To think this is fine to talk about in a work email

[SandAndSeals]

I’ve NC as this is potentially outing.

An awareness email went out to colleagues about the menopause. Is the email, it lists the symptoms inc. hot flushes, low mood etc and also ‘vaginal dryness and reduced sex drive’.

My colleague has put a complaint email in about it as they don’t think it’s appropriate to mention vaginal dryness is a workplace email. However I disagree. It’s a common symptom and should be listed in an awareness article. You would take out ‘difficulty holding an erection’ when discussing prostate cancer, for example.

The Health team send out other emails about out conditions and illnesses depending on what’s being asked for. I’m in the Women’s Network so I know that menopause info has been asked for.

What do you think? AIBU or is she?

Just to clear a few things up:

It wasn't an email saying 'women in the menopause have x, y z symptoms' exclusively. It was a Health and Wellbeing email that included other topics - mostly around Mental Health but some other new initiatives and awareness things.

I didn't write it, but you are correct that I do have a vested interest: I am a woman. Workplace policies or guidance that support women is important to me as, at some point, I will go through the menopause and would like to feel that my symptoms are not taboo. The menopause will affect half of the workforce yet people just don't want to talk about it. It seems ludicrous to me and shows that there's still many barriers facing women's health that need tackling.

Our workplace is really engaged and we do have a dedicated Health and Wellbeing team who produce comms, events and workshops. Movember is always dedicated to Prostate Cancer and work has been done around Breast Cancer too. There's a lot of work put into Mental Health and I'm impressed when compared to my partner's organisation. However this is the first time the menopause has been mentioned. When talking about prostate cancer, there's no shyness about mention penile issues but vaginas seem to be unmentionable and squeamish. Why? It's ridiculous - it is just a body part and it can affect work.

We've had a menopause awareness session at work, it was advertised on the internal net but no symptoms were mentioned and attendance was voluntary.

And I don't understand the point of this? The only people who will attend are the ones who already know the symptoms of the menopause when actually awareness should be there to inform others (men, younger women not yet worried, those too embarrassed to attend such a session, etc).

I lost a job a few years ago due to peri-menopause symptoms.

I often think about the younger woman who fired me who may well be experiencing the same sort of emotional reactions, short temper and lack of sleep now that I went through then. I bloody well hope so.

Raising awareness of menopausal symptoms is only very going to be a good thing.

Did they have one for men of a certain age I. E. impotence?

I work in the public sector and it is very common for us to have emails and intranet articles about health for employees and not just about the symptoms that might affect their work. It's about being an employer who actively looks out for their staff's health and there are various levels of award that employers can achieve, similar to Investors in People. It's not just for the public sector either. Yes, they are being a concerned employer but it is also about getting employees healthy and back into work.

www.healthyworkinglives.scot

I have something in my personal life that is actively affecting my health and my employer has been extremely supportive.

I am actually shocked at how many women posting on this thread show by their comments that they have no understanding of the menopause and how it affects some women.
And yes a friend was fired for being peri menopausal.

managedmis How is impotence at all relevant to a workplace?

I might be wrong OP but guessing you're in the civil service? Our women's network had also just introduced a menopause policy at my department which I actually found really refreshing that something that is focused on women isn't being hidden away and only spoken about by the network. As someone going through early menopause I can confidently talk about my symptoms now and it feels like I'm not going to be shut down or ignored - I have hot flushes and memory lapses, and with the widened knowledge about the menopause, I don't feel as though it's something to try to hide, and I can explain to my male manager the reasonable adjustments I need.

I am no longer embarrassed - i didn't know much about what to expect myself , and the policy and the toolkit produced by the over 50s network and the women's network has been really helpful. As a union rep I was consulted on how it should be launched, and everyone wag in agreement about the content, tone and platform to normalise menopause. It's not about knowing that Sandra has vaginal dryness, but about making it less embarrassing for Sandra to say to her manager Howard that she is menopausal and may need reasonable adjustments, and Howard won't just think of a desktop fan as the answer to all her woes.

Those posters who know someone or who were themselves fired due to being menopausal or peri-menopausal - how did this happen?

this wouldn't be appropriate in my sector/industry.

there's enough of a problem with female talent retention, we don't need a box ticking TMI "health and wellbeing" noise to add on top of everyone's overflowing inboxes. Sounds like the sort of thing our not-very-busy-head-of-the-social-committee-and-donations Receptionist would come up with. other employees have more important things / noise to be dealing with.

having a general managerial reminder about good employment practice (for ANY employee suffering from e.g. hot flushes, fatigue - stuff that could affect their work life) = good.
some wanky health and wellbeing email being blasted around to every employee = token gesture, TMI, and not appropriate (in my workplace).

