To ask if you clearly know what your 'style' is?

[ThisAintAScene]

I'm having what feels like an identity crisis as I edge closer to 30 and I just don't know what my clothing and accessory style is anymore.

When I was younger (early teens through to early 20's) I went through clear 'phases', ranging from constantly dressing head to toe in all black, the dreaded 'Scene kid' phase of bright coloured clothes and back combed hair full with a can of hair spray, to an 'indie' phase - think super high waisted jeans, trilby hats, red lipstick and lace tops, a chavvy phase (bleurgh) of fake uggs and tracksuits bottoms etc.

But now when I open my wardrobe, I just don't know who I am and what I'm about.
I've decorated my home in a kind of boho vibe I guess you could say. Patterned Nordic/Aztec rugs throughout, sea grass baskets and eccentric ornaments, an abundance of plants and cushions, copper accents here and there, very monochrome.
But my wardrobe, it's a confusing mess.

I have 50's style dresses, super ripped mom jeans, dainty tea dresses with cute ditsy flower patterns, amazing tailored jumpsuits suitable for the office or a night out, mini dresses, bohemian floaty dresses, skateboarding hoodies, Vans in abundance, some killer heels, plain tees, ridiculous tees.. the list of varied styles honestly goes on and on.

I'm tired of opening up my wardrobe and trying to put pieces together but because everything is SO different, nothing goes with one another.

I don't know how to go about finding 'my' style. Lately I've found myself edging towards the boho style - but I just don't know!

How do you find your thing?! If you can even say you have a set style, or at least, a style you lean a lot more on than others.
I want a cohesive style that mostly matches, rather than looking at my things and thinking 'what the actual fuck, none of this shit goes together'.

I think the key turning point for me was learning that what I liked wasn’t necessarily what suited me. For example, I had a bomber jacket years ago that I loved. However, I’m 5ft 11. One day I saw a photograph of myself in it and realised I looked like a teenager who’d had a growth spurt and whose parents couldn’t afford a new coat for me. I accepted that garments that are meant to be short are not meant for tall people!

I know exactly what you mean and I don't know what my style is either. I know the kind of items of clothing I go for but I don't think they could be classed as a particular style. I have had nice comments from friends and relatives that they like 'my style' or how I put together certain outfits, maybe I should have asked them what they would describe my style as since I have no idea lol. I'm 30 and clueless. Now though as long as it doesn't have dried breast milk or baby poo or wee I wear it lol.

Most people don't know what their style is. I've worked in fashion for years and the truth is some people are effortless at it and know what they like, what suits them, what works. Most people haven't a clue and they ask for help. There loads of websites, books, tutorials and you can get free online stylists on most clothing websites. What is more important is knowing which colours suit you and avoiding those that don't. Also learn your body shape - pear, apple, athletic etc and dress to suit that. Once you've done your research, stick to those principles and the rest is down to personal choice. The more you read about it the more confident you will be. Just learn about you.

There are certain things I feel better in than others, for sure.
For example, I'm not much of a plain Jane. If I wear a plain tee with jeans then I HAVE to accessorise with statement earrings and a statement bag otherwise I feel like I'm just blending in to the wall. But on the flip side, I don't like being too garish and 'out there'. I've bought a few pieces (which are still hanging in my wardrobe, unworn) which I've then tried on at home and immediately thought 'nope. Fuck this. This will draw TOO much attention to me'.

For the first time in my life I'm finding dressing myself so difficult!

Mid-30s here. I have always leaned towards a gothic stye of clothing, but it has become far less stereotypical as time went on.

It helped that as a teen and young adult I was never partcularly stylish and had a number of fails, before getting it right. I now know which shapes suit me instantly, which colours suit me and tend to build my wardrobe from there. That means I have a lot of off-blues and off-reds in my wardrobe, in addition to blacks, beiges and greys that I can easily combine with them. As a rule, no more than 2 colours, fully accessorised (I work in a school and the kids famously remark on my colour matching from my headbands down to my heels), no more than 1 pattern at a time.

Over time, I have built up a bank of outfits I am wearing, so picking out a shirt now means I know what skirt/ pair of trousers I always wear with it, and which jewellery to choose.

It's strange. I know exactly what my style is in interiors and gardens - I have a really clear, developed sense of what I like and want.

