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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People not thinking about school places?! A rant

100 replies

BlingLoving · 26/04/2019 17:14

This has absolutely nothing to do with me and I'm fully aware that to be this wound up is ridiculous but....
.... I keep meeting people with children starting reception next year who have made absolutely ZERO effort to understand the way school places work or think about what they want for their kids.

I think it's driven by my frustration at SIL who is always banging on about how important it is that her DC get a good education and she'll pay to live in a good school district etc etc, but when it comes down to it, she's done absolutely nothing. No research on local schools, no effort to understand the system etc. Hasn't booked a single visit for open days etc. Currently she's thinking of one particular school for her DS. It's a good school actually but her reasoning is that she's met people at WORK who went there and said it was great. So she's making a decision for her kid based on people's experiences of 20 years ago!?!?!

Another family have recently moved into our area but it turns out she doesn't even know what local schools are or how the local council's system works and hasn't really thought about it.

I appreciate that school is still 18 months away, but the process of going to open days etc takes time and the application is only 7 months away.

Okay, I'l stop now. I actually know IABU. I'm just so annoyed by the cavalier attitude of some people. I also had someone tell me the other day that she got into her first choice high school because her mum put it down as her only choice so the council HAD to send her there... Argh.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlingLoving · 26/04/2019 17:15

Also, now that I've got that out off the way, I actually took a quick look at school open days and a few in our area are now focusing open days in the September term, so perhaps it's not as ridiculous as I thought! I seem to recall having to visit schools in the summer term but perhaps that was just me...

OP posts:
TapasForTwo · 26/04/2019 17:19

I had no idea how to go about school applications until I was sent a booklet from preschool. We did go and look at both primary schools though. Both were outstanding so we picked the one within walking distance.

ElizabethMountbatten · 26/04/2019 17:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

lalalonglegs · 26/04/2019 17:20

God, I take my hat off to your SIL for not panicking. In the end, if she lives in an area like mine where even the not-great schools are over-subscribed, it becomes a case of take what you are given and all the angst about which one should be your top preference is absolute wasted energy Smile.

OwlinaTree · 26/04/2019 17:20

I didn't go to visit loads of schools and agonise over the choices tbh. I applied to my local school, and two other nearby schools. I certainly wasn't thinking about it 18 months before applying.

I think it depends where you live. If you live in a city you might actually have choices. Many of us live near one school so there's not much choice.

eurochick · 26/04/2019 17:20

Erm, this seems a ridiculous thing to be worked up about. Perhaps they will just be happy with the local school. In any event, we hadn't given it any thought at this stage. It's just too early!

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 26/04/2019 17:20

Round here they're always September / October open days

Hollowvictory · 26/04/2019 17:24

Open days are next academic year.
Take a chill pill. We moved house for schools and even I wasn't panicking about open days in April.
Catch yourself on!

SleepingStandingUp · 26/04/2019 17:27

If it was October I might have some empathy OP but it could be all new leadership by September!

Hollowvictory · 26/04/2019 17:28

BUT IT'S ONLY 7 MONTHS 😂😂😂😭😭

Tantruminateacup · 26/04/2019 17:35

What, I think I've been doing wrong all these years. Ive got number 3 starting school this Sept. I dont think I've been to an open day at any of the schools untill we've been accepted. I have always just applied to the schools within waking distance its wroked out well for me over the last 10 years. I think your Sil has the right idea.

Covmum83 · 26/04/2019 17:35

I did my homework and didn't even get the secondary school we wanted, not even the bloody closest! My daughter ended up at a school 3 miles away! 1 child from her year got into the 'best' school...

Original poster
BlingLoving · 26/04/2019 17:36

No no. I know IABU. But venting about it made me feel better Grin (and truthfully, I know that SIL WON'T do anything and then she'll start ranting about the open days being full and how unfair it is. But that's a whole different thing and is causing me to be ridiculous....)

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2016 · 26/04/2019 17:37

I knew the schools we applied to through work. We applied to put village school and got in although I would have been equally happy with any of them. We are fortunate that we live in an area with good schools.

Having said all of that, you can go to open evenings etc and decide you like one particular school, but, in all honesty, how much choice is there really? Many schools are oversubscribed so it generally comes down to the one you live closet to that has spaces. Parents can state a preference but there is no obligation on the council's part to meet that preference.

SoHotADragonRetired · 26/04/2019 17:38

Erm, bloody hell, you have an awful lot of feelings about this for something that affects you not in the slightest..? People will figure it out or not, and it'll be on them either way. Why the anger?

Oblomov19 · 26/04/2019 17:43

YABU
What's your gripe? All the schools round here are very good so I too, many years ago didn't care which one, although I had a favourite, and preferences.
And I didn't get stressed about it.

Was I supposed to? What's your point?

YouWinAgain · 26/04/2019 17:47

I visited all the schools in my area (5) but only because I had to justify my choices to ExH and our Social Worker.

Most people I know visited their top choice school and put that and the next two closest schools to them on the form. All of my friends children got into their preferred school.

RosaWaiting · 26/04/2019 17:47

your title is wrong

your SIL pointless moaning is getting on your nerves.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2019 17:48

You've got fuck all chance of getting into a school that's not in your catchment area here anyway.

Comefromaway · 26/04/2019 17:49

Open days being full? All the ones I’ve ever been to not that many admittedly you just turn up and get taken on a tour round. Sometimes you even get a cup of tea.

OwlBeThere · 26/04/2019 17:49

Erm. When my child turned 3, I rang the school I wanted her to go to (based on it being near my house and welsh medium) and then she went there. That was it.

BogglesGoggles · 26/04/2019 17:52

I know nothing about the state school admissions system. Someone told me about it and it seemed so convoluted (and discriminatory and arbitrary) that I completely discounted the idea. We just looked at the Tatler guide, wait listed all of our local schools, arranged a quick tour at our preferred option when we were closer to the date and that was it. Never attended open days-they don’t give a realistic idea of the school anyway. Not entirely sure what kind of ‘research’ you expect people to do either. We’re we supposed to pose as substitute teachers and scope out potential schools?

coffeeforone · 26/04/2019 17:58

I keep meeting people with children starting reception next year who have made absolutely ZERO effort to understand the way school places work or think about what they want for their kids.

My kid starts reception next year. Unless I move house no amount of effort, understanding or thinking would get him into any of my preferred nearby schools as they are too oversubscribed.

Littlecaf · 26/04/2019 18:00

BogglesGoggles

I can’t decide if you get a Grin or a Biscuit

Love it!

SoyDora · 26/04/2019 18:01

I didn’t even think about it until the September before applications. But then there are only two schools in my village, so it was going to be one of them!