To think this is fine to talk about in a work email

[SandAndSeals]

I’ve NC as this is potentially outing.

An awareness email went out to colleagues about the menopause. Is the email, it lists the symptoms inc. hot flushes, low mood etc and also ‘vaginal dryness and reduced sex drive’.

My colleague has put a complaint email in about it as they don’t think it’s appropriate to mention vaginal dryness is a workplace email. However I disagree. It’s a common symptom and should be listed in an awareness article. You would take out ‘difficulty holding an erection’ when discussing prostate cancer, for example.

The Health team send out other emails about out conditions and illnesses depending on what’s being asked for. I’m in the Women’s Network so I know that menopause info has been asked for.

What do you think? AIBU or is she?

Aridane Your post made laugh out loud

* "I have watched three colleagues go through menopause recently and really struggle with all sorts at work. They needed support from colleagues and friends and lucky they were women who were not afraid to "ask" for it.* "
But did they need help from colleagues with their vaginal dryness?

The vaginal bit was gross.I would object myself

Do you have vagina? If you do, are you disgusted by your own vagina? What a very weird attitude to the female body.

In all the years i’ve Worked I have never ever once though about a co worker’s genitals.

I assumed they didn’t have any and I assume they think the same as me.

And I once had a ONS with one of them

My work is also doing similar (wondering if it is the same firm?), and they're hosting a web meeting with a menopause doctor. Don't think I'll attend. It's nice of them, but I think I'd prefer to discuss this with my friend rather than a bunch of strangers.

If the email itself is giving information about menopausal symptoms targetting women mainly but men also, then it is appropriate. But if it is a sort of 'cover letter' type email pointing you in direction of more info, then it using a bit explicit language that some people may take offence at. Personally it would not bother me in the slightest. It's always seems to be womens' 'bits' that seem to cause the most embarrassment!

As a menopausal woman I welcome as much info and normalising of the subject (the menopause not vaginal dryness! :D) as possible. It still seems to cause massive embarrassment (and little discussion) to both men and women.

@SandAndSeals having skim read I'm guessing you work in civil service?
I do too and we have similar policies and well being events at work and have seen a menopause email too.

Having been in civil service for 12 years I can say that in any office there will always be someone who isn't happy unless they are being "offended" by something!!

It's not unreasonable at all - they need to get a life!

I’ve yet to understand what action employees are supposed to take as a result of the email.

Out of interest those posters who have menopause policies in their places of work, what action or behaviours do the policies promote or prohibit?

Look at that Wales NHS menop policy I linked to upthread. Lots of checklists to do!

Personally, I feel that far from normalising the menopause, this sort of thing actually makes women feel like freak shows. It’s “othering”, putting a certain age bracket of women into a category of person that needs special allowances and understanding. It’s potentially very patronising. I think a good number of men and younger women would read that and think “blimey, better steer clear Sue in marketing, if I pull her up on anything she’ll take me to a tribunal for not supporting her menopause”.

I think by and large, barring the more extreme cases, women can be trusted to handle their health issues privately. If I need to leave a meeting to have a hot flush or whatever, I’m sure I can figure out a way of excusing myself discreetly.

It's not about that specific symptom though. The email didn't highlight it. It was given in a list of symptoms. Why shouldn't men know about it? Why shouldn't women know about it? Just weirdness about info about a vagina. Wonder if the people complaining also complain about gratuitous sex scenes in Outlander or GOT or whatever. So many double standards these days. As I say to my students - if you can't talk about sex and all the bits and bobs that go with it you shouldn't be doing it. So much prudishness.

I think they could have stuck to the symptoms that might be workplace-relevant. Hopefully vaginal dryness isn't one of them.

Escapade those reactions are a result of long term shit social conditioning of men though. That's the point. We are already the others/put in age brackets/steered clear of at that time of the month/etc. That's not happened because Doris in HR sent round an email about the new tampon machine in the ladies' lav.

Well done your work place

Sounds like something my old company National Grid would do!!!!!

Op needs to repost the email here. We need exact wording.

@escapade1234,

Agree with your post mostly. There is a lot of prejudice of women going trough menopause and we don't need to give them further ammunition. Managers should be made aware of symptoms but really there is no need to such level of detail and the employees privacy should be respected. I don't want my manager to broadcast my health issues with anyone not directly concerned in any illness.

I fail to see what the menopause has to do with anyone in the workplace.
I couldn't care less about Mavis and her menopause or Pauline and her periods, You're here to do a job, either get on with it or get out.
It drives me mad when the women at work start whinging on about bellyache and what not. Take a paracetomol and shut up woman!
We all have periods!!
There's too much bloody sharing these days.

I’m not really talking about whether the menopause needed to be discussed at all (the women’s network in this company feels it doesn’t though, so really it’s their decision I think)

Why is it the women's network decision though ?

I get far too many e-mails at work, just to d with my work role. It really, really annoys me when I open e-mails that are nothing to do with work. I genuinely don't have time.

I've gone through the menopause. It really wouldn't have helped me in any way to have people reading e-mails about it.

There are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of illnesses, disabilities, mental health issues, medical conditions, stresses, anxieties, sensory difficulties, syndromes, etc etc etc in existence. There is no way you could ever cover each and every one, and - potentially as importantly - how each and every one can affect people in so many different ways and how each and every person's resiliance is different from the next person.

What any company that actually cares for it's employees (rather than organisation that wants to be 'seen' ticking some boxes) needs to do, is to make sure there is a system in place whereby any employee knows they can go and speak to someone who has the authority to make reasonable adjustments to make them as comfortable as they can in their role. They need to build up the trust between employee and colleague and employee and management to ensure that, at whatever stage in their life things are difficult for them, they know that 'work' will do their best to support them at that time.

Thanks ragged. I’ve just skimmed through that NHS wales policy and I can see that it’s a really useful, practical guide for staff and employers.

Serious work has gone into it and it’s not just a tick box exercise “raising awareness” without applying it in practical terms to actual behaviour and action in the workplace.

PanBasher, if you were flooding so badly that you would need to change tampon and maxi pad every hour and that made you so anemic that you would qualify for blood transfusion I think you would realise that you may need to let your manager know. I don't think my colleagues need to know much more than I unwell but it not as simple as a normal period. Peri menopause is not easy and I only getting this one symptom. Some people can get a proper night sleep...

The Scottish Govt are working with stakeholders to develop a set of best practice, guiding principles for employers which take account of the menopause-related health issues to ensure employers take necessary adjustments to support peri and menopausal women. This was debated at SNP Conference in a hall with 3,000 people.

Come on, this is about educating everyone (male and female) about how the menopause affects women at work. Admittedly the vaginal dryness would not affect someone’s ability to do their job but it is mentioned as a wider list of symptoms to help people to understand that they might be going through the menopause and might need support at work. Fatigue, hot flushes, memory loss are all issues and it’s good for managers to understand how this affects people at work and what adjustments can be offered. In extreme cases the symptoms of the menopause, if substantial and long term, could fall under the Equality Act as a disability and therefore require an employer to make reasonable adjustments. Most large organisations will be putting such policies and support in place

@Nearly47. Yes, let your manager know, but there is no need to announce it to the whole workplace.
Like any other medical issue that affects your work, it is between you and your manager.

Do you actually imagine someone could go through the menopause and only be alerted to the fact when that email went round at work, yummum?? 🤣
And no, menopausal symptoms do not count as a disability, seriously.