To ask if you clearly know what your 'style' is?

[ThisAintAScene]

I'm having what feels like an identity crisis as I edge closer to 30 and I just don't know what my clothing and accessory style is anymore.

When I was younger (early teens through to early 20's) I went through clear 'phases', ranging from constantly dressing head to toe in all black, the dreaded 'Scene kid' phase of bright coloured clothes and back combed hair full with a can of hair spray, to an 'indie' phase - think super high waisted jeans, trilby hats, red lipstick and lace tops, a chavvy phase (bleurgh) of fake uggs and tracksuits bottoms etc.

But now when I open my wardrobe, I just don't know who I am and what I'm about.
I've decorated my home in a kind of boho vibe I guess you could say. Patterned Nordic/Aztec rugs throughout, sea grass baskets and eccentric ornaments, an abundance of plants and cushions, copper accents here and there, very monochrome.
But my wardrobe, it's a confusing mess.

I have 50's style dresses, super ripped mom jeans, dainty tea dresses with cute ditsy flower patterns, amazing tailored jumpsuits suitable for the office or a night out, mini dresses, bohemian floaty dresses, skateboarding hoodies, Vans in abundance, some killer heels, plain tees, ridiculous tees.. the list of varied styles honestly goes on and on.

I'm tired of opening up my wardrobe and trying to put pieces together but because everything is SO different, nothing goes with one another.

I don't know how to go about finding 'my' style. Lately I've found myself edging towards the boho style - but I just don't know!

How do you find your thing?! If you can even say you have a set style, or at least, a style you lean a lot more on than others.
I want a cohesive style that mostly matches, rather than looking at my things and thinking 'what the actual fuck, none of this shit goes together'.

ThisAint the two outfits you described sound great. With two kids under 2.5 and pregnant, your outfits that you described sound varied and great. Rock girl with an edge.

Your wardrobe may be varied but that may be your style. So that you choose your outfit based on how you feel that day and though it varies, I got the rock girl vibe from both your outfits, especially if you have tattoos and cool earrings.

I have a wardrobe ful

Ignore the last sent sentence.

Chuck it all out, except for 'Basics' (plain vests, t-shirts,) or versatile things that will go with lots of other items, ie black trousers, white blouses etc.

Start on a capsule wardrobe (The Anna Edit has some useful guides on YouTube) and build it out from there.

I don't buy anything that I cant see working with the rest of my wardrobe.

Having a small selection of clothes, but clothes that go with lots of other clothes, makes getting dressed so much easier.

And it doesnt have to be all black, white or beige. You can have colours and patterns, they just need to work with the rest of your wardrobe.

Honestly, start by clearing out (be ruthless) and then you'll be able to see where you have gaps you need to fill.

Good Luck

33 here, one toddler. Getting there. So in spring and autumn I’ll always wear black jeans, a scoop neck top, black chelsea boots/ funky All Stars and a black blazer. Winter/summer a work in progress!

I need help, I have no idea what style/cuts suit me, what colours suit me etc, I don't even know what body shape I am other than fat.

I could have written this post. 30something mum of 2 small DC. I've never really found my style but wore clothes that I loved and always had lovely comments on the way I dressed. 2 DC later and +3 stone and I have no idea how to dress. I am probably the most comfortable I have ever been in my own skin. Yes, I want to address my weight but for the first time in my life I know who I am and I've never been more confident. I would love the outside to reflect the inside.

Kick our everything you never wear.Put clothes that you like but are too small in a suitcase then this out when you realise you will never fit them again/they are out of fashion.
Work out from what you have left what you need to fill the gaps and accessories as you do now.Buy less and wear it more.

Steel toe caps and hi viz.

Thanks @flirtygirl perhaps I need to cut myself some slack. I think my rapid weight gain plus three pregnancies in three years has warped my view of myself and made me question 'who' I am as an individual, rather than just a mum - maybe my style isn't so bad after all.

