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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be panicking about my parents visiting

40 replies

Greyeye · 24/04/2019 19:22

My parents are very house proud. They are visiting tomorrow.

My mum has not worked outside the home, so she keeps a spotless house.

I don't see them often, as they live far away, but they are visiting me tomorrow.

When I visit them, they have lots of rules to do with keeping a clean house. For example, one can only eat in the kitchen and the kitchen is closed from 8 pm.

In the past, my mother has demanded I get out of bed at 7 am when I had influenza, so she could change the sheets.

When I was a child, she slapped me around my face for spilling something on the floor.

One morning, some years ago, I woke up early, burnt the toast and set off the smoke alarm. My dad stormed downstairs, shouting at me, and actually hit me with his hand.

He said I had woken everyone up. Jeez - I was making myself a cup of tea abs some toast! I was in my forties.

I told my mum that my house might not be spotless and she said she would "rise above it",

My husband and I both work full time.

I was upset with my mum's comment she said "That is just what mothers say".

I live with my husband and teenage son.

I am dreading tomorrow...

OP posts:
Chloemol · 24/04/2019 19:26

Just hand her a duster and the hoover and let her get on with it

Shrewbie · 24/04/2019 19:29

I would revoke the invitation immediately they sound insane and unbalanced!!! Keep your distance apart from neutral ground in coffee shops and restaurants. FM They are insane and abusive!!!

JassyRadlett · 24/04/2019 19:29

Do they have good features?

I’d be quite short with them. ‘You make the choices in your house. This is my home, and we live in the way prefer. You’re welcome here as guests, but I expect you to be civil.’

DonPablo · 24/04/2019 19:30

Eugh, your dad hit you when you were an adult? And your mum hit you when you were younger? Theyd be staying in a hotel if it were me! Are there any nearby that you can check the availability of for if it all gets a bit too much?

MrsMozartMkII · 24/04/2019 19:31

Why are you letting them visit?

Definitely revoke the invite. Norovirus is rife at this time of year...

Disfordarkchocolate · 24/04/2019 19:32

Bloody hell, I can't understand why you invited them. Now they're coming don't be pushed about (or slapped) and get some gin in.

Sarahjconnor · 24/04/2019 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twisique · 24/04/2019 19:55

You don't have to see them, its not compulsory (it just feels like it is).

coconutpie · 24/04/2019 19:55

Your father has physically assaulted you as did your mother and you are having them as guests? Wtf?! Why?! Cancel the visit, you do not need this shit in your life.

adaline · 24/04/2019 19:58

Your parents sound abusive.

Why are you still in touch with them?

HBStowe · 24/04/2019 19:59

I don’t blame you, your mum sounds horrible and your dad actually abusive. Can you just cancel the visit?

Easterbunnyhashoppedoff · 24/04/2019 20:00

Op I am a cleaner. I would be happy to come and pose as your housekeeper for the day!!

MrsMozartMkII · 24/04/2019 20:13

And I'll come as your verbal (and if necessary body!) protector Flowers

Yesicancancan · 24/04/2019 20:31

😮 wow. They sound joyful.
No disrespect to you, but they sound abusive.
You need to practice saying, this is our home and we love it how it is. And, if you ever hit me again I will never speak to you. ever.
Good luck, it’s your home and do not owe them repetition of their neat freak ways.

LordNibbler · 24/04/2019 20:34

Why on earth are you letting these awful abusive people into your home? Your parents have physically assaulted you, and sound mentally abusive too. You do realise you're a fully grown adult and can say no, I don't want you in my home don't you?

Drum2018 · 24/04/2019 20:35

It's your house. You don't have to give a shit about what other people think about it. I do a clean up when visitors are due but not a deep clean - Hoover, clean sinks and toilets. If they are not staying over I don't do upstairs. I'm sure your house isn't filthy. If it's not up to their standards so what - its up to yours/Dh's standards and that's what matters.

Applejack5 · 24/04/2019 20:38

I wouldn't be inviting someone who hit me into my home!!

Zoflorabore · 24/04/2019 20:41

Tell them you've got rats.

Or pretend you've moved...

Seriously, why put yourself through it?

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 24/04/2019 21:22

Relax, OP! It's your house, you can live how you like. If they're very uncomfortable they can (a) help you clean up or (b) leave.

ohfourfoxache · 24/04/2019 21:32

Why on earth would you want to have anything to do with them??

BabyBadger2 · 24/04/2019 21:39

Deflect deflect deflect. Any negative comments/glances etc, just change the subject (have subjects up your sleeve - do they have other interests?) so that they get no air time. The more they see you are anxious about it, the more it will become the elephant in the room and the more inclined they will be to pick holes.

(I have a similar situation with one of my family members. I just refuse to entertain the topic they are obsessed with...)

CoolCatKat · 24/04/2019 21:41

Sorry, it just reminded me of these two....

To be panicking about my parents visiting
Ashparo12 · 24/04/2019 21:53

They'd certainly not be allowed in my home- ( but that's obviously too late now)

They sound abusive and awful... no parent visit should be fearful. Stay away from them.

EL8888 · 24/04/2019 21:55

@Myimaginarycathasfleas this. When l was a child my mum used to say her house = her way and when l have my own house then l can do what l want. Weirdly now l have my own property she still wants things her way. My in laws were the same. My advice is when in Rome, you do what the Romans do (they need to remember this). Don’t take any shit of them. If they can’t behave then they need to go home

Holidayshopping · 24/04/2019 21:56

They sound abusive and quite unhinged

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