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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you know you love him?

46 replies

Zoella8 · 27/04/2019 20:42

As the title says ... how do you know you love someone? How? What should I ask myself to get a clear answer ?

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 27/04/2019 20:45

Can you imagine old age with them

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 27/04/2019 20:47

I look forward to him coming home every day and am always happy to see him. The thought of not having him would devastate me. And he's the person I'd choose to spend all my time with over others, anytime.

Herja · 27/04/2019 20:54

His voice made me feel like I was warm; he could calm me down in one sentence. I could imagine an old age with him, I couldn't before or after. I would do anything in my powere to help him or cheer him up, as he did for me. Just watching him dance around the kitchen was an excellent evening. I could talk to him for hours and hours every single day about fuck all. He made me feel utterly peaceful in a way no one else ever has. And now he's gone, I realise that no one but my children's death could hurt so much; my dad's was bad but his was like a living nightmare I'm still not awake from. With him I could take on the world, without him it all seems pointless.

Notjudesmum · 27/04/2019 21:01

I feel safe with him. He knows how to cheer me up on the worst days and there’s nobody else I’d rather spend my time with. Seeing him happy makes me happy. There isn’t a single thing in the world I wouldn’t do for him and I know he’d do anything for me. Butterflies and a racing heartbeat are amazing....but someone sitting up with you at 3am holding your hand and stroking your forehead when you can’t sleep beats that hands down.

RomanyQueen1 · 27/04/2019 21:04

When you can't live without him.
It's easy to live with someone, but impossible to live without them if you love them.

NoHolidaysforyou · 27/04/2019 21:15

Think about how you would feel if that person died.

Would you feel sad but be able to move past the grief/slowly forget? Or would that person be in your thoughts until the day you die?

SimonJT · 27/04/2019 21:18

You’ll do things you know are a bit ridiculous, like picking them up from the airport three times in one week so you can see them an hour earlier.

The thought of them not being around makes you feel physically sick.

YouJustDoYou · 27/04/2019 21:19

My body and heart, independent of thought, actually felt pained an ditched horribly when I wasn't with him. We needed to fall asleep with a part of us touching. We spookily knew what the other was thinking after just a few weeks. Almost 20 years later and still we make each other laugh when we know the exact random thing the other was thinking.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 27/04/2019 21:23

I always picture him in my life, my future planning always involves him. I miss him when he’s gone. I forgive things in him that I’d not forgive anyone else. He makes me kinder to people but frustrates and challenges me. We laugh but oh how I could kill him at times.
I could leave him only for the sake of my child but I wouldn’t replace him. I will think of him for the rest of my life.

bourbonbiccy · 27/04/2019 21:31

I still get butterflies with my hubby. We are just meant to be together, he is like a part of me.

I simply could not imagine my life without him, I want to be with him forever. I look forward to every day as I know he is in it.

He makes me laugh, he loves me unconditionally and I him, I can just be myself with him. I trust him with my life. We have nothing to prove to each other.

Gillian1980 · 27/04/2019 21:41

He makes me feel safe, happy and accepted. My life is better for having him in it. I don’t want to be without him and miss him While he’s away. He created children with me and is a good dad. I can’t imagine growing old without him. I fancy him and we’re compatible in most areas: humour, interests, sex, politics, values etc.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/04/2019 21:42

That’s beautiful YouJustDoYou, you’re both very lucky and it’s heartening to hear someone say they feel the way I do about my husband after so much time. I can’t imagine not feeling as I do now but so few people sound as happy as you do so I hope ours lasts Smile We do the same with feet! We have a newborn and I go to sleep with my hand next to her in her cot and my feet in between DHs, connected and cosy and complete.

OP, I feel truly at home when he puts his arms around me, when I can smell his neck, wherever we are. He’s my favourite person to spend time with. Whatever happens, and we’ve been through some stuff over the years, if we’re together I know it’ll be okay. We can sit in silence for hours and feel at peace. We can and do talk about everything. He makes my heart beat faster and gives me butterflies. He’s the most attractive man I’ve ever seen and he’s getting better with grey hairs and laughter lines. He makes me feel beautiful when my hair needs a wash and I’m wearing my baggy pyjamas. I’m the best version of myself with him. When you know, you know. Since I realised I loved him I haven’t doubted it for a second.

Amanduh · 27/04/2019 21:44

He makes me happy.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/04/2019 21:44

Oh Herja that’s made me tear up. But what a love to have had Flowers

Greeborising · 27/04/2019 21:48

If you have to ask
You don’t

Silvercatowner · 27/04/2019 21:57

We're oldsters. Secretly and very selfishly, I want to die before him because I'm not sure how I'll cope without him.

user1473878824 · 27/04/2019 21:59

Oh @Herja. What a wonderful love to have had. I’m so sorry xx

Singlenotsingle · 27/04/2019 22:30

He's always in a good mood, never grumpy or cold. He's kind to people, children and animals, generous with his time, thoughtful, quiet, loving. Never mean or hurtful. Does his bit around the house, cooks, cleans and makes the tea. And he's good looking!

Chocolate1984 · 27/04/2019 22:32

I think if you have to ask yourself you aren’t in love. Love is a feeling that consumes you and when you are in love you know.

Echobelly · 27/04/2019 22:32

When you often think 'I wish they were here' when you're without them

Fiveredbricks · 27/04/2019 22:34

Oh @herja 😭 I wish I could hug you right now. To have lived that love ❤️ the pain must be so much.

FromageFrais · 27/04/2019 22:35

Every second of every minute of every day they are on your mind.

FromageFrais · 27/04/2019 22:36

@herja i am so so sorry youre going through this Flowers

Fiveredbricks · 27/04/2019 22:40

He felt like 'home'. His voice was like a wave of peace and just one smile or one kiss could reset me like an on off switch. He was, and I feel, still is my 'person'. Even though we're not together.

Sadly, I haven't felt that level of calm with anyone else since. Not even with my DH 😳 (who is eating cheesecake so loud in bed right now I want to smother him with my book 🤢 - might get divorced soon to be fair).

MrsDilligaf · 27/04/2019 22:42

My DH is amazing, he's kind, compassionate, generous and funny. He's given me the greatest gift ever - our daughter, he's been my rock, and is my best friend. I miss him when we're apart. He is my heart and home. I love him and always will.