WIBU? Parking tickets

[QuestionableMouse]

I own the car that my mum drives. Every time she goes into Asda lately she's getting a parking ticket and I'm a bit fed up of it.

The car is in my name but she's a named driver on the insurance and uses it once a week to do her shopping. She is disabled but can walk/drive okay. She sometimes has my nephews with her and is blaming them for being so long.

I've just opened another parking ticket where she's been in Asda for almost four hours. (12 ish until almost 4)She thinks I'm being unreasonable because three hours isn't long enough. I think she is because we've had at least 5 parking tickets now.

I'm so fucking fed up. She's now gone in a strop and told me to take the fucking car back because I'm making her paranoid about using it. I don't care if she uses it but I'm fed up of the constant parking tickets!

She definitely only goes into Asda. I'm going to have a proper chat with her over it.

Is she doing a shift there??

I can honestly see how it could take someone with a disability four hours to do a "big shop" in our local Asda! This is why I shop online

Drive around to find a BB space. Possibly wait for one to become available as you need the space. Unload and/or transfer into a wheelchair or scooter. Get into store. Ask member of staff to find an adapted trolley if you need one and can't see one. If you are in a wheelchair or scooter, how do you reach anything near the top shelves or reach into the deep freezer compartments? A helpful shopper nearby will usually help but still you may be waiting, or trying to reverse back to see to choose the high shelves for item you want. Asking people to move out of your way so you can get past them. Not to mention the manoeuvring around the shoppers, boxes and pallets and displays, staff picking online orders...Putting stuff in a deep trolley is hard. Wait for the wide enough wheelchair accessible aisle till to be opened. Wait for staff if you need help with packing bags. Wait for the staff to work out how the PIN pad can be taken off the thingy and passed down to you. Wait for the lift back down to the carpack as you can't use the escalator. Try and load shopping into car and try and return trolley. Get back into car. Perhaps you are doing all the above and your hands/fingers are slower than usual? Oh, and people are tutting at you for taking so long - believe me, they do!

(I am sure you can see why you may need a sit down and drink first before leaving the store!)

This is the reality of shopping with a disability. Yes we can shop online (and I do) but are we saying disabled people should have to?

No hopefully we aren't, society should make allowances and generally they do - time limits on on street parking in my town don't apply for blue badges for example. Sometimes, not always, the parking is free as they recognise we have to take longer. Spaces are wider and nearer the store.

To obtain a blue badge your mother must have significant mobility needs. If she struggles like outline above (and until you're disabled you don't fully get it, I didn't) and pays the tickets uncomplainingly for taking extra time, perhaps you should be angry at Asda for not extending any reasonable adjustments to your mother?

Ooof that was long! You see the problem..::

And if you're not a wheelchair user, imagine doing all that balancing on crutches or sticks (you need to use your hands to pick up items don't forget) or walking very slowly and clearly it's a struggle to walk that far and do all that. Perhaps you're in pain.

You could say surely you would shop on line, and it would make sense. But for a lot of people they look forward to getting out of the house and doing something. They like to choose the food they want to eat for the week and not run the risk of bread being substituted for crumpets (Sainsbury's btw ) so they have to go out anyway. It's worth it to them. Cut them some slack!

I'd be speaking to Asda. They employ Parking Eye to monitor their car park, they should be able to address this. It is a mystery to me why so many retailers and other organisations use these cowboys to monitor their car parks.

Someone posted the below thread earlier today - Fri 26-Apr-19 07:41:58
To get the rage and not understand this attitude re blue badges
(Sorry, can't post a link using this phone).

For some people with disabilities, and for me personally, visiting the supermarket is a vital social interaction, and the only occasion that I will see or speak to anyone or leave the house that week.

I've lost count of the number of taxi drivers who don't want me and my 'awkward, banggy disabled shit in my car scratching my paintwork and taking way too long when I could be driving normal people' or similar (how do you spell banggy?)

Use-by dates on home delivered produce are often terribly short and it is too expenaive to have more frequent home deliveries. It is far cheaper to be able to choose my own use-by date than have to rely on supermarket staff to choose.

I would speak to Asda too, if they could put something in place where she maybe had to pop to customer services and sort of 'check in' when she arrives do you think she would do it?

Perhaps a solution would be to petition your local asdas that DPB holders are given extended 4.5 hours free parking.

For £40, she could spend 3 hours in Waitrose and still have change compared to an Asda shop and a parking fine

Well it turned into a massive argument where she called me horrible names and told me that I think I'm better than everyone else since I started uni. I've literally sat in my car and cried my eyes out.

I'm pissed off because they're issued in my name and I don't want dragging into it.

Dragged into what? there isnt a subversive database of registered car owner with dodgy parking .... unpid tickets, but she's paying them. So you arent being 'dragged' into anything

100% right. She borrows your car, she gets tickets, they come to you as the registered keeper, you pass them to her, she pays up without complaint. End of story. Not sure what the OP's issue is. Mum is a grown woman, it's entirely her business and her money to waste.

@Questionablemouse how horrible! She’s got a cheek. 😳 Is she often like this?

Mum is a grown woman, it's entirely her business and her money to waste.

She can get her own car then, can’t she.

Seriously? I’d hate to keep getting bloody parking tickets through the post and having to pass them onto the culprit, make sure they’re paid and so on. The OP is being kind lending her DM her car without having this nonsense.

Is she doing a shift there??

No, seriously, 4 hours is ridiculous.
An average person takes about 40mins. So, given that she is going to potentially take longer because of her disability (we don't know what the disability is or how it affects her), but let's say it even take twice as long, that would still only be an hour and a half. So you could still spend an hour in the cafe and be out in under the 3 hours.

As others have said, if she took a taxi it would be cheaper than constant tickets.
She needs to take responsibility for herself.