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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People not thinking about school places?! A rant

100 replies

BlingLoving · 26/04/2019 17:14

This has absolutely nothing to do with me and I'm fully aware that to be this wound up is ridiculous but....
.... I keep meeting people with children starting reception next year who have made absolutely ZERO effort to understand the way school places work or think about what they want for their kids.

I think it's driven by my frustration at SIL who is always banging on about how important it is that her DC get a good education and she'll pay to live in a good school district etc etc, but when it comes down to it, she's done absolutely nothing. No research on local schools, no effort to understand the system etc. Hasn't booked a single visit for open days etc. Currently she's thinking of one particular school for her DS. It's a good school actually but her reasoning is that she's met people at WORK who went there and said it was great. So she's making a decision for her kid based on people's experiences of 20 years ago!?!?!

Another family have recently moved into our area but it turns out she doesn't even know what local schools are or how the local council's system works and hasn't really thought about it.

I appreciate that school is still 18 months away, but the process of going to open days etc takes time and the application is only 7 months away.

Okay, I'l stop now. I actually know IABU. I'm just so annoyed by the cavalier attitude of some people. I also had someone tell me the other day that she got into her first choice high school because her mum put it down as her only choice so the council HAD to send her there... Argh.

OP posts:

wLuytgNx · 26/04/2019 18:02

We made the decision to buy our current house because it was near an oustanding school that we wanted DS to get into when he was old enough.

Paddingtonthebear · 26/04/2019 18:02

Yeah I know a few people like this. Just no clue that they need to look into this type of stuff and just assume it will all fall into their laps. A friend of ours assumed her DC could get into the school that our DC go to, they don’t live in our area so won’t be in catchment. They thought you could just choose. And that someone applies for you. Someone else I know thought you physically went to a school and put your child’s name on a list a few months before they are due to start. Another friend visited no schools at all, only put one “choice” down which was a school reasonably near but very over subscribed and then was shocked they didn’t get that school.

These are all educated people with professional jobs. Some people just don’t really think ahead.

Littlecaf · 26/04/2019 18:02

School place allocations have literally just come out for this September. Like last week. We got our acceptance letter today. Give the schools a chance. You are not their priority at the moment.

wLuytgNx · 26/04/2019 18:03

I should add we also made the decision to move away from where we lived when my son was born purely because the schools around were shockingly bad and I wanted him to have the best education I could possibly give him. I don't know how people can go along not thinking about their children's schooling and making decisions based on it.

Foreverexhausted · 26/04/2019 18:05

What a strange thing to be so wound up about. Why do you care so much whether other people are planning months in advance and researching? How does this impact on you in any way?

Where I live open days are hosted between September and December so parents still have plenty of time to 'research'.

XiCi · 26/04/2019 18:07

Didn't occur to me to go to any open days but I suppose I'm fortunate in that there are a number of excellent primary schools in my area. I had a preference and got my first choice. Didn't realise it was such an agonising experience!

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 26/04/2019 18:09

I guess you haven't met any Scots recently?
In at least 90% of cases we know exactly where our DC are going to go for both primary and secondary schooling from the minute we move into our homes.

Life is much less stressful.

Honeydukes92 · 26/04/2019 18:11

I know a few people who moved to very desirable locations, mid year, and then were outraged when their DC didn’t get into the local (also very desirable) school. (Mostly villages in the vicinity of our city)

I kind of get it, obviously house moves don’t always line up with school application dates and schools won’t let you apply until you’re actually moved in... but it baffles me that a child can live 2 minutes from one school but be made to travel 20 minutes to another!

I also know somebody who was just out of the catchment area for a very good school, but managed to get a ‘provisional’ place. Then lost it because other kids had moved into a house basically next to the school and applied late.

I don’t know the full ins and outs but she was fuming!

Leeds2 · 26/04/2019 18:11

I think many MN posters are unrepresentative of the school parent population as a whole, in that they do their research about the school application process, go on school visits etc. I was one of them when DD was that age, but many of my friends thought I was being ridiculous.

ForalltheSaints · 26/04/2019 18:12

OP is correct to be concerned.

However, there are some people who I think lack the ability to think and plan ahead. Regardless of financial and any health circumstances. Just as some people can never be on time, others have no sense of direction, others struggle with maths, to give three examples. What you can do about this I am not sure.

GinUp · 26/04/2019 18:14

"Hasn't booked a single visit for open days etc."

Schools round here are still concentrating on SATs and the coming year's intake . I doubt they've even set their open days yet . No booking required either .You just turn up.

