Was I BU taking my friend with me to pick new glasses?

[uptodatetech]

I wear glasses and needed a new pair. There is a specific shop that's only in a city that my friend lives in, and I wanted to treat myself to a new pair of specs from there.

For back story, this girl was meant to be my best friend. I've helped her move flats twice. I've done hour+ trips to Ikea and helped build her furniture. I've schlepped across London with her to go to specific shops/places.

Anyway, I must have spent 40 minutes picking glasses. She agreed to come with me to pick glasses as I need someone else to help me pick so they can tell me how I look (!). I kept trying to ask her if this or that pair was good, but she just seemed soooo bored and spent time on the phone to her mum and then to estate agents. Then any pair I'd try on I'd get comments like " you look like cruella deville" "you look like you're trying to be twiggy" etc Like I get it's not exciting but just tell me which ones suit me and which pairs are shit!

I know it can't have been that fun, but why agree to come! It wasn't much to ask!

I agree with you OP. She could have said no to joining you.

I took my DH to help me pick glasses as I wanted an honest opinion and I would have been upset if he’d made comments like that or not really helped.

She was bu
I go with my friend and help her properly. It's a long job but they need to look and feel right.

Not only that; when I see her these days she'll say things like "remember when I had to help you pick bloody glasses" "why did you take so long" "never been so bored as when..."

I don’t think you were unreasonable, if she didn’t want to them she should have said........just like I hope you won’t want to next time she asks of you

Sometimes we ask friends to do things that are boring for them but important to us. And a good friend does it because you are important to them. So she asked for help moving which was boring to you but important to her and she can't return one of those favours spending 40 minutes giving you advice. She is not a good friend.

And I wouldn’t be looking to spend time with her after your last update

She was bored. And she probably didn’t want the responsibility of choosing a pair you hate. Go to an optician with the tech to take your picture and show you or use your phone to do the same.
I bet she thought you were going to the town to see her and not to spend so long in this shop. She doesn’t sound like a best friend though.

40 minutes to choose?! misses the point

It sounds incredibly tedious so I agree, she should have refused to accompany you. I expect she thought it was going to be more like 15/20 minutes though. That said, she didn’t need to be mean to you about how the glasses looked. Even if she was bored, there’s no excuse for that. Did she think she was being funny?

40 minutes is a long time She probably expected you to try on 10 and pick one. I think you are being a bit U.

40 minutes is not a long time to choose glasses! They're expensive and wearing them means you have them as part of your identity every single day.
Your so-called friend sounds a mean girl. Find a nicer friend.

Sounds like a one sided friendship. I’ve had one before - expected to help move house, paint bedroom, go to hair appointments etc, but she never would have done the same to me. Some people just give a good impression of being “there for you always hun” but they aren’t actually. If she’s a bad or selfish friend, don’t waste your time on her.

Get rid...she is no friend

It only took you 40 minutes to choose? God I might take six trips to three different shops to choose a pair of frames. Well done you. She doesn't sound very nice.

I have a friendship like this, she only does things on her terms only messages me when she wants something , it was only yesterday I came to this realisation and I have decided to cool the friendship and become more acquaintances than friends, I think you should do the same.

My dd takes that long to choose glasses. I nearly went out of my mind. I would die for this girl but not stand there again watching her try on again and again. I felt faint and to be honest have no idea what she choose in the end as it's all a blur.
We have a standing joke now when she says she needs new glasses. I just scream and run.
So just laugh it off.

You did well my daughter can take an hour!

Actually, I think 40 minutes is a blooming long time to be trying on glasses in one shop. Usually you know your budget and general style so that means there’s not exactly a huge selection to try in one place, 40 minutes umming and ahhing over a few pairs must have been quite boring.

Going on about it is rude though, she shouldn’t accompany you if she wasn’t willing to give the time - you’ll know to think twice to help her out in future.

40 mins is quick for choosing. I can spend hours, my husband dreads it when my prescription needs Changing

40 minutes is not long. She was selfish and rude.

She sounds like Kevin the Teenager!

Yanbu

I think dp takes longer, he asks me to go, ignores my opinion, and then I spend a couple of weeks giving him the side eye whilst I get used to his new face. It’s amazing how much glasses can change someone’s look.

Anyway, I don’t think you were unreasonable asking a trusted friend for her opinion I just don’t think this particular friend fits that category.

I usually take no more than 15 to 20 minutes as I know which ones to avoid so there's no need to try them on. However, she's being ridiculous to keep referring to it as if it was the worst thing to ever happen to her. Drama queen.

She's not a great friend - my friend comes with me & helps me pick. You do this stuff for your friends!

Perhaps it wouldn't have taken 40 minutes if she'd been a bit more blooming helpful & made less useless comments!

I'd back off a little, hang out but no more of the moving flats & trekking around for her stuff.