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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for not wanting everybody’s dog at my house?

50 replies

Dogparty · 26/04/2019 12:07

I’ve posted a couple of times but name changed for this.
I adore dogs, I have an elderly and very spoilt dog myself and I love meeting friends and walking the dogs together.

However, we are having a few friends over tomorrow night and everybody wants to bring their dog. Would be fine if I didn’t have a crawling baby or if my elderly dog didn’t get grumpy when dogs visit his house.
There will be 5 dogs running around with a crawling baby and I’ll be running round trying to host and trying to keep their licky dogs away from baby & his toys. Plus trying to keep my dog on the sofa out of the way. If we were bbqing in the garden it would be fine with me. But we are in the house! AIBU? I feel like I am because I’m fine with them here one at a time but all at once is stressing me out.

OP posts:
dontlikebeards · 26/04/2019 12:12

YADNBU why do they need to bring their dogs if it's just for an evening?

Sciurus83 · 26/04/2019 12:12

YANBU, just say no?

Halo1234 · 26/04/2019 12:14

you are not BU. Even 5 of the worlds best behaved dogs and a baby in one house would be stressful. It's a tricky one if u have already agreed to it and now want to change your mind. I would just say everyone wants to bring their dog but 5 dogs at once will be too much for your elderly dog. Is it ok if some people leave theirs at home. Good luck.

WoodyOak · 26/04/2019 12:14

No dogs in my house at all! Even if I didn't have a baby.

Surely with friends you can say that you feel five dogs are too many? Do they realise everyone else is bringing a dog?

AryaStarkWolf · 26/04/2019 12:14

People have gone really weird over their dogs lately. They're not children, they can survive at home for a few hours on their own

Langrish · 26/04/2019 12:14

That’s really weird. I’ve never consider taking our dog to an evening social occasion, wouldn’t enter my head. No, you're most definitely not BU.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 26/04/2019 12:16

Is this a thing now? People can't visit without bringing their bloody dogs? Weird.

Sod that. Say no.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 26/04/2019 12:18

Yanbu. Just text them all and say 5 dogs will be too much for your own dog so to leave them at home.

TurboTeddy · 26/04/2019 12:20

Dog lover here and no YANBU. Your house, your rules. I agree with PP, tell your guests that all of their dogs would be too much for your dog and so, in the interests of fairness, you've decided on a no canine guest rule for the gathering. Reasonable people will understand and respect your decision.

UrsulaPandress · 26/04/2019 12:25

Hell no.

acomingin · 26/04/2019 12:31

God no. No one I know would think it ok to bring a dog into my home.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 26/04/2019 12:35

Just say no. I always check our children are invited, let alone a dog! Only one of them would lick baby toys though Grin

Lifeover · 26/04/2019 13:05

no Yanbu - we only take ours to friends if we will be away more than 4 hours (but would ask first, if its a no we would obviously decline invite) or the dog has been specifically invited.

I think the trouble is such a song and dance is made these days about not leaving a dog people don't do this from day one, then suddenly 6 months later need to leave the dog for hours then get worried about it tearing the house up or leave it in a crate and feel bad about it having never left it with free run of the house.

The same happens with dogs off leads. People are so unforgiving they no longer let a puppy off a lead then at 9 months let them off expecting them to have perfect recall.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/04/2019 13:10

Of course you should say no! I love dogs but no one is bringing their dog into my home. Our lovely dog died last year and we've decided not to get another, and we also have cats. A strange dog in the house would be very upsetting to the cats so it's an absolute NO. My in-laws have tried repeatedly to convince us to let them being their huge dog but we will not budge. Our house, our rules.

Macandcheese05 · 26/04/2019 13:17

i would tell them no. how bizarre wanting to take your dog with you. do you take your dog to their houses op?

Original poster
Dogparty · 26/04/2019 13:39

Glad you’ve agreed with me, DH thought I was being U because I love dogs. The crawling baby and his toys is my biggest concern. No I have never taken my dog to their houses, I wouldn’t dream of doing! I’ve agreed to it this time but I will definitely put my foot down in future because it is ridiculous. I feel like I’ve made my bed because everyone knows I love dogs.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dogparty · 26/04/2019 13:40

They sometimes bring their dogs individually so that’s where the idea has come from. One at a time has always been ok. But 5 dogs is crazy and our house is open plan so we can’t even shut the dogs away from crawling baby.

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 26/04/2019 14:01

Have these 5 dogs been together in one place before? Are you sure that the dogs will get on?
I cannot understand this mentality with people and their dogs and having to take them absolutely everywhere with them. It has never occurred to me to extend an invitation to 'the dog' to any of my friends or relatives. I invite people. If they happen to have a dog and haven't got anyone to look after it for the time they will be visiting then they will ask if it is OK to bring the dog - but that is usually only if they are staying overnight - not coming for the evening. But I don't have a dog or a baby and would only want one dog visiting (although the fashion seems to be to have 2 dogs these days too)

Aquamarine1029 · 26/04/2019 14:10

Just because you agreed doesn't mean you can't change your mind! Tell your friends that you've had a rethink and you realise all those dogs along with your dog and the baby is not a good idea. Personally, I think it's an incredibly foolish and potentially dangerous thing to do. It's situations like this where a dog can get very stressed and then lash out. It's just not worth the risk.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 26/04/2019 14:19

I remember once their was an event going on so offered to have all in laws dogs plus a friends and we also had ours plus a baby and 5 year old dog. So 8 dogs in total- including a ridgeback, lab, boxer, weinmaranier (dp), beagle and sheepdog. It wasn’t as bad as we thought, Exdp actually shouted lie down at one of the dogs when he was on the back of the sofa, and all 8 led down where they wereGrin. But it was very quiet afternoon, they were good as gold. However, as soon as everyone it descended into chaos- it was the humans! So I can imagine tonight would be ‘fun’🙈

thenightsky · 26/04/2019 14:19

Can you shove all the dogs out in the garden?

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 26/04/2019 14:22

Actually it was normal for Exdp to come back from walking the dogs saying ‘Saturday we have X’s Dogs’ or ‘Y have asked if we can have their dogs next weekend’, ‘Sunday afternoon Z is bring her dogs over until Tuesday’, we always had people’s dogs to stay that he regularly walked the dogs with. Yes but strangely we rarely asked anyone, even always took our dogs on holiday with us without fail.

NoSquirrels · 26/04/2019 14:23

I think you have to text or call them all (or ideally WhatsApp so they’re all getting the message at the same time?) and say “I’m afraid on this occasion I can’t have everyone’s dogs over - 5 dogs all at once is a bit much for my grumpy old girl/boy and there’s a crawling baby too so it would be too stressful this time. Sorry all! You know I love your dogs but I can’t host them tomorrow.”

AryaStarkWolf · 26/04/2019 14:25

They sometimes bring their dogs individually so that’s where the idea has come from. One at a time has always been ok. But 5 dogs is crazy and our house is open plan so we can’t even shut the dogs away from crawling baby.

Why not just call them and say "look, I know I said it was fine to bring your dog but now everyone wants to and I just thing it's too many dogs at the one time" unless they're totally unreasonable they would understand I'm sure

TixieLix · 26/04/2019 14:29

Sorry but I think you're inviting trouble. There will be five dogs together in an enclosed space, with your elderly (sometimes grumpy) dog. If these dogs have never mingled before, how do you know they'll even get on and not fight? There's absolutely no way I'd trust other people's dogs around a small baby. If you don't feel you can now say no to them coming (and I would just say you've had multiple requests so have to say no to all for fairness) then can you shut them all outside, or use baby gates to keep them out of the room the baby is in?