Margo She was fired for not being as efficient at work. She had been shit hot at her job, and was no longer. But that was the result of forgetting things more easily and finding it harder to focus.
I only just hung on to my job myself and went from being very good at my job, to just about passable.

I think vaginal dryness is relevant if you are constantly itchy and uncomfortable

I used to have a colleague who had a condition that caused uncomfortable itchiness (not the menopause), our bosses were aware of this and made adjustments for her. Hardly anyone else knew because it was her own personal business - she told me because we were very friendly - but she would have been so embarrassed if someone had sent a group email around the department about it.

I agree with pp, it's a really intrusive thing to do. If some women want to talk about it, or any other condition or problem, good for them, but not everyone feels like that. I have a completely non-embarrassing condition, but I'd think it was really off if my employer tried to use it to gain woke points.

Our workplace is really engaged and we do have a dedicated Health and Wellbeing team who produce comms, events and workshops.

From past experience, employers who do all this have a massive problem with employee sickness levels. They are making their employees ill with a toxic work environment and will do nothing to address the real issues. People don't want wellbeing days, free health checks and yoga sessions, they want more time off, job shares, well-paid part time work and to leave on time every day.

I can't see why this should really be necessary in the workplace.

I can see younger/more puerile male staff sniggering and very likely making jokes about poor old Ms X needing KY jelly.
I would hope I'm wrong there, but I rather fear not.

I'm not sure it's something I want men guffawing over to be honest.

I used to work in a company where we had similar health awareness emails. Prostate cancer was one I recall, depression another.

I suppose it can help men maybe who might not be able to discuss what their wives are going through, so maybe it's reassuring to men in that way, that it's a pretty typical symptom.

Was the complaining colleague male or female?

We have a health and wellbeing team. We also have flexitime, up to 25 days annual leave, flexible working including job shares and part-time, career breaks, sabbaticals, and so forth.

We do have a lot of pressure on staff though due to government austerity, and staff and budget cuts while dealing with the, often very vulnerable, public. Our pay is also down to the government.

Sometimes employers aren't necessarily to blame.

Yes, civil service.

Colleague was a woman. She actually was supportive of menopause being mentioned but just took particular complaint with the ‘vaginal dryness’ part.

“Mothers used to be advised when returning to work not to talk about their kids or any difficulties it caused at work, because you will be discriminated against”

Sadly that’s still the situation for many working mothers.

I don't see the point of a menopause policy. People go through puberty, have periods and go through the menopause. I'm not minimising "wimmins" problems but your life doesn't stop, you just get on with it.

she told me because we were very friendly - but she would have been so embarrassed if someone had sent a group email around the department about it.

No one has sent a group email about any one individual's specific symptoms. Are you being deliberately obtuse?

I can see younger/more puerile male staff sniggering and very likely making jokes about poor old Ms X needing KY jelly.
If emails/awareness-raising like this flushes out those individuals who need to grow the fuck up then so much the better.

And yes, my organisation is much the same as TooManyPaws - good engagement, good work-life balance policies but lots of financial pressures from central government.

It doesn't negate that the Health and Wellbeing team do a lot of positive work.

Loppytiles And it is exactly what is being said on here in regards to the menopause.

No one has sent a group email about any one individual's specific symptoms. confused Are you being deliberately obtuse?

Unless there isn't one single woman of menopausal age working there, then the email will be about the symptoms of individuals. Are you being deliberately obtuse or or were you just not aware that middle aged women have jobs?

PanamaPattie Seriously if you have a tough menopause the symptoms can totally change your life for a number of years.
I am disabled and I think the peri menopause had more of an impact on me daily than my disability does. It was fucking devastating.

Yes claire, I get that, and I think that the risk is that the kind of ill thought out comms OP outlines - vaginal dryness etc- increases the odds of embarrassment or discrimination, rather than leading to anything useful for women.

Hm, some of these posts veer into the territory of ‘the menopause isn’t relevant at work’ and even ‘we’re too busy and important to care about the menopause at work’ which seems a bit of a risky standpoint when there are plenty of examples in this thread of ways that the menopause does affect women at work.

If you’re a manager and you treat someone unfairly because of your ignorance or lack of care for an issue that only affects women then aren’t you exposing your organisation to a risk of a sex discrimination claim. Which is important to all organisations even if simply caring about your employees and doing the right thing by them isn’t enough of a motivation.