To think that a potty in any room besides the bathroom is gross?

[concernedforthefuture]

With the exception of the very early days of potty training (i.e the first couple of weeks when you get zero warning that they need it now ), AIBU to think that it's gross and unnecessary to have potties in living rooms / kitchens / bedrooms ?
Surely once your child is trained, they can hold it long enough to walk to the bathroom to use the potty ? It never occurred to me to have one anywhere else in the house besides alongside the loo when my DC trained, but having recently visited several friends and family with toddlers (who have been trained for months), it seems it's now the norm to have your small child do their toilet in the family rooms. Even worse, the parents don't rush to empty it either . (I can see that if you're busy feeding a newborn it might be easier for the toddler to use the potty nearby, but none of these families had small babies).

Some people on this thread are so far up their own arses!!

I never even put my son on one, never even got him one. He went straight on the toilet. I don't see the need for a potty at all really

My DC had a toilet phobia. Plus he wouldn't want to go to another room in the early stages, but he would stop what he was doing for a few seconds to use potty.

Also handy to get them trained for a potty in case that's the only option. Like needing a poo on a walk or in a carpark. Travel potties are so useful.

Someone people train on potty, then let DC become independent at using it rather than need assistance with the big toilet.

Babies/toddlers are full of shit, piss and puke.

I can't get fussed over a potty outside of a toilet.

Meh. What others do in their own homes on this point hardly impacts you.

However as the mother of a child who has recently potty trained but doesn’t like toilets much, a child pooing in a potty really reminds you what a brilliant invention the flush toilet was at keeping smells down.

We still have ours out - got rid of the upstairs one ages ago but the downstairs one has stayed. No idea why it’s there but it doesn’t bother us. I’m not a squeamish person at all so I’ve no issues with it. I actually think she’s attached to it now 😂 she might cry if it goes. However, her cousin is potty training and comes round a fair bit so I’ll probably keep it out.
Hosted lots of play dates when she was a baby and been on lots and all of us changed nappies in sitting rooms as doing so in bathrooms would be ridiculous and involve doing so on the floor.

If mine were in the bathroom, they'd just use the toilet instead. There wouldn't be any point in a potty in a room that also had a bog. I wouldn't want a potty in a carpeted area, but we have floorboards.

I think it is fine to have it wherever is most convenient for your house configuration. Have had friends with a downstairs (large) loo who insisted on bringing the potty to the centre of the living room/kitchen when we were invited round. Always felt rather strange turning the act into a spectator sport.

dd was a struggle to train even at 3, with poos in her pants for absolute months and left wees til the v last second.

with no downstairs loo it would have been a ridiculous distance to get upstairs from the garden and living room in time.

pinki was thinking the same.. I’m so sick of the competitive parenting/adulting.. we all do things differently that’s what makes humans amazing
My dc used potty’s for varying reasons. I don’t question why some parents children didn’t use a potty while training.. Fuck off

Don't people use gates on their stairs? We did, so DS wasn't able to just go upstairs to use the toilet. Plus he'd often be playing then announce he needed to go now

As for changing nappies in the living room, given that when there was a poonami it would already be everywhere what difference would it make? In fact carrying him upstairs would be more likely to spread the mess. And one of the cats is getting old and craps on the carpet sometimes so between all that the downstairs carpets have been shampooed regularly over the last five years!

It's so lovely to hear that some of you had such easy straight forward times toilet training your children.
It may surprise you to know that not everyone has the same experience.
Some journies to being toilet trained are harder than others!
Some parents use potties and put them in different rooms because that is what works for them and their children.
I don't really care how gross anyone else finds it.

Voiceofreason, here here!
I think I'd be forever washing pooey pants if my dd hadn't had her potty in a relaxing environment away from the big scary toilet

For the comments along the lines of **"Just get a step and use the loo. The whole potty thing is totally pointless faff." - my kids were both so small that despite my eldest not being able to manage training anyway, both would manage to get stuck with their bums through kid seats on actual toilets. And toilets are huge and noisy when flushed, can be quite frightening for young kids.

For comments along the lines of **"Potties are foul wherever they are! If a child can't hold it the 30 seconds it takes to get to the bathroom, they aren't ready." - how about for the kids who are ready but have communication issues. I've mentioned my eldest, but both of my kids had speech delay, my youngest at 8 still does. But she could walk to the potty to sit on it. Which was great communication.

FYI, both my kids have special needs. But they are both only being diagnosed now. It was obvious but where we lived, there wasn't anything they could do, before. Funding, post code lottery, you name it. You do what you can and if having a potty works for some, then it's none of anyone else's business. Not to mention that not all kids are perfect and train straight away. There's also regression. And for those who have the ability to stay home over a two or three week period to do intensive training, great! The rest of us who need to go to town or get older kids to school or visit the bank etc, potties are a lifesaver. I used the travel ones with the throwaway bit. Improvised and made my own cheap biodegradable ones out of food recycling bags and a kitchen towel inside. Specially useful with my eldest having bowel problems which affected all areas of toileting.

