To suggest full time work even if it means less money?

[DM1209]

Please help to settle a debate and also offer advise. My best friends daughter, we'll call her Casey, has 3 young children, is a lone parent (abusive ex-husband) and hasn't worked in the last 5 years. My best friend and her family have always been there, supported Casey and really made sure that she and the children were never left feeling alone or unsupported.

Casey is a really smart girl and a few months ago she came to me to ask about returning to work. She has a law degree that she's never used and my profession is Legal. She said she wanted a job that will offer her security and long term progression. She asked me to find out if there were any junior roles at my Law firm or any other firm that she could apply to. She just wanted an idea of where to begin.

I told her there were a few junior roles going and she simply needed read up on them and apply. She also spoke to her mum (my BF) and was told it was a waste of time as she's never been in a professional legal environment, they wouldn't employ her and she should wait until the kids were older. When my BF asked me, I told her Casey had nothing to lose so we should encourage her and build her confidence and that's where it was left.

Fast forward and through no input from me Casey not only applied, got given an interview and then got offered a job, I could not be prouder of her!!! And she knows this. Her confidence was at rock bottom and she still can't believe she got the job. She is so excited and really wants to go ahead.

Now, here's the argument. My BF is upset that Casey's starting salary is so low and that financially she will struggle more working than she does now. She also feels I should speak to the partners at the firm and suggest an increase in her starting salary, this will not be happening. My BF has been a SAHM all her life so I appreciate that she may not quite get that you can't dictate salaries especially when coming in at a junior level with zero experience.

I've told my BF that Casey has been offered a position within a one of the top firms in our region, she has her foot through the door and while the salary is very low, she will be starting a career with real scope for progression. Her pay is reviewed 4 months in, the firm are red hot on employee retention and if she works hard she could even get a training contract out of it (we only offer them internally) while doing her LPC part time. Her youngest is going into full time school this year and it's the ideal time for her to start building a career, slow and steady and the firm itself are hugely pro-active when it comes to a work life balance (Commercial law and we all have kids we want to get home to!)

Casey's salary will he £17,000 full time and her ex-husband pays maintenance for their kids too. I think she'll get financial help for childcare and perhaps even working tax credits? Does anyone know what help would be available?

She is desperate to improve her life and yes it is very little money for full time work but she could do so well for her future. What financial support would be available to her if any? And how can I encourage my BF to be supportive of her child? Or am I living with my head in the clouds and condemning this girl to a lifetime of low paid work and no life along with it!? Is this not a good an opportunity as what I think it is? Is she better off at home waiting for the children to be older? They're all primary school age now.

She would be batshit to lose an opportunity like this.

I think so too Prequelle! It's just amazing to see how shocked she still is that she got offered a job! She's a wonderful person and I think she'd really excel.

Sometimes you have to take the short term financial hit. But this opportunity sounds fantastic.

Tell her to get on the gov.uk website to check what working tax credits she would be entitled to as well. It all helps.

What Prequelle said. She needs to think about the long term, especially if, as you said, she might even be able to get a training contract out of it. Opportunities like these are gold dust.

You mentioned Casey spoke to you about returning to work... implying she already had a job before?

It’s tough but she’s got to take it. I did it when my DS was younger. Still not on mega bucks but a reasonable wage with good NHS pension and associated benefits. Sometimes you just have to suck it up.

I'd be encouraging her all the way. I'd be horrified if my children had their own offspring then didn't work to support them or pay back the loans they took to study with.

Agreed it’s a fantastic opportunity and she should grab it with both hands. Such a shame her mum isn’t encouraging her. She’s lucky to have you, you sound like a fab support and a great role model

There are no more tax credits for new claimants. It's all Universal Credit now but she may be entitled to help with childcare.

I think her mum should be proud of her and be thinking of the bigger picture. If it’s as you say, it’s a good firm to work for and there is chance of progression. She won’t always be on £17k.

Do you think the mum is concerned about being used for childcare perhaps or is she always like this

There’s a really helpful website ‘entitled to’ which she can enter all her info and she’ll find out what she’d get. But agree she’d be nuts to turn it down.... you have to start somewhere

Aah thank you all for confirming what I thought. Yes she had a part time job as a Receptionist when she first got married but she gave it up after their first child.