SoyDora · 26/04/2019 18:16

The dates for our local schools’ open days haven’t been released yet. They won’t be until September.
You don’t have to book a place, you just turn up.

MindatWork · 26/04/2019 18:16

Our local Facebook page has been completely spammed recently by mums posting endless (and repetitive) questions about the applications process for the village school, deadlines, how do they accept a place once they’ve been allocated one, etc? Maybe just ring the bloody school!?

Also lots of “we’ve just moved to the village, can you tell us what the primary school is like? Kids are 6 and 8”.

Ellisandra · 26/04/2019 18:17

“School district”?
I’ve never heard it called that in the UK, are you in the US? In which case it’s a different system.
Despite the focus on school places on MN and some pockets of the country, in my experience - multiple areas - most people want their child to go to their nearest local school, and are happy with it.
You’re promoting more drama than is needed for most - YABU.

ThanksItHasPockets · 26/04/2019 18:17

It's an interesting insight into one of the challenges of improving historically difficult schools. Local reputations stick tenaciously for generation because a majority of parents will be more influenced by direct experiences, even if they are twenty years old, rather than visit and see for themselves.

tanpestryfirescreen · 26/04/2019 18:18

In the real non Mumsnet world most people just send their children to the local primary school.

In many parts of the UK that is the only option due to distance etc.

Leodot · 26/04/2019 18:19

OP The reason schools often offer visits in September and October is that the deadline for applications is early/mid January. This then allows local authorities or whoever to allocate all the places before they are announced in April and deal with anybody who has missed the deadline.

Announcing them in April then allows time to sort out any problems/listen to appeals before school starts in September. I don’t understand what you think is ridiculous?

Also, it is highly unlikely that the person you know was given a school because she only put that one down so had to be given it. Obviously they try to take your first choice into account but they look at many different things such as catchment area, if they have a sibling there etc to help them decide if they will be able to offer you a place. The person that got the place must have met the criteria to get one, hence why they were offered it.

Fatted · 26/04/2019 18:23

To be fair, in the LEA where we live applications for reception open in October and close mid November. So you do need to kind of have your shit together.

Our NDN was complaining because their DS hasn't got into nursery at the local school. Then in the same breath said they didn't put the application in until six weeks after the closing date.

Labmum · 26/04/2019 18:23

I'm like you OP. DS starts September 2020 but I actually went and looked around a few primary schools locally last Autumn so I could narrow down the options (and see if I wanted to apply to their preschool). Then I'll go again this Autumn before the applications are due in. My friend's think I'm ridiculous. But I don't get worked up about their choices, it's up to them and I know I'm in the minority about overthinking these things. So basically I just wanted to let you know you're not the only unreasonable one OP!

Dippypippy1980 · 26/04/2019 18:23

I live in the catchment area for an excellent primary school - and house prices reflect this.

We have a lot of admissions fraud - which really makes me mad. I can vases the school from my house and we very nearly didn’t get in - I recently heard a man say his daughter was going. To our school - he lives miles away but put down his parents address.

Neighbours of ours didn’t get in a few years ago - yet the grandchild of the couple opposite managed to get accepted - despite living ten miles away.

That annoys me much more than lack of planning!!!!

ShirleyAvenue · 26/04/2019 18:23

You can do all the research you like.... but you can never know in advance how many children will meet the admissions criteria ahead of your child.
I have never had a CHOICE of school- primary or secondary. I have applied for schools where I thought DCs had a good chance of getting in.
You can visit in the summer and the autumn term, research the SATs scores/ GCSE results, the Progress 8, the policies, the leadership bla bla bla but if it's oversubscribed and you live on the edge of catchment/ don't meet the religious criteria/ don't attend a feeder or second tier feeder primary you probably won't get in!!! It's not CHOICE it's a GAMBLE- trying to calculate the odds without all the vital information.

Hedgehogblues · 26/04/2019 18:26

Wait, don't most kids just go to the nearest school?

moonrises · 26/04/2019 18:26

I put pretty much no research into the primary school for my eldest, it was at the top of the road so that was that really. I too was in an area where you just went for your local school. Honestly, the whole visiting multiple schools and agonising over it seems quite alien to me.

A bit more angst for secondary and I have visited a primary recently as we are hoping to do a transfer for my youngest, so it is between or existing school or the now local school.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/04/2019 18:26

It’s 6 months op. People are by and large going to send their dc to the local school as that’s the only choice. If they want to move for a school, time to get their skates on.

Debenhamshandtowel · 26/04/2019 18:27

BogglesGoggles do AbFab dahling

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