I would definitely describe myself as 'edgy' even though I kinda cringe at that word, ha! I have large scale dot work tattoos across my sternum, ribs and stomach, around 10 large tattoos on my legs and a couple on my arms, a stretched ear etc - I think having that alone tends to group you in the 'a little bit different' category, although big tattoos are becoming as common as primark leggings these days

I do LOVE accessorising, so maybe I'll start there first. Get myself some versatile belts, a few 'nice' bags, build up a collection of statement earrings and rings to jazz up 'boring' day-to-day outfits but also go with going out outfits. I definitely need some more basics, I'm overloaded with shoes and nice coats, but lacking in simple skirts and jeans, so I guess I could pick up some of those.

I'm definitely going to consider the 'boho' vibe though - floaty wrap skirts or light coloured denim paired with band tees/simple delicate vests, chunky jewellery, hair scarves with flowing hair etc. My home is very boho and it makes me feel happy and relaxed, so perhaps if my wardrobe reflected that I might feel a little more 'together' as a person.

I don't really have a style but since having my colours done (autumn) I have rid my wardrobe of black, blue and grey which was 90% of it. I'm a fat hourglass with boobs and bum so try to emphasise waist but not too much. If I had to go for a style it would be romantic classic, not too floaty more fitted. Love a Kimino style wrap top, I have a few of these and a midi pencil skirt. Lots of colourful clothes with simple gold jewellery, classic shoes and plain tan leather bag. It's taken me years to find my style.

Pretty féminine, smart and professional looking really. I'd rather get dressed to go to work than doss around in scruffy stuff.

At work I wear lots of dresses, heels, pencils skirts and like looking feminine but avoid looking girly.

I do wear jeans etc at weekend and this tends to be teamed with oversize shirts, roll necks. Boots I like, I suppose I go for the hipster rock look at weekends, if that genre exists!

I don't really enjoy casual summer day dressing, I feel like a scruff. BUT this summer should be easier as I've finally lost weight so can show my arms off in summer dresses a bit more.

I could have written this post at your age too. In fact my wardrobe is still very eclectic and mis matched...there is a but though.... I have learned what I like, be it tea dresses, jeans, quirky jewellery etc and I dress to my mood. Funnily enough all of my friends comment what ever I wear is very me and when we go shopping they say...ooh there's a 'blythes' buy.
Be yourself, dress in what you like, there are no rules as long as you feel comfortable in what you wear.
Confidence does come with age and I have learned to be happy with my style, bugger everyone else!
(This is the woman who still has shoe, jacket, dress dilemmas every holiday she's ever taken)

I’d say classic and very feminine is my style. Skinny jeans, cashmere cardigans or blazers. Pretty dresses, coats etc. Think Olivia Palmero or Meghan Markle. If I’m going ‘out out’ then I’ll be a bit more ‘edgy’ I guess for want of a better word and bling things up with blingy jewlery, heels etc but otherwise, just simple, classic stuff I guess.

I also know what suits my shape and what doesn’t, round necks for instance look bloody awful on me! Off the shoulder and long v neck or blouse type things suit me.

I prefer soft casual-loose tops, trousers and skirts. I can't bear anything clingy. And I usually go for plain colours, although I have a few softly patterned tops.

Where do you all buy your Boho stuff please? I love the look

I definitely know my style--classic (rather than trendy) shapes that are flattering to my particular figure, in either really lovely saturated colours or in fun patterns. I have a good selection of little black and little navy dresses. I avoid khaki and similar because they make me look like a potato, and brighter blues and greens make me happier when I get dressed.

One thing I do is, when I find a shape of dress or top I like, I buy it in multiple colours and patterns. So for example I have 7 or 8 of this boat necked shift dress and I just need to decide which colour in it I want to wear that day. Also when a new one comes out I can just order it without trying it on.

I can actually remember feeling similar to you! I love fashion and when i was younger I was more guided by trends than I am now. So at one point I did have stuff in the wardrobe that didn’t match and also stuff that realistically I would never wear again.

