AIBU to ask you - how often are you hit on by random men (mid-late-30s)?

[silvercuckoo]

Off work today and met with a couple of old female friends for a morning coffee and a bit of cake.
We are all in our mid-late 30's and - not sure how to put it in a kind way - are all, probably, average to below average looking for our age. Everyone is also a single mother, so not a lot of time for personal grooming or spare cash for designer outfits.
The talk turned to personal / intimate lives (specifically, to the topic of one night stands and fwb relationships), and I was surprised that the rest of the women are asked out / hit on / approached regularly - at least couple of times a week. Coffee shops, grocery stores, gym, work - everywhere. Which is not my experience at all - if someone shows any interest in me, it is probably after a dozen of drinks at the after-work happy hour, and is very likely to be the office creep.
I feel like the ugly friend now . AIBU to ask you about your own experience, if you are roughly in the same age category? Intended reasonably light-hearted, it's not like I am going to lose sleep over this.

I'm like you in that I'm a bit by what they say? Are you sure they weren't exaggerating?

I've noticed since it's known I'm single that I get a bit of flirting from the married dad's at kids school but nothing more than that.

I'm a bit jealous!

I sound not dissimilar to you lot and I would say absolutely never. I've never really been able to tell when people are hitting on me, mind you, but I don't think they do! I do usually have a rambunctious toddler in tow, mind you. He does look like a bit of a mood-spoiler, and I'm sure he would be.

Just realised I wrote 'mind you' twice in one post. What a weirdo - no wonder nobody hits on me

No one ever hits on me either (I’m married though). I think I’m mid 30s you start becoming invisible

Never. I don’t ever recall getting male attention like that out and about, but I think I’m pretty much invisible now.

Nah noone looks at me anymore. Is slightly gutting. Dont think im that rough looking

sumandsubstance that made me laugh

Me neither OP, extremely rare anyway.

Never. I’m just below mid thirties and never ever get chatted up/ hit on. I always thought it was because I’m overweight but I have friends who are larger and if we’re on a (rare) night out they will get a fair amount of attention whilst I get completely ignored. I make an effort with hair and make up most of the time but I must have resting bitch face or something! I am very socially anxious so maybe I come across as shy/dull.

Im in my 50's and still get chatted up, regularly.

But I'm reasonably chatty and talk to anyone

Never. I'm tall, slim, blonde and conventional looking - so in theory attractive - but nobody has chatted me up or even flirted with me for literally years.

I’m a bit overweight but look young/ reasonably attractive and have never really got hit on much (I was quite surprised to find I had no trouble with online dating as assumed it would be tricky as not hit on IRL).

I think it’s because a lot of men who want to randomly hit on a stranger are a bit scuzzy/predator types who rely on women “being nice/polite”. I am fairly assertive which I think comes across non verbally so they are unlikely to waste their time on me.

Alternatively could be I’m just ugly and in denial 🤷‍♀️

None, thank god. But I have a resting bitch face and do not in anyway look approachable, even to nice well meaning strangers.

I'm married, mid 30s and never get hit on. Ever. Then again, I'm only ever out with my 10 yo DD or my husband so...

They get hit in a couple of times a week???

I get hit on occasionally when we go out to bars and events. However I generally exude a very confident and closed vibe which does not indicate I would appreciate being hit on.

I am never hit on, but I never was hit on much when out and about....stared at yes, cat called yes, comments made as I walk by yes. But for a guy asking me out on a date etc....rare! However, I never gave off flirty vibes or those inviting vibes. I probably scared off most men. With out sounding conceited, I know I am attractive, good body etc. So really, being hit on has nothing to do with looks only.....it has to do with also giving off that open vibe. Looking around, smiling at these men etc. I never look at men...never smile at them etc...unless its an old nice man walking a dog etc. Or dc friends fathers, then I am polite and smile have a small chat.

I've been "hit on" in the same way as you op; drunk creeps only.

Makes me think it must be one of three options 1) I have been hit on more but I didn't realise 2)others think they've been hit on but it's just normal conversation or 3) I'm just really not flirtable material

I'm 51 but this has always been like this.

I am mid thirties and pretty nice looking

I’d wonder exactly what they mean by getting hit in tbh, because the only person I know who gets hit on that often is my 19 yr old DD... and that’s because she works as a barmaid after college (I mean yes I think she’s stunning, but it still doesn’t happen that often outside of that)

Now, in a totally non-arrogant yet self-confident way, I would say I am decent looking. And I get hit on a grand scale of ZERO times in every day life, since well, ever! I assume your friends are likely on dating/hookup apps or sites if they have casual sex lives. I think if they are pretending to have all these imaginary chat-ups in bloomin Aldi and the gym, they are kidding themselves (and you), and are actually just enjoying themselves via Tinder most likely! It's probably frowned upon to be seen as enjoying casual rendezvous via online but so many people do it. I imagine they want to discuss their conquests, yet prefer pretend to stumble upon them in a more "traditional" manner....

I gte hit on a fair bit, and I think a lot of it comes down to whether you make eye contact with people or not. I tend to make a lot of eye contact with everyone......I guess it's just something I do, I tend to try to take people in and assess them (everyone) as they commence communication with me. I have pretty big, round eyes, and have a habit of engaging via eye contact (it sounds weird in my head as I type this).

Anyway beinghit on, is not all about looks at all, its about apprachability and non-verbal cues (even when some of that non-verbal communication) is just a habit. As I'm getting older and blinder (ha!) I notice/receive less of it on the street. I just wander around, keeping my be-speckled eyes to myself.

I've never been hit on. Even chuggers give me a wide berth.

Everywhere I go, at least 4 or 5 times a day. I ignore it as much as possible, it gets in the way of what I want to do. I don't know why, but maybe my long wavy hair makes me seem approachable. I don't particularly dress up, usually in sportswear, don't wear much makeup just mascara and tinted lip balm to look presentable.
Yesterday I met up with some friends for lunch so wore a dress, with flat ankle boots and it ramped up quite a bit. My friends notice it and one said its because I have a slightly glamorous girl next door look. I think the more harmless men perceive you to be the more they approach.
If I really want to flirt with someone, that's when I make eye contact and smile like an idiot

Oh and "hit on", means flirting in general, not necessarily being invited on dates, in my world. I don't get invited on dates all that frequently, but do engage in playful flirtation frequently (!) Why not, life is short.

Got hit on outside Poundstretcher at the weekend. But I have one of those faces that suggests I like people far more than I do.

I'm mir thirties (Christ I actually never thought of it before, I feel old now!). Plump and plain and can't be arsed with hair and make up. Mum bod. Never got actually hit on really, had my fair share of car horns, leers and "alright darlings" which we all grind our teeth through... In the very odd occasions I have been clubbing (pre child) I got the odd arse grope (never more than one per night though as I am of the "tear a strip off them" tendency... But noone has actually cracked on to me with a will in years [sigh]. I've forgotten what it's like to know someone finds you attractive and have a decision to make on what to do about it. God it would be nice to be missed for the first time by someone again.

Yeah now I'm feeling really fucking old and ugly . I'll console myself with the thought that come ons and kisses can lead to relationships, and who's got time for that shite