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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

559 replies

scarbados · 24/04/2019 13:14

We moved to a small coastal town from a big city 3 years ago and were happy with the idea that we'd probably have friends visiting, especially during summer. We have a spare room with ensuite bathroom and it's always ready for visitors.

If people are staying, they're welcome to join us in whatever we do, go their own way or a mixture. Sometimes they eat with us, other times they eat out and at others we all eat out together. We never expect them to pay for our meals but it's nice when they do. Neither do we ever expect payment from our guests.

But ... the couple due to arrive tomorrow for 3 nights have just messaged me and asked me to make sure there's white bread and strawberry jam here for their breakfasts, and a carton of orange juice because she doesn't drink tea or coffee. (There's a supermarket at the end of the road which will be open when they get here so they could pick up their own stuff when they arrive.) Then I got a second message from the male of the pairing asking me to 'please make sure there's a clean throw over the sofa and the cat doesn't sit on it before they arrive' as after the last visit he noticed cat hair on his jeans. I use a pet hair brush daily on the sofa as I know the cat loves to sleep on it. He doesn't sit on any