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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Stitch came out now I feel ruined

60 replies

b0bb1n · 29/04/2019 06:09

Cross-post due to traffic here...

Have to be brief cos got restless newb on me. Gave birth 2nd April, needed I believe 3 stitches. Baby needed to stay in 3 days as Cleft Lip n palate and I became unwell due to birth n had catheter very very weak etc so spent lot of time on bed having to carefully slide bum across bed to get/put down baby. Was worried how would affect stitches.

Realised few days later top stitch nearest v opening had come loose, now completely out. Seems to have healed fine BUT now am left with a much larger opening ! I can see the opening!

Have been rly feeling upset about it cos I so want to have sex with husband again I miss that intimacy but now I don't want to because of this. Dreading it. It won't feel good for him with an opening like that!

Pls what can I do? I'm so gutted. I did tell the mws about the stitch coming loose n out but they just said it will heal it's fine (it did heal) but now I am left with a giant opening!!! sad seriously has anyone else had this happen? And can I get it fixed?

Today 05:39 b0bb1n

I should prob clarify that when I say it's healed I mean it isn't sore or bleeding any more but due to the stitch coming out and larger opening it seems the two sides that stitch was meant to pull together healed separately. I really can't imagine ever letting my husband see me there again let alone doing it. I want to ramp up my pelvic floor exercises but now I keep thinking that's all well n good but with an opening I can fully see it will never feel the same.

should prob clarify that when I say it's healed I mean it isn't sore or bleeding any more but due to the stitch coming out and larger opening it seems the two sides that stitch was meant to pull together healed separately. I really can't imagine ever letting my husband see me there again let alone doing it. I want to ramp up my pelvic floor exercises but now I keep thinking that's all well n good but with an opening I can fully see it will never feel the same.

OP posts:

Pepperwand · 29/04/2019 10:59

The newborn anxiety is tough, I was exactly the same. Constantly worrying about how much he was feeding, checking he was still breathing etc etc. You're still getting used to having this prescious, helpless little person in your home and in your life, it completely changes everything! I still check in on him now and check he's breathing before I go to bed and he's five! Worry is very normal so please try not to stress too much and know that most mums have been exactly where you are but if you feel that the anxiety is getting too much do speak to your HV or GP.

Meangirls36 · 29/04/2019 11:05

Omg please don't worry at all in the slightest. No man on the planet has ever complained or cared about this.

Badtasteflump · 29/04/2019 11:09

Ah OP like a previous poster has said, this thread has reminded me how fragile and scared I felt after my first baby. I actually went to my GP a couple of weeks after the birth as I had convinced myself something was growing down there that shouldn't be - it turned out it was just that everything was a bit more 'on view' than it had been before giving birth -but I didn't have a clue .

Don't beat yourself up for feeling anxious, be kind to yourself and give yourself lots of time to get used to the huge changes you've just been through. It's hard to get some rest with a new baby, but whenever you can, do. I also found going for long walks with the pram in the fresh air helped clear my head a lot.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 29/04/2019 11:11

I'm sure it's fine but can you not feel close to your dh in other ways? It's very early days and you sound so anxious about it. Everything takes time to settle down.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 29/04/2019 11:11

Congratulations btw 😊

ElevenOhFive · 29/04/2019 12:29

The same thing happened to me - one of my stitches burst about 7 days PP, and because of recurring infections it was felt it would be better not to re-stitch it as that would cause more harm than good. At the time I thought it looked horrendous. I really thought it would never heal properly, and found the recurring infections and discomfort more challenging than the birth itself - but I can happily tell you that five months later things are back to normal completely 😊

Howshelaughed · 29/04/2019 18:27

It's very early days. I'm so sorry to say your undercarriage will never go back to looking as it did. I nearly died when I looked. It was pure black & purple with bruising. I wish I hadn't looked but I now understood why I couldn't sit on any hard surface! This is you now so you need to embrace it, unless it's really severe & they offer you a designer vagina (absolute crap, believe me). I still to this day have no idea what they did down there to make it so called designer. Anyway, I digress... All the worry & anxiety is completely normal also. This little one is now your entire world. It's frightening & all consuming but should also be wonderful. It should pass. If it doesn't & you start to isolate yourself please talk to your GP. My HV was rubbish but if you feel she's got the common sense & compassion then talk to her also. I really feel for you but it honestly will get better. I hope you have great family & friends to surround you.

YukoandHiro · 29/04/2019 18:44

All I can say is they stitched me too tight after an episiotomy and sex is now very very uncomfortable (sometimes agony) so honestly would rather be in your position. They won't fix me as planning to have a second baby so it will all get destroyed again.

theWarOnPeace · 29/04/2019 18:55

I popped a few stitches just a couple of days after the birth and they said they couldn’t redo them. I was devastated and was so sore and freaked out that I didn’t look for ages. When I did look I was even more distressed. Turns out, it was just swollen and stretched and messed up by the actual birth and the healing. It’s gone back to normal I would say now. I genuinely thought it was the end of my sex life, but that’s not he case at all! It feels awful because it’s still fresh and recent. It will calm down and start to look less scary very soon.

Trebla · 29/04/2019 20:39

Enjoy your baby. I remember how confused I was learning how to care for a cleft baby, grieving the loss of a BF relationship and pumping 8 times a day while parenting my bigger 2. When he failed his newborn hearing screen I went into a tailspin. It's a different pathway but well journeyed by others so care pathways are clear and helpful. Good luck. Take your time and try to take each day as it comes.

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