But clothes - I'm hopeless. Part of the issue is that I am currently 3 stone heavier than my mental picture of myself. It's like I have an internal me who is whip thin, and an external me who is enormously fat. The clothes I'd like to wear are just not things I can wear. I need to address this gap, because it gets me down every day.

Go through your entire clothing collection and throw away anything physically uncomfortable, not pleasing on the eye, doesn’t make you look your best - konmari it, in fact. If it doesn’t spark joy, put it aside. What you have left is your style. Build from there.

I think I’ve got better at it as I’ve aged
Try to dress to my shape first then look at classic quality pieces
I do have a penchant for bright colours though and a big thing for shoes
Today I’m in a corporate environment so for example am wearing classic black skinny ankle grazers and a black and cream check jacket but am wearing a lightweight fine knit jumper in orange and rose gold pointed flats

@downcasteyes that's a huge part of my problem too, I think! I had two children with a very small age gap and am currently pregnant again. Before my first DC was born, I was a comfortable size 8 (DC1 is 2 and a half now), but now I'm a size 16-18 and i really am struggling to admit to myself that how I used to dress, just doesn't suit my new 'mum' frame.

I know wha I like, and kind of know what suits me, I'm a bit bigger than I like to be at the moment so that does hinder me. I love a tea dress, shift dress, a line skirts, tight jeans, 70s tshirts. I am learning to buy things that go with other things too. I try to have fun, a capsule wardrobe is my idea of hell. I'm 40 btw.

@ThisAintAScene - YES! I have mentally not accepted the fact that I am larger. When I buy clothes, it's with the idea that it's somehow provisional - "I'll just get this for now, and then I will diet back into my old clothes THAT I ACTUALLY LIKE". I've not learned to dress for my weight, and I really hate everything I wear.

I would dearly love to lose weight. I think about it all the time - literally every hour of every day, but I somehow don't channel that into a plan of action. Maybe acknowledging this honestly on this thread is a good first step.

I went through some very clear phases too, I eventually gave up on having a certain style. I now buy clothes based on how much I like them and how comfortable/confident i feel in them

The biggest thing you can do is buy clothes for the life you HAVE not the life you WANT!

I have a few different actual styles combined into my personal style.

I've been through Goth, hippy, indie, trying to look professional (cough splutter pah) and basically I work on mine all the time. Also taking into consideration my size. My shape is an absolute nightmare.

I have a mixture of black band t shirts, baggyish plain coloured vests. A lot of baggy men's shirts in black or coloured checked pattern, one pair of blue boyfriend fit jeans, a few oversized pairs of men's combat trousers in black, some star wars leggings and plain black three quarter length leggings, three quarter length grey shorts, shorter grey shorts, black pinafore dresses, range of plain or band hoodies in black plus my blue uni hoodie. I have Mary Jane shoes with cat faces on the front, black skater trainers, black skechers, red converse hi tops, sunflower converse low sneakers, a pair of old new rocks, and some walking boots!

I often accessorise with a beanie hat or my skater hat (backwards, oh no!), I have flesh tunnels in my ears which I change the colour of to match my outfit (usually the shirt colour), I also have a full lot of one design of Irregular Choice accessories including a huge outrageous bag.

I can be as girly or as tomboy as I want with this stuff, it mostly mixes and matches well, leggings under pinafore dresses etc. I can spike my hair and chuck some make up on, or leave it flat or bedhead.

I avoid most patterns on clothes unless it's a checked shirt in a colour which isn't terrible on me. That way I can make sure I don't have clashing patterns or too much going on. I hate all this shit patterned stuff in the shops.

I don't know if this is helpful or useless. It's a bit early in the day for me

I work from home so prefer comfort but don't want to feel scruffy all the time either. I wear jeans and converse with a shirt and thin jumper over the top, or a longline vest under a baggier shirt on warmer days. Hot summer days I wear thin, loose harem trousers with whatever top I won't sweat to death wearing.

I prefer wearing shirts because I find them as comfortable as a t-shirt but look miles smarter.

Joining in!
For my 30th birthday I asked for a complete self overhaul. I wanted a personal shopper, stylist, hair and make up overhaul etc. Then I fell pregnant and was 8 months on my birthday.
Never mind, I thought I'd push it out to my 31st. Nope, pregnant again!

