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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My date doesn't find me attractive ...aibu?

95 replies

shiphassailedaway · 25/04/2019 18:23

About 9 months ago I had a date with a guy,told me he wanted to see me again etc
Then he started seeing a girl.
8 months ago he got back in touch and we went for another date.
He was showing me pictures of other girls he's going to be going on dates with.
Very Instagram looking girls,all airbrushed etc.
He then says to me,with them girls I would always worry men would be after them and chatting them up (obviously doesn't worry about that with me)I wouldn't have to worry with you...THEN
He says look at them,I couldn't believe it when they agreed to go on a date with me.
They are so out of my league .
Aibu to think he clearly thinks they are more attractive than me,?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 25/04/2019 19:05

Why didn't you just walk out and tell him good luck with them. Where's your self respect.

SuziQ10 · 25/04/2019 19:06

He is just a normal bloke.
Slightly overweight,bit scruffy looking
Shit hair

Oh op please don't waste any more of your time on this weirdo. There are better catches out there for you.

Leeds2 · 25/04/2019 19:08

You can do better.

Sagradafamiliar · 25/04/2019 19:09

I hope you agreed with him with great enthusiasm that they were way out of his league.

category12 · 25/04/2019 19:10

He's negging you.

leomama81 · 25/04/2019 19:12

And Instagram airbrushed girls don't look like that in real life either usually.

Tell him to do one, definitely

pictish · 25/04/2019 19:14

I’m astounded at his conduct. I would have left sharpish without a backwards glance.
What an absolute idiot.

sighrollseyes · 25/04/2019 19:15

Why did you sit there while he showed you pics of other girls he was going on dates with??? Erm run!

MammaSchwifty · 25/04/2019 19:15

It's a tactic to lower your self esteem and open you up to be manipulated by him.

Do not engage with him any further, do not believe a word he has said to you, do not start to question yourself based on anything he has said.

Take all the great advice on this thread, block and stay far away.

Craftycorvid · 25/04/2019 19:16

Of course he is ‘average’ and ‘scruffy’. Experience tells me these are precisely the men who feel so very entitled to make charmless comments about women. As PP have said, enough red flags to deck a carnival float. Bin!

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/04/2019 19:19

If you need to ask, you shouldn't be dating.

MissConductUS · 25/04/2019 19:20

He didn't actually go out with those women. Block and move on, he's a jerk.

Nutellalovesme · 25/04/2019 19:30

He sounds like a total arsewipe.
Please don't see him anymore.

bosepose · 25/04/2019 19:33

sounds like a cunt

Sagradafamiliar · 25/04/2019 19:34

I've just thought, maybe he was fishing for a compliment like for you to say 'of course they're not out of your league, you'd have made a good couple' or something. Whilst at the same time trying to mould your self esteem. What a loser whichever way you look at it!

Ellie56 · 25/04/2019 19:36

He is just a normal bloke.
Slightly overweight,bit scruffy looking
Shit hair

Hmm and you think all these women he was showing you pictures of have really been out with him? Hmm

I don't think so. They can all do better than him and so can you. Tell him you've realised you're way out of his league and block him.

He sounds like a prize twat.

pictish · 25/04/2019 19:38

It’ll be a tip on some pathetic meninist forum for inadequate arseholes.

Aeroflotgirl · 25/04/2019 19:39

Wow what a dick, totally bin him!

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 25/04/2019 19:40

He is just a normal bloke.Slightly overweight,bit scruffy looking Shit hair
Please tell him you're not going on anymore dates and tell him it's because of the above, along with his lack of personality and social skills.

Quintella · 25/04/2019 19:41

Well, he's certainly quick off the mark chipping away at your self-esteem. And he's no Greek God in the looks department you say? What a shocker!

Block this loser and move on.

Gettingthroughthedays · 25/04/2019 19:44

I'm sure you are lovely. I look like I could bag Brad Pitt with a snapchat filter on when the reality is much, much different let me tell you! So you're not superficial...I see that as a huge positive!

Sounds like HE is the one with the low self esteem, don't let him dump that on you! Maybe he even thinks you'll be more attracted to him if he shows off all those supposedly interested women. He failed.

Just tell him you're not interested and forget him.

Sashkin · 25/04/2019 19:49

Text back “I didn’t find you particularly attractive (bit overweight, scruffy looking, shit hair) but I was willing to overlook that if you had a nice personality. But then I met you and you don’t even have that.”

NaBiAgOl · 25/04/2019 19:54

It's like he's telling you that he'd settle for you because he's insecure.......... but really he needs the validation of an instagram girl. run!

madcatladyforever · 25/04/2019 20:00

Utter tosser. Tell him you don't think he's good enough for you and get rid.

Surprisedmom · 25/04/2019 20:12

He’s negging you. Don’t waste any more time on him.

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