Wedding and new baby

[nononononononoyes]

Hi all! After a couple of bits of advice if possible please :-)

Dh and I have been invited to a wedding in June. I'm due our first baby 12th May so realistically baby will be about 4/5 weeks old. We have been invited to the whole day. Originally we thought we were just going to be invited to the evening as although the couple are our friends they are not close close friends who we see on a regular basis. Very happy we have been invited to the full day 😊 when we thought it was just the evening we discussed it together and I said dh could just go on his own (he has known the groom since childhood but we are all now friends) then come home or stay at a hotel, the venue is about 45 mins from our house and I'll be ebf (hopefully!) and I also don't think I'll be ready to leave baby with anyone that soon.

Anyway! Now we have been invited to the day I am not really sure what to do. My first thought was fine we will all go, I'll obviously leave ceremony etc if baby is fussing/awake and then we will stay at the venue on the night so I can take baby up to bed while dh stays to party 🥳.

However two things!

1. baby is not mentioned on invite- it says mr and mrs nonononoyes. I think this is because she isn't born so obviously it's a bit daft to put plus unborn child 😂 but don't want to be cheeky by presuming it's okay to bring her? Is it okay to drop a quick text to the bride asking if babies are okay to come? Or will I end up on a thread here?

And 2) dh thinks taking a 4/5 week old baby to a full day wedding will be a disaster. I think she will probably sleep through most of it but haven't had a baby before so wanted some opinions :-) also if we have booked a room at the venue it means I can escape with her if/when she needs changing/feeding etc or is crying too much.

Any opinions would be great but please don't flame me too much 🙈 I know wedding threads tend to be heated! I'm not daft enough to just presume it's okay to bring baby and I'm also not the type to sit and let baby scream during the couples special moments :-)

DS was BF an hour on an hour off, pretty much 24/7 at that point no way would I have been able to go to a wedding, formula feeding maybe as they are more predictable. Also if you go two weeks over he might only be two weeks old, I was in hospital for a week so would've been going to a wedding a week later, and honestly at that point of I needed to pee it was immediate and my stitches we still pretty sore, much better now, good old pelvic floor exercises. Stick to the original plan and stay home

Honestly 4 weeks post partum you wont fancy a full day wedding. I was a mess for weeks after my first - let alone still bleeding loads and recovering from my c section and an emotional wreck I barely left the house. and I'm a laid back gunho sort of mum. Dont do it to yourself, send DH you stay home with the baby.

Definitely not for all the reasons mentioned - BF constantly, feeling fat and tired.

Shocked that a PP was so idiotic as to drag a newborn on a 5 hour car journey when they are not even supposed to be in a car seat for More than 30 mins.

Shocked that a PP was so idiotic as to drag a newborn on a 5 hour car journey when they are not even supposed to be in a car seat for More than 30 mins.

Get over yourself. The 30 minute advice is relatively new.

Just ask them. We're in same situation, wedding end of June and baby coming end of May. Friends of my dh. We sent them a message saying that we'll have a nursing baby at that point and would they mind if we bring her, but that we understand if not. We said we will obviously leave the older child at home with his grandma.

Friends replied to say it's absolutely fine. I will sit at back and leave the room if baby starts to fuss, but at that point baby will likely just sleep or feed through it.

We had a child free wedding ourselves apart from infants, and the two babies who were there were no bother at all, they just slept or fed. I have some beautiful photos of them and it was lovely to have them and their parents there.

some babies are late. mine were over 2 weeks late.

I would check with the bride and see if you can keep your options open nearer a date. baby may arrive on time/a few days early via normal delivery or may be late with EMCS. you would feel totally different about attedning in the later case. and you really won't know today what kind of labour and when it will happen.

I'd just check. We had a couple of young babies at our wedding and it was no problem as they're not eating or taking up a seat so there's no extra cost. Have also been in your position and had DS 2 weeks before a friends wedding. We just checked with them and they were fine with it. The only issue we had was some guests being a bit 'merry' and wanting to hold DS had us on pins.

If another friend is bring a 2 month old you know at least that they are not against babies coming, fine to text - maybe DH text the groom as they are closest

I have done all day weddings with dd at 7 wks and ds at 12 wks and it was fine. They slept a lot.

I would say the 2 essentials are a breastfeeding friendly outfit and definitely book a room. Great for time out, nappy changes and somewhere to put baby stuff

Ha ha! My newborn who went on the 5 hour journey (actually 5 hours driving broken up by 3x hour long stops to breastfeed so 8 hours altogether) is a strapping 19 year old now. There was no advice about car seats back then. He often slept better in his car seat than anywhere else. Advice was also to start weaning at 4 months. That didn’t seem to harm him either...