To think a vets wouldn't put down a dog unless absolutely necessary

[upthetop]

So DB and DSIL have a 13 year old dog who I recently minded whilst they were away. DDog sometimes struggles to stand back up after lying down and does have lumps that the vet supposedly believes are not worth operating on due to her age. DDog did have an operation a few years ago on something (not too sure of what) that would have killed her if left untreated.

Whilst minding her she slipped and couldn't walk for a week although the vet said it wasn't broken. This has left her mobility worse than what it was. Along with the fact that although she isn't incontinent, she's started to urinate indoors, DB is planning on taking her to the vet as he feels it's not the best quality of life for her anymore.

I suppose my AIBU is would a vet put down a dog for the reasons above? I've told DB that I don't think it's fair unless necessary and they should see her through her old age but don't want to seem like I'm sticking my ore in.

Better a week too early than a day too late.

Stop sticking your oar in. I think DBIL is being v sensible and brave.

I had a pony pts and received horrid messages about how unreasonable I was - it was horribly upsetting but still years later I know I made the right decision (and the vet agreed with me).

We're heading down this road with our cat. She's sixteen.
I noticed one evening one of her back legs had just stopped working. One very expensive vet visit later we were none the wiser for why, but with some anti inflammatory meds she has got somewhat better.
I had been preparing for bad news and then I set a time limit of a week to see if she improved and to see if she was in pain.
We're nearly up to the two week mark and she has significantly improved and is very mobile now, but still not 100%.
If anything else happens we'd seriously consider putting her to sleep. She's very old, hates being handled, hates being in a cat carrier (took a massive dump in it this time) and hates taking medication. I'm not going to put her through all that stress when the prognosis is likely to be poor.
It'll break my heart when the time comes, I love my cat and she's my first pet. It'll be worse to let her suffer though.

I had to put my jack Russell down 5 years ago

He was still young enough that meant he could have had a good few years left, but he started to develop Alzheimer’s.

He was very confused and would go into a corner and howl because he couldn’t work out what happened.

When we went to put him down, the vet also discovered he had very swollen kidneys which gave her the idea that he possibly had cancer

But it wouldn’t have been fair on him to have all the testing and treatment needed

So we put him to sleep.

Do I miss him? Always
Do I regret it? I actually regret not doing it sooner

As others have said, better a week to soon than a day too late. Dogs want to be clean, they don't toilet indoors unless something is badly wrong. a dog who loses the use of its back legs is likely also to lose control of its bodily functions.

Our six year old dog became suddenly very sick recently, loss of back legs and incontinence within a couple of days. An MRI scan showed an inoperable tumour. The specialist said he'd days, possibly a week of life left during which he'd continue to deteriorate very quickly, be confused and distressed as well as in pain. We had our vet out the following day and our much loved boy went peacefully to sleep in my arms. The other dogs came to say goodbye to him and were quick to lick my face and console my tears.

My comment to the vet, that I wished someone could do the same for me if I ever became so sick was one she said she heard frequently.

From reading the OP, I can only think you've little experience of end of life care for dogs.

I think it’s a perfectly reasonable decision. Ours will be destroyed when it becomes uncomfortable or incontinent - hopefully not for years yet.

Personally, I think striving for life at all costs for an animal that can’t possibly understand is unkind. Chemotherapy for a cat, surgery on a guinea pig. Etc

@Greyhound22

I have also has unkind comments from having a pony put to sleep. Had an accident with him when he was around 8 years old, he spent two years recovering and was unridable from it. At age 15 after him spending many happy years as a happy field ornament, i could no longer afford to keep 2 horses. I chose to put him to sleep with the last bit of money I had saved up and eventually my other horse was sold on. The vet agreed it was the best thing to do and said they would always consider put to sleep of a healthy animal within the current climate of not enough homes for all the pets out there. It's a sad reality of the over breeding going on for all animals we keep as pets.

No. It was the wrong word to use, but I can’t think of a quick shorthand for an animal being unhappy if it can’t keep itself clean and has started to pee on the floor after a life time of being housetrained.

Dogs definitely have something akin to, if not pride, and it is validated by how well they sit with the pack leader, how well/where they fit in the pack hierarchy. This is absolutely core to a dog's reality, they are aware of this perceived hierarchy at all times and this is why we can train them.

To put it bluntly, a dog that is a useless lump to the pack is not a happy dog at all.

I would 100% euthanise our dog if she gets like you describe. She's a very dignified girl and I would never dream of prolonging her feeling shame, and yes she does show it, just to keep the humans happy.

I find it abhorrent that we leave humans in undignified circumstances in 2019 when they have illnesses that leave them lacking in quality of life or awareness...

Op, YABU to stick your head into what must be a very difficult time for your DB and also to suggest the poor animal carry on suffering! Dogs and cats shouldn't be forced to live out their old age in pain and suffering just because their owner can't bare with putting them down. A good owner knows when the time is right to say good bye. Don't even think of questioning your DB's choice on this, it will just make him feel even worse and more hurt than he probably already it.

A vet would euthanise in these circumstances. Our dog was 13 and although hadn't got a specific illness, had no quality of life. Didn't want to go for walks, struggled to get up from lying down, was getting incontinent, and wasn't eating well. It was a difficult decision to make as she still wagged her tail and enjoyed a fuss, but after discussions with my vet we decided she wasn't getting much out of life anymore. Broke my heart but looking back I think we kept her going for longer than we should have.

