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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Think 1 am is too late for a school night

112 replies

TowerRavenSeven · 24/04/2019 19:21

Ds is 17 and got free tickets to a opening night movie (nothing that he’s been dying to see) He’d be going with a friend of his and she would be driving him home.

The movie ends at 12:30 and he’d be getting home at 1. He’s just got over a bad bout of bronchitis and has been crazy busy with traveling with school, exams, etc. I just think 1 am is so late yet I’m torn. He’s a great student, never been in trouble, serious about school and grades, etc. What say you? Honestly my gut feeling s no.

OP posts:

Aragog · 24/04/2019 19:59

18 year old sixth formers still have house rules.

They still do in the house of everyone I know in real life too.

I always had them too, as did dh. Still managed to have a great sixth form social life, and maintain excellent relationships with parents - then and now.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 24/04/2019 19:59

But TowerRavenSeven nearly every poster said of course he should go. Endgame is really special and exciting for fans, you're depriving a very well behaved kid of the kind of night he would remember for a very long time as a special occasion, staying up late and the like.

Poor lad.

Pk37 · 24/04/2019 19:59

cocodash for sooo long!

ElloBrian · 24/04/2019 20:00

At what point does your husband envisage letting your son make his own decisions? Serious question. If you don’t let them make choices like this at 17, how are they going to learn to use their own judgement?

BentBaastard · 24/04/2019 20:00

Ds17 is off to Avengers tonight.

Won’t be in until 4am!! It’s a one off.

SinkGirl · 24/04/2019 20:01

At 17? Defo! My 14 year old is going tonight but because it doesn't start till after midnight it won't finish till 3/3.30. She's old enough to deal with the tiredness

I would double check with the cinema - when I used to work in one, midnight showings were over 18s only no matter the certificate, would be awful if they don’t let her in!

applesarerroundandshiny · 24/04/2019 20:01

That would be a yes for me as a one off.

Disfordarkchocolate · 24/04/2019 20:01

At 17 I wouldn't be expecting to make the decision, as long as he wasn't expecting me to pick him up.

thirdfiddle · 24/04/2019 20:02

Speaking as someone who was prone to doing GCSE coursework at 3am the night before it was due or failing to put down a book I'd picked up until a similar hour, and didn't break my straight A record, I say go for it. Going out to something fun is a much healthier reason for staying up late!

Zoflorabore · 24/04/2019 20:05

He will be fine if it's a one off.

Last year when ds was 15, he got home from Cyprus at 3am, went to bed and got up at 7 for a shower and went to school for his GCSE drama set piece. It wasn't ideal timing but he did it and was more than fine.

When I'm making decisions with ds ( now 16 ) I try to put myself in his shoes and remember what I was like at 16. I certainly knew best

CanYouHelpFindThis · 24/04/2019 20:05

Threads like this amaze me.
At 17. I'm honestly surprised he asked.
How long are you going to be in total control of him?

I was working full time at 16 in a manager role in charge of people and alot of money.

thelastgoldeneagle · 24/04/2019 20:06

Let your ds go! Your dh is unreasonable.

BlokeHereInPeace · 24/04/2019 20:06

Bizarre decision. He will soon learn to stop asking for permission to do things and then you won't know where he is. And you have probably humiliated him to his mates.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 24/04/2019 20:06

Is it endgame? because it will be much later than 12:30...

Everydaypeople · 24/04/2019 20:06

As a one off and a trip to the cinema I would definitely say yes.

Dvg · 24/04/2019 20:06

Tell you what, if you were my parents you wouldn't have much of a relationship with me once i had moved out.

Your all treating him like a child... hes 17 o_0 he could join the army right now if he wanted.

whitehalleve · 24/04/2019 20:09

It's just one night. It's fine.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 24/04/2019 20:10

At 16 I was going to (and playing) gigs in other cities getting the megabus home and falling into bed at 2am. And managing to get my A levels.

Let him go to the film. Don't squash him.

TheresWaldo · 24/04/2019 20:11

My dd wanted to go tonight but the showing finishes at 11.30. As she's 15 no way is she coming home on her own at that hour and I want to be in bed way before then. She will go Friday instead. At 17 with friend bringing him home, no bother at all.

SoyDora · 24/04/2019 20:11

At 17 I worked in a hotel bar until 1am (or later) every Monday night. I managed 3 A grades at A level and went to an excellent uni.
I don’t think I’d have even asked my parents at that age, just let them know what I was doing out of courtesy.

wLuytgNx · 24/04/2019 20:12

He is 17...... he actually told you/asked you beforehand and didn't plan to just sneak out and do it anyway. He is going to resent you for it, how embarrassing for him in front his friends to tell them mum/dad said no ... he is 17 ! As long as he has a safe way of getting home at that time in the morning then I don't see an issue. Is it because he is going to disturb you and OH when he gets in and therefore it's you that are both going to be tired.

I feel sorry for him

bellinisurge · 24/04/2019 20:12

As a one off - and I am a stickler for getting enough sleep - it's fine. Part of growing up.

Lalliella · 24/04/2019 20:13

Definitely let him do it. DD13 is going on a school theatre trip and getting home at 11.30 on a school night, it didn’t occur to me to bat an eyelid. Is it the new Marvel film by any chance? He’s got to see it!

caughtinanet · 24/04/2019 20:16

What's wrong with your DH? I feel sorry for your DS, he's being treated like a 5 year old with his parent setting his bedtime and controlling his social life, way to build resentment

Haffiana · 24/04/2019 20:19

Something wrong with your DH. Empathy-wise, I mean.

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