I know she gets child tax credits, she's very honest about her circumstances and is just desperate to improve her life. Her ex-husband left her in quite a state so she's had to really work on her confidence. With universal credit, would she need to speak to the same department as tax credits? My apologies for probably what seem silly questions, I just want to equip her with as much knowledge as I can so she feels like she has some control over her situation and she can hold her own. I'll be damned if I let her fall back into submission, even if it means upsetting my BF.

She will be entitled to financial help. Definitely worth it, with supportive family who can help with school holiday childcare and perhaps before/after school.

she will be better off if she works even on a low salary. There will be top ups with working tax credit/universal credit, childcare element etc. I have been in a not too dissimilar situation not too long ago. I sound like a DWP spokesperson but work does actually pay not to mention the long term prospects.

Does she not intend to take the job? Shame that her family isnt more supportive. They should be proud!

Prequelle, that's a REALLY good point regarding childcare, I hadn't even thought of that.... see, this is why it's always great to tap into Mumsnet for advice!! I'm assuming Casey would get some help with childcare....my BF and her have a awkward relationship so I don't think Casey would ask her mum to help in that way. I could be wrong though.

If she wants that particular career she's got to take it of course. The mother as you rightly say doesn't understand how salary negotiations work, as she's never had a job. Also is probably under the common misconception that solicitors are all super highly paid.

That said, I think it's ok to see this as a bit of a bum rush. It's not really great for someone with the extent of responsibility outside of work she has and no second income from a partner to put herself and her kids through the upheaval and change in family routine that a responsible professional job involves for not much more money than if she was on the checkout at Tesco. Yes the prospects may be good, but she's not there yet and needs to prove herself and it will be hard with three kids on her own. Law is, unlike teaching and medicine, extremely poorly paid in a lot of the early years, I think as a hangover from when it was considered a gentleman's occupation and money wasn't a consideration. It's also now still a handy way of excluding people who don't have access to large amounts of family money.

I may be completely wide of the mark here, but is BF to some extent enjoying having her daughter and grand children relying on her so much and is feeling a bit pushed out by this sudden display of independence? It is so obviously such a fantastic opportunity, I can't otherwise see why she isn't way more supportive and encouraging.

She really wants to take the job, I think she will. I just wanted to arm her with some information as to support to get her back into work. I think my BF is coming from a good place and thinks it's too much of a risk for her child, low income etc, so it's the safer option to stay as she is. I disagree but then thought perhaps I'm out of touch and being a working parent myself, perhaps I'm being biased.

General consensus here is it seems not and she should take this opportunity.

On a salary of £17k she would be entitled to quite a bit of help.
I'm a full time working single parent earning more than that and I do.

Also she would be crazy to miss the opportunity. She also would be able to secure a future for her family, build some pension etc.

Or maybe they'll just keep her as a junior on the same wage? It happens. If she did the LPC would they fund it? Even if they did, that's studying part time, working full time, running a household and raising a family, by herself, for another two years on a low wage.

On a salary of £17k she would be entitled to quite a bit of help.
I'm a full time working single parent earning more than that and I do.

Under UC that 'quite a bit of help' is largely restricted to assistance to pay for childcare, up to 85%, but this is a really good opportunity with chance for progression and the starting salary is just that so she should definitely go for it.

she will be better off if she works even on a low salary

There is a need to be careful with this. She will have more money coming in, yes. But she will also have more going out and if she is in a part of the country where rents are high and childcare is particularly expensive, she could well be considerably worse off. Of course, there is the long term view and this is an opportunity that will, without doubt, help secure a much improved future for the family. Short term, she may well need family support to get by - and problematically, the family appears unsupportive at some level. Hopefully she will find a way through it.

I think she is very lucky to get the job given her lack of experience and should grab the opportunity with both hands as long as she can make it work.

Definitely go to 'entitled to' to check what help she can get. The point of UC is that you're always better off in work (with the exception of disability etc). I've just recently switched from 'legacy benefits' to UC voluntarily as I'm slightly better off although claiming childcare costs back is a bit of a faff this way. On £17k with children she should be entitled to some of the housing element, 85% of childcare costs and possibly some living costs