It is an horrendous decision to have to make and your DB would be absolutely right to make it in these circumstances. I had to have both cats PTS within a couple of months. Dcat1 was suddenly violently sick. When I saw the colour and smelt it, I knew the end had come. I took him to the vet and they ran bloods while I waited and then said they had found a lump in his abdomen. The vet said, reluctantly, that they could try meds, but I refused. He was 15. The night before, when I came home, I thought he'd looked uncomfortable, but then he leapt to his feet and demanded his tea, so I assumed it was just hunger. I had him PTS there and then. I went home and cried all over the remaining cat, the dog, and down the phone to various people.

Three months later, I took his brother down to the vet and had him PTS. He had various health issues with thyroid problems and stomach problems and he had been pining for his brother. While he could have gone on for a while longer, I didn't want him to deteriorate further. He was no longer enjoying life. It broke my heart, but he purred to the end as I held him.

It sounds, OP, as though you have never been in this position, and I would advise you not to get a pet, since you appear incapable of understanding that this is the last act of love you can show for a beloved pet. It is definitely not the easy option and you should indeed mind you own business and wind your neck in.

Having a pet who has reached their time PTS is the last kindness an owner can do.

It’s not the same as a human who has the ability to understand what’s happening to them, why they can’t do the things they used to be able to. To keep the dog alive when it’s mobility is all but gone is beyond cruel. As a previous poster alluded to - better a week too soon than a day too late.

Sounds like the dog is at the point of PTS. She sounds distressed and in pain. 13 is a good age and PTS can be the kindest option. You don't sound like you have much of a clue to be honest.

Please support your DB and SiL, this will be a heartbreaking decision for them. They really don't need a family member judging them for loving their pet enough to do the kindest thing.
Big hugs to anyone else in a similar situation at the moment.

OP you have no idea. None. I've had to make the decision, and I made it for my darling elder statesman and against the wishes of my own heart. If I could have given a year of my life to save him, I would have. You don't get to make those bargains, and leaving him to suffer so I could have him with me would have been the worst thing in the world.

OP, some people are being harsh but I do agree with the overriding sentiment that as a doting owner to a wonderful loving furry companion, you suffer double just to see them in pain and distress. Literally, you see them struggle to get up and you physically feel the pain with them. Knowing that many animals will try hard to disguise their pain means you feel it all magnified. It’s just awful, unbearable.

It is a huge privilege to be able to spare them the worst of their suffering and so yes, PTS for the situation you describe is the way to go. It is so much kinder.

The owners must be feeling so upset just now. I have a young dog, but I always say that when his mobility goes, or he becomes incontinent then I'd have to consider if it's the kindest thing to keep him alive. The owners I know who have gone through it say that they just knew by looking at the dog when it had had enough.

Currently trying to read through all these but I think some of you are being a bit harsh. I'm not trying to forbid him from putting down their dog and would support him either way. I was just asking whether a vet would euthanise in these circumstances. I know it differs from pet to pet but I've had cats live to 19 and a dog to 15 so I do have experience with elderly pets.

some of these responses. As I've said I have had elderly pets and have taken them to be put to sleep when they were really were on their last legs. I am aware however that they may deteriorate at different rates so thank you all for your input and advice.

When our beloved cat went dramatically downhill I asked the vet what she’d do if it were her. She didn’t hesitate to say she’d put her to sleep. It’s a horrible thing to have to do but sometimes the only thing if you love your animal. I wish I could have had that option for my poor mum.

OP don't you consider these circumstances to be "absolutely necessary"? Not being able to stand/walk and wetting herself - your DB is right its no quality of life for the poor thing. As PP have said, you don't know what pain the animal is in. Leave it for the vet to decide, I am sure they will euthanise bearing in mind it seems a pretty miserable existence.

The thing is, we don't need to leave an animal until it's on its "last legs". Euthanasia isn't just to save them from their final couple of days before they die a (often) horrible natural death. Just because it's eating, drinking and can get around doesn't mean it's not suffering significantly. I've seen animals suffer for months needlessly before bringing them in to get PTS. And I can categorically say that the vast majority of people regret leaving it too late rather than doing it too soon.

Waiting til they are on their last legs can be unbelievably cruel. I hate this euthanasia is a last resort attitude. Animals don’t do “comfortable old age” sitting in front or the fire reading, watching telly and chatting to their grandchildren, putting up with the arthritis because of the other compensations of life. They only know pain and frustration and confusion and worry.

I think 13 is considered elderly for most dogs.

Vets will also euthanise a pet if requested and there doesn’t need to be a health reason. Sadly this country has far more dogs and cats than homes and lots of rescue centres are full to capacity and if someone doesn’t want their pet or their circumstances change so they can’t keep it, a vet can and usually will put it down - eg charities like RSPCA put down a large number of healthy animals purely because there is nowhere for them to go.

Old dog 18 suddenly deteriorated over a week, urinating in her bed, so I was bathing her and giving her a blow dry daily, couldn’t figure out how to walk through a door, having to put food in my hand to feed her as she forgot how to eat, then her back legs went one evening. Took her to the vets the next day- dementia. I came out without her. It was for her and her quality of life.