My date doesn't find me attractive ...aibu?

[shiphassailedaway]

About 9 months ago I had a date with a guy,told me he wanted to see me again etc
Then he started seeing a girl.
8 months ago he got back in touch and we went for another date.
He was showing me pictures of other girls he's going to be going on dates with.
Very Instagram looking girls,all airbrushed etc.
He then says to me,with them girls I would always worry men would be after them and chatting them up (obviously doesn't worry about that with me)I wouldn't have to worry with you...THEN
He says look at them,I couldn't believe it when they agreed to go on a date with me.
They are so out of my league .
Aibu to think he clearly thinks they are more attractive than me,?

My ex husband used this mine on me when we first met. He told me he knew it wouldn't work with his ex 'she wasnt like you she was way out of my league'.

I was 18, it made me feel shit but my self esteem was so low, I told myself it was me.

17 years and 2 kids later, it didnt get any better. He abused me emotional, bullied me and generally made me feel like shit. There were good times where he made me feel amazing. Then make me feel even shitter.

I finally pulled myself up enough to walk away. But when I look back that was my first red flag and that should have been when I walked away.

My advice is block the shit head.

He is a dick. As others say, he is trying a technique called "negging". When men try that technique it is very useful as it is like a giant neon sign going off above their heads saying "I am a dick. Get rid of me". Don't ignore that sign. Don't give him any headspace at all. Go meet other men until you find a man who thinks you are great just the way you are.

He'd have been wearing his pint if that had been me.

He is treating you like a mate instead of a date. He is unsophisticated and charmless - bin him. If you want to throw him a bone, suggest a website theartofcharm

The minute he started showing you other girls is the minute you should have walked out ffs

What a loser he is. Trying to big himself up and make you feel lucky to be on a date with him, is he?? Ditch him! Also, he’s incredibly silly and going to be mightily disappointed if he really thinks these women he keeps banging on about are going to look the same in real life as they do with Instagram filters and a load of heavy contouring makeup.

You should have ordered an expensive bottle of wine eaten some nice food and then “popped to the loo” ( I mean walked out if the restaurant leaving him to foot the bill

Run away, block and ignore.

He's a prize dick. Ignores you for months, then flashes pictures of other women at you? My God. Emotional abuse on a second date is going some.

He's a total cunt. Get some self-respect. Should have blocked him after date no. 1.

I would have come back with "yes I'm also surprised they agreed to go out with you - perhaps they're after a free meal". Now it's over and done with though don't give him a second more of your headspace. He's obviously an insecure prick who gets off on putting others down.

It looks pretty desperate that you went out with him again 8 months after the first date.... like you're just hanging around waiting for him.

And then you didn't walk out when he started going on about other girls? Get some self respect and stay away from him.

He is trying to crush you. Block him and don't see him again.
What a little shit.

What is negging by the way?

Whether or not he finds you attractive is not really relevant. Anyone that shows his date pictures of other girls he is going on dates with is a total knob. Don't see him again.

Why go out with a man who chucked you for another girl and shows you photos of girls on his phone? How does that even crop up in conversation?

Please have love for yourself, respect too, and don't bend yourself into shapes worrying what this tosser thinks. Block his number, do literally anything else with your time than worry what this 'means.' Means he has a wandering cock and no respect for women. Gross

There is nothing wrong with you. He is an absolute arsehole. Kick him to the kerb, where he belongs, and don’t give him a second thought.

Just tell him he's out of your league. The league of nice people.

What everyone else said. Haven't you seen the ad on t.v. about how a normal relationship is conducted by 'normal' people ? As in if one is controlling the others thoughts and behaviour it's a criminal offence ? Why would you open yourself up to this? Please don't and beware of others trying the same thing. I think you're very trusting and (sorry) maybe a bit naive. Please take the very good advice from all those who have taken the time to respond to you. They actually care what happens to you.

Spring negging is things like back handed compliments, pointing out another woman who is slimmer/taller/blonde/brunette/ anything that you aren’t. It’s aimed to make you feel grateful for their attention and eventually desperate for their approval. It’s emotional/physiological abuse.

And if this man's opinion has shaken you about your looks, take a step back. He's one guy. He clearly treats women like meat or pieces of something disposable.

He wants you to feel bad about yourself. Why give him the pleasure? And who made him a judge of people's looks? He's just one guy, a wanker who will get a drink thrown on him soon. I would do it

Eerrr any actual proof that he did actually date these women? I wouldn't be at all surprised if the whole thing is a great steaming pile of BS. Is he drop-dead gorgeous by the way or Joe bloggs?

That lovely wedding speech in About Time being that the most important quality in a spouse is that they kind. He is not. Instant bin for that weirdo

Wow Wow Wow! Do NOT go on any more dates with that dick!

Of course it doesn't mean you're not attractive!

This 'date' will destroy your self confidence! He's one of those blokes that will always be on the lookout for a 'trophy girlfriend' to boost his opinion of himself. He is not boyfriend material!

Get rid!

He is clearly not normal. Why base your judgements of yourself on the comments of an abnormal person?

He is just a normal bloke.
Slightly overweight,bit scruffy looking
Shit hair

My first thought was 'negging' as well. Doubt he actually went out with all those airbrushed girls.