I’m not entirely sure how things evolved really but I don’t feel that way now... I definitely would say I know my style but it would be much more basic than yours I think. One of my friends once described the way I dress as ‘Jennifer Anniston walking through an airport’ - I was actually quite flattered by that but I reckon a lots of people would think she just wears plain tops and jeans basically! But it’s all about the quality and the nice accessories.

I think you need to start with what works on your body - once you know that everything just falls into place really as you tune out the trends that won’t suit you rather than just buying into everything that comes along.

I feel exactly the same and go through phases now and again (32) so I have two 'rules' for buying clothes. Number 1 - I have to LOVE something to buy it. When my husband and I go shopping we rate things out of 10 and if it isn't 8+ it doesn't come home with us. Secondly we work on a £1 a day theory. So for example if something I'd £30 are you going to wear it 30 times. If not then it's a no and if over then definitely.

The other advice I would give is join Pinterest and save loads of outfits and looks that you love. I was struggling and I did this and j realised I only liked white/grey/black plain and classic cut items. Whenever j saw something I thought I liked I thought about if it would fit into what my 'dream' look would look like and if not, I wouldn't buy it. 6 months on from doing this I'm starting to have a real mix and a match wardrobe of many things I love.

Not sure this works for everyone but it did for me! Good luck!

Bright, bold activewear I'm not groomed enough to be the gym bunny though.

I've had the crisis too. I'm a SAHM so most of the time comfort and practical wins. I'm generally in jeans or dungarees with a bright, plain top. I love skirts and dresses and still have lots of neglected ones hanging up from when I worked and had a social life.

I've had the same build and size since reaching adulthood so I keep clothes until they wear out. I'm small and look younger than I am and can't really find the balance between looking like a teenager and looking too old and mumsy. I can't be bothered with cosmetics, so don't have the heavily polished groomed looks that are fashionable. I'm not in an area where people are particularly stylish, more sensible so that doesn't help with inspiration either.

The other thing that hinders me is my feet which make it very difficult to complete an outfit with shoes. It's boots, pumps, birkenstocks, trainers or Mary Janes. Absolutely nothing slip on as my feet are completely the wrong shape to keep them on if I attempt to move.

I know what I’d like it to be. Most of my clothing is from Monki or Muji. Lots of trousers and dungarees from Lucy and Yak. It’s meant to be slouchy, skandi chic but 8/10 I look like a badly kitted out baby. Oh well.

I've realised being tall & no longer the size ten I was for years , tailored, fitted stuff takes inches off. I like black fitted trousers/jeans, long boots a bright fitted top with long line thin cardigan over the top for a casual look. I'm not a fan of jammy red lippy, very bright dyed red or purple hair & 1950's flowery dresses. I work in a casual dress down office & a lot of the women over 40 do that look & maybe it's them/their style, but I think it's very ageing. ( the under 40's , it's just all skinny jeans & tshirts).

I have strict control freaky rules, but they make choosing what to wear so easy.

Casual: Skinny jeans. Mostly black or navy nice tops with neutrals.
Less Casual: black or navy dress with neutrals (nice patterns are allowed!)
Formal: there's probs some kind of dress code...

Accessorise with a sparkly necklace with blusher or bronzer OR orange/red lipstick with bronzer OR raspberry lipstick with blusher.
Leather bag or shoes. Decent sunglasses.

If I do a bright accessory instead, it's yellow, teal or red, and then just bronzer for makeup.

I don't do cold colours like blue/purple/grey because I am olive and it makes me look ill.

Around 33 I had to sit myself down for a serious chat to ensure that I no longer went out wearing all the colours and makeup and shiny pretty things at once because my fashion sense was always famously horrific amongst my friends and because strangers openly laughed at my style I dragged my emo phase out until I was 27. Once when I went to visit an old friend, I overheard his housemates judging how I dressed and him trying to convince them that I was still a decent person I was wearing wooly tights, a gym skirt and a zip up hoodie as a top

That's why I need rules.