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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a vets wouldn't put down a dog unless absolutely necessary

87 replies

upthetop · 30/04/2019 01:20

So DB and DSIL have a 13 year old dog who I recently minded whilst they were away. DDog sometimes struggles to stand back up after lying down and does have lumps that the vet supposedly believes are not worth operating on due to her age. DDog did have an operation a few years ago on something (not too sure of what) that would have killed her if left untreated.

Whilst minding her she slipped and couldn't walk for a week although the vet said it wasn't broken. This has left her mobility worse than what it was. Along with the fact that although she isn't incontinent, she's started to urinate indoors, DB is planning on taking her to the vet as he feels it's not the best quality of life for her anymore.

I suppose my AIBU is would a vet put down a dog for the reasons above? I've told DB that I don't think it's fair unless necessary and they should see her through her old age but don't want to seem like I'm sticking my ore in.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 30/04/2019 01:24

I think a vet would absolutely euthanise in these circumstances, yes.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/04/2019 01:24

Of course this poor sweet dog should be put to sleep. Her mobility, never mind her dignity, is gone, and her quality of life is horrible. It's beyond comprehension that you would think she should be kept alive in this awful state.

EdtheBear · 30/04/2019 01:26

Your sticking your oar in.

Your DB and Vet need to make the right decision for the dog. You don't know why she's started wetting the floor. Nor do you know what pain she's in.

Greeborising · 30/04/2019 01:29

Oh dear that’s a really tricky one.
I am an animal lover and really anyone who cares about their pets has a responsibility to keep them safe and in old age make that decision.
I don’t think a vet would put an animal to sleep unless it was the right thing to do but obviously they will be swayed by the owners.
You are, of course, entitled to your opinion but lots of people regard their pets as ‘children’
So I suggest you keep out of it

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 30/04/2019 01:32

My SIL finally had her elderly dog euthanised last week. The poor animal had been suffering from health issues for years and the last time I saw her, she could barely walk. SIL couldn't bear to part with her, but tbh I thought it was cruel to let her continue suffering when she was clearly in pain.

I assume that vets always try to do what's best for the animal (rather than the human) and if the dog is suffering, it's kinder to let them go.

Topseyt · 30/04/2019 01:33

I think it is impossible to say without knowing the people or the dog. It cannot be decided on an internet forum.

If the vet agrees that the dog's quality of life has declined sufficiently with no realistic chance of a meaningful recovery then they might well agree that euthanasia is the best option.

Every case is different though and must be assessed on it's own merits.

I have a nearly 15 year old labrador with some of the problems you describe. His mobility and his lower spine are degenerating now due to age. Things are no longer open-ended and I know that at some point in the next few months I will have to make "that decision". I don't want to, and I don't like this, but it is what it is now and I will have to deal with it when the inevitable final decline happens.

Topseyt · 30/04/2019 01:37

Currently my Labrador is in no obvious pain and still enjoys going for short walks every day.

They are the judges, not you.

NannyPear · 30/04/2019 01:42

If an owner of an elderly dog with clear mobility and urinary issues requests their dog is euthanised as they feel they have a poor quality of life at home, of course the vet will put it to sleep. They may recommend trying alternative therapies beforehand if suitable, but ultimately the choice is with the owner and if that's not what they want to do then euthanasia is a valid option.

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/04/2019 01:49

Well they obviously understand the responsibilty of owning a pet better than you do! Sometimes it isnt about committing to an animals old age but about making the most painful decision for the owner. A person who truly loves their animal will not want to have them PTS, but will do it if it is better for the pet.

They know their pet far better than you do, and given that it is the age it is they have proven their commitment to it.

Butt out.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 30/04/2019 02:02

So the poor things mobility is compromised (probably due to pain which is a common cause in elderly animals) and it's now started being unable to hold its bladder?

That is more than enough reason to seek an opinion on being put to sleep by a vet.

Animals unlike us don't have the capacity to understand what's happening to them so it can be extremely distressing for them once these things start especially the urination because they have been taught that they get into trouble for messing the house.

Topseyt · 30/04/2019 02:15

You actually talk as though you have little experience of having elderly pets.

If I count my cat (put to sleep Christmas morning 2017) and my two now elderly dogs I have had three. You talk about seeing them through old age as if euthanasia isn't a valid option except in exceptional circumstances. I have to say though that more often than not there comes a point when the animal is no longer in a state to enjoy life, and is purely existing in a very unhappy and uncomfortable state. Euthanasia is absolutely a valid option even though it is the hardest decision we as pet owners ever have to make.

