ONLY) in the ether realms of Mumsnet would people genuinely recommend stuffing a child through a boot to get them in a car to avoid getting on the nerves of someone else (who is a delicate aggressive fucking petal btw). I want a good few grams of whatever you nutjobs are sniffing.

floraloctopus · 30/04/2019 19:06

Was it the only space available to park in?

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 30/04/2019 19:08

Lol! Putting them in the car seat through to boot!!

I’ve got a little sponge windscreen cleaner thingy. If here is a really tight spot and unavoidable I put that between the edge of car door and other car.

JaniceBattersby · 30/04/2019 19:08

People are utterly ridiculous about their cars. I mean, it’s now a thing that you can’t touch someone else’s car?! Honestly, it’s just a bit of paintwork and if there really is a tiny mark left by someone else’s car door touching yours then.. so what? The sky won’t fall in.

The purpose of a car is to transport people around. A tiny scratch in the paintwork is going to make zero difference to that. And if a little knock on the resale value is going to make a huge difference to your life, you’re probably not driving the kind of car that has no dinks in it anyway.

My car has been trolleyed and hit by car doors several times. It’s just one of those things. I don’t even notice until days later not of the time.

jcq17 · 30/04/2019 19:09

I agree it's not right to touch your door on someone else's car door. I would of reacted how she did.

JinglingHellsBells · 30/04/2019 19:09

I had the same thing in a 'posh' supermarket car park with an elderly man. He had an old scruffy car and my car was newer and worth more FWIW. He'd parked close to me and I had no option other than to open my door very carefully (no child with me) in order to get into the driving seat.

He came along saying he'd rather my door wasn't touching his car.

I got quite heated and told him I'd taken HUGE care to make sure my door didn't bang his (for the sake of my own paintwork too) and he was deeply unpleasant.

I accused him of being a bully because I bet if I'd been a 6ft burly bloke he'd not have said a word to me. As it is I'm a petite blonde middle aged woman , who's been driving (carefully) for 40+ years, and he was a complete tosser.

I have had one or two of these incidents with elderly men in car parks and I think there are some who like to throw their weight around at women without good reason.

Going back to your post, she was out of order.

youlladdressmeassir · 30/04/2019 19:12

I don't give a fuck if I'm considered rude, a twat or a delicate petal or any of the other charming names given on this thread.

She didn't overreact and I would have done exactly the same as her

Scratches need to be paid for. Why should I be out of pocket

YemenRoadYemen · 30/04/2019 19:13

‘It’s pretty tight here, as you can well see! Bright smile, move on from irrelevant, neurotic lady.

Vulpine · 30/04/2019 19:13

If your car means that much to you park it far away from other cars

KnifeAngel · 30/04/2019 19:14

@JaniceBattersby it's not now a thing not to touch people's cars. It has always been the way for normal people with manners.

Original poster

Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 19:20

brylcream that made me laugh. I agree I'm not going to put my child through the boot!

Good suggestions about the coat over the door or car sponge between the door though. I'll use that idea next time. And people are make out that her car would have loads of scratches on I didn't bang her car so I don't understand how on earth a scratch that big would appear. May be a tiny scratch with a magnifying glass but I think she was being a bit much. She also shouldn't park in the parent spaces and she had parked right on the right hand side line so not to be too close to the Bush even though no one was getting in that side.

OP posts:

Celebelly · 30/04/2019 19:21

Meh I do this from time to time. Not sure how gently resting something on the side of the car will damage it unless your car is made of marshmallow. Any 'marks' left will probably just rub off.

Some guy banged his door into my nice new car the other day. I checked and there was no mark or dent and it was a proper whack. Gently resting would have been better though
Pmsl at putting your child in through the boot to avoid your door touching another car.

ScrewyMcScrewup · 30/04/2019 19:24

Any 'marks' left will probably just rub off.

Then you get an AIBU thread saying how rude you were for rubbing off marks from your car.

Celebelly · 30/04/2019 19:24

Onecutefox · 30/04/2019 19:26

I always try to open the door if too close to another car holding it so that my knuckles touch the other car.

Original poster

Moofreemum1 · 30/04/2019 19:30

onecute I couldn't physically do that and lift my son into the car and strap him into the car seat. I needed two hands

OP posts:

Jaxhog · 30/04/2019 19:33

She's batshit! As long as you don't bang it, touching the car next to you does no damage. Modern i.e. last 20 years paintwork can take it!

Wait until the driver got back (go into the nursery and ask who the car belonged to maybe?)
Seriously? How long should she wait? 10 minutes? An hour? Half a day?

Someone boxed me in a space today at the supermarket. I had no qualms about 'resting' my car door on the CF parker's door so I could shimmy in. It caused absolutely no damage. And yes, I checked.

Goodenough06 · 30/04/2019 19:35

Haha to all the people saying put your child in through the other door or even through the boot!!!?? Really?! I'd love to give this a go in my current, very pregnant situation with my 2 year old.
Or wait with your child until the other driver comes back? Please!

One car door gently opened to rest on another car does absolutely no damage whatsoever. She was grumpy, if you said sorry and there were no marks on her car just put it down to her having a bad day.

Springwalk · 30/04/2019 19:37

I have done this a hundred times. I have a large car and it’s not always my fault with the other car often parking badly after me.

Forget it, she’s pathetic for being so precious. Your baby’s safety, abs ensuring he is strapped in correctly is more important than touching another car door

Skinnyjeansandaloosetop · 30/04/2019 19:41

What the hell is wrong with people on here!? Gently opening a car door and resting it on the other car isn’t going to mark the other car’s door. I think everyone on here is mental and that other woman sounds like a passive aggressive cow.

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