So here I am, nearing 37, hate everything in my wardrobe, am bored of my hair and face, have no idea what shape/colour/style so am. Lost is very much the word!

It seems to definitely be a 30's thing, from the looks of this thread.

I think the dressing for your shape advice is key- I have enormous knockers so anything too high necked and I look like a sofa Similarly anything too boxy and I look two dress sizes bigger. So I know that I need to emphasise my waist to counter balance boobs and arse and avoid anything that lacks a bit of tailoring.

My other piece of advice is once you find a flattering pair of jeans buy three pairs and then you've always got the base of an outfit.

OP I really don't wish to sound critical, and I do sympathise with what you say. I'm just urging you to listen to the good advice given by days and a few other previous posters. Style isn't about following someone else's trend - the list of outfits in your post sound a bit like someone putting on a series of different uniforms, chosen to fit in with other peoples' idea of what looks 'right'. . As previous posters have said, make this all about YOU - what suits your shape, your colouring, your lifestyle, your budget. If you've the time, think also about design elements such as proportion and line; think also about fabrics and colours and textures and the messages they convey.

I don't have home clothes and work clothes- I just have clothes. I have a clear style, I know by just looking at a piece of clothing if it will suit my body shape. I have a limited colour palette- used to be very limited but has expanded recently as hair has lightened with age. I don't follow fashion trends, it is rare to go for more than a couple of days without someone commenting on my clothes or asking where an item came from. All my clothes are good quality- I don't do disposable fashion.

Yes, I finally figured it out about 5 years so (then aged 44); I like to look 'put together'! Some would say boring or rigid, but I like clean lines, a good cut (whether jeans or dress) and I buy each season's clothes in a colour range so that everything 'goes' - spring 19 for me is aqua and navy.

I will keep 75% for more than a year and I buy multiples if I like something, so I now have a huge wardrobe that consists of about 5 core brands, 6 colour ranges and often-repeated shapes or styles.

I have 100 hangers. Everything except PJs and gym gear hangs. I have a 1 in 1 out policy- which really make you think about what you buy.

I think ideally, I need to bin about 70% of what's in my wardrobe and just start afresh buying a few staple pieces and building it up again around those.

It's just so bizarre for me to feel so lost. In each of the 'phases' I've been through over the last decade or so, I have felt very me, as it suited who I was at the time and things I was in too, but now it's just all over the place. Think I'm having a massive identity crisis since becoming a mother, combined with the weight gain.

Take yesterday for example. I had on a white, thin fabric, floaty playsuit with girly earrings and red suede slip on sandals. I had in a delicate gold ear tunnel and all of my tattoos were showing, but to a passer by, I would've looked quite neutral and girly, I guess.

Today though, I threw on black ripped jeans, a massively oversized black t shirt tied in a knot to make it cropped, my hair thrown up in a very messy manner with a Guess silk scarf used as a headband. Sunflower patterned Vans (with multiple holes in!), a sterling silver tribal dangle earring in one ear, a camel coloured wool coat and a Chanel bag. I look half 'going to the office' and half 'going to a gig'

I 100% agree that I need to reassess my size and pick pieces that both accentuate and hide certain parts of my body now. It's just so frustrating seeing so many people with obvious set styles and all of their outfits look amazing, and you just know that the majority stuff in their wardrobe all goes together, while I'm over here looking like I'm catering to 15 different personalities

I refer to my style as ‘I give up,’ which is simply I wear what I’m comfortable in and what works on my body. Skater dresses flatter my figure (big boobs, tiny waist) and with leggings they’re super comfortable. Today I’m in jeans and a t-shirt. The ‘I give up’ just implies that I’m not really influenced by what Monsoon and ASOS tell me is ‘in.’

I’m mid-30’s a SAHM btw :)

I’ve always had a very distinct style, and I absolutely LOVE what I own. I will only buy what I love, i wear it all. Never save it for best either. Buy at least on gorgeous piece a month and get loads of wear out of it. In Nz have always loved the local designers, above the high street, but not insanely expensive designer designer gear. Don’t wear mass produced crap. Only time I felt in a style rut was living in the uk and Ireland, never found my groove!

My style is clearly Basic Bitch, and I've finally accepted it. 30s also.