I guess this thread has just hit a nerve because it read very much like "oh if my precious Ptolemy and Tarquin could go straight to the water closet, then so can your offspring". And like with many things my kids have essentially failed at, it rubs it in. Thanks for that. Sorry we can't all have perfect kids.

When I trained DD1 she used the potty in the hallway (no downstairs loo)
D:D2 hated the potty and only used the toilet
I do dislike going to ex Dp house and his toddler crapping on the potty in the lounge. She’s 3 and has been trained for a year. She should use the toilet but they CBA to take her up

^ they also don’t wipe her bum she just pulls her pants straight up

Oh God, I have seen in all now. Toilet brushes are bad, washing up bowls are bad, now potties are bad?

People are just trying to get their children toiled trained, people, Very small children may not feel comfortable or safe perched up on a toilet, and parents need to do what works for them.

The main reason why so many people are "skipping potties" is because the age of toilet training has increased so much in the last couple of decades. Most children who train at 2 or earlier will need a potty.

I think this thread probably gives some insights into why toilet training has become so difficult in modern times. A lot of people are so SO FREAKED OUT by bodily functions. It makes it hard to discuss pooing and peeing normally with children, it makes it harder to help children feel relaxed about having bowel movements, it causes panic whenever there is an accident and encourages people to stick kids back in nappies whenever there is a single drop or pee or poo on the floor....

What a load of judgey old shite! My older DC all trained quite quickly at age 2-2.5 but we didn't have a downstairs loo so the potty was handy, especially when you have two toddlers and a baby. My youngest is very small for her age and was terrified of falling down the toilet so she used a potty for quite a long time. As a family of 7 the bathroom was often occupied when it was most needed. Agree with pp who said that you can skip the potty if you are training at 3 or even older but an 18 month or small two year old will usually need one. Having said that my DC never 'went' in front of guests and when used the potty was cleaned right away.

The point of potties is to make it easier for them to get to the loo and just save hassle of cleaning the mess on floors that you might get if they don't manage to get to the loo on time. They're easy for them to sit on, unlike a toilet. This means you can start training them as soon as they can sit still - they begin to associate going there instead of their nappy. When they learn that they go to the potty rather than pooing in a nappy you can ditch nappies during the day but then they might not have ability to hold wee in to get there - that's where having one in the main room that they play in comes in - and you can get ones with lids and a kind of jug thing that detaches from the seat so that you can pour out the contents more easily. Once you own multiple potties and dc is used to using them wherever I guess it requires a conscious effort to go back to one once they are definitely at that stage k and you'd have to be comfortable that they are absolutely at that stage) My dd is at a point where we are almost at the point of not needing the one in our lounge (it's not used in the rare event of visitors if she can help it). I guess what is weird about using the potty outside of a bathroom or other room with privacy, is when you have people there who aren't part of the family unit, it's a bit awkward.

Just noticed a pp about it meaning they have independence - absolutely. One of the best things about dd having a potty in her room is often in the mornings I'll go and check on her before I have my shower and she'll be sat on the potty with a book happily going about her business - nobody had to be woken up by her so she can go to the loo, and while she's still in pullups for night time (not for much longer, it's just in case she doesn't wake up fast enough) she's able to push them down by herself and is confident enough to do this. Her bedroom door has a stairgate across it so that she can't go wondering at night (eg into our room) but doesn't feel trapped on her own as she did when we tried sitting the door

What’s all this ‘it seems it’s now the norm?’ Potty is short for chamber pot. It went in the bedroom before people had indoor loos. They were common until the middle of the last century, and are still used in rural areas without indoor plumbing worldwide. It has been the norm for centuries.

I’m sorry so many people are weirdly hung up on their bodily functions. I hope you managed to hide it from your children, because it can cause all sort of health problems.

That's quite bizarre though (with the toilet) or do you mean boys stand up?

It can be difficult to have a wee if your legs are dangling (try it!)

It’s actually not great to wee or poo if your feet aren’t flat, with knees a little bent. This is true for adults (if you’re not tall get yourself a step) but with children just learning they can end up not properly emptying the bladder or bowels, meaning that they get infections, but also don’t get used to the feeling of needing the loo and emptying, making accidents more likely.

We still have a potty in the downstairs. No downstairs toilet and ds has to run through three rooms and a flight of stairs for a bathroom (not ideal) and saves issue if bathroom is engaged. Tbf it won't be here much longer as he is reliably comfortable with using the toilet for wees and poos without a seat on now. I found when he was anywhere that didn't have a potty and toilet was upstairs he had issues with poos so was a lot easier on my washing pile

You explained that better than I did, Down, but you are quite right!