Currently, Mr. Labrador is being kept fairly comfortable with anti-inflammatory drugs and happily bimbles about on short walk daily, eager for food and eager to sun himself in the garden if the weather permits. So we aren't at that point just yet, but I am acutely aware that we will be at some point in the not too distant future.

Better a day too soon than a day too late. This isn't an easy decision for your brother and you may have come across as judgy with your comments. Don't dip your oar in. It isn't your dog, so not your decision. Be sympathetic and possibly a shoulder to cry on instead.

Alicewond · 30/04/2019 02:19

Poor DDog is suffering, I would absolutely make the decision to take to a vet and agree with whatever they think is best

Whatistheworldcominto · 30/04/2019 02:19

YABU
I have an elderly dog, she's declining and I'm playing it by ear, but she hasn't got to the stage where your DBs dog has yet. My dog is the same age and I know that I'll have to make that decision sooner rather than later.

and does have lumps that the vet supposedly believes are not worth operating on due to her age

Elderly dogs, in fact elderly anything don't react to anaesthesia well. They also don't recover well. Two vets were in agreement recently when my dog was injured - they both (emergency vet and regular vet) said that in a younger dog they'd have operated. But with her age and age associated decline, it'd likely kill her one way or another, cause more issues than it solved and I took their word because they're the experts. So it's quite likely the vet did say that. They also said they'd operate if I wanted them to but they advised not.
It's not kind to keep a suffering animal alive just because you can.

Alicewond · 30/04/2019 02:24

Plus OP please don’t judge but be there for DB instead. This is one of the hardest decisions he’ll make in his life. I know I’ve been there and done it

steff13 · 30/04/2019 02:55

I had my dog put to sleep last month. It was the hardest decision I've ever made. If someone had suggested that my decision wasn't "fair," I would not have reacted well.

Enidthecat · 30/04/2019 03:05

Euthanasia can be the kindest option for a suffering animal and the best decision for the animal's welfare. It is important to see it in that way rather than as any kind of failure by an owner. If dog is seen to be suffering, and there are no further options for the animal that are not prolonging the suffering then euthanasia is the best option and vet will recommend based on their expertise.

It is something every pet owner dreads but it is part and parcel of being a responsible pet owner.

adaline · 30/04/2019 06:45

So the dog is old, struggling to walk and barely continent?

Why on earth would you not get it put to sleep?

NoSauce · 30/04/2019 06:49

Keep your nose out!

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/04/2019 06:53

I envy how dogs and cats get end of life care

They really have it better than us on that front

Plipplopbop · 30/04/2019 06:56

I echo everyone else. It sounds reasonable. Vets don't train for years because they enjoy killing animals, dogs also have no concept of death, it's just falling asleep for them. It'll break my heart when my old dog reaches that point, but it won't break his, he'll have just lived a happy, full, loved, life, then fall asleep.

Oysterbabe · 30/04/2019 06:56

Sounds like time to PTS IMO. A vet would have no issue doing it.

tinstar · 30/04/2019 06:58

In answer to the question in your title, I think vets do put down healthy - and young dogs - when requested.

As the owner of a 12 year old Labrador with mobility, hearing and eyesight issues I will be the judge of when the time is right. While she doesn't seem to be in pain, can go for short walks, enjoys food and still wags her tail happily, we'll soldier on. If/when she has any further mobility problems, is clearly in pain which can't be managed or becomes incontinent then I will have her put to sleep. That's not for my convenience, it's because it will be the right think for the dog I've cared for since she was 8 weeks old and whom I love with all my heart.

I'll thank anyone else to keep their views to themselves. This is a deeply personal decision for your DB and DSIL. Nothing to do with you.

Butteredghost · 30/04/2019 06:59

It sounds like it is 100% necessary in this situation.

To answer your question though (which doesn't apply in this situation at all), a vet did an AMA on here a while ago and said if an owner requested euthanasia of a healthy animal, she would try to talk to them and give them other options, but if they insisted she would probably do it. The reason being concern about what the owner may do it she refused - such as try an at home euthanasia.

Maneandfeathers · 30/04/2019 07:01

I would most definitely put either of mine to sleep if they could no longer walk comfortably and wouldn’t care what anyone else thought. Being immobile is no life for a dog and neither is a life of pain. Dogs have no concept of future only present and at present this dog sounds miserable.

Better a day too soon than a day too late IMO.

DragonglassHeart · 30/04/2019 07:01

Are you worried because the fall that happened while you were minding her has possibly moved this decision along?

Accidents happen and just like with elderly people a fall can have much more serious consequences than if it happens to a younger person or animal.

It is the hardest and yet the kindest decision we can make for our animals. The biggest responsibility.

As stated above 'Better a day too soon than a day too late.'

The vet will advise the right thing to do for this particular dog by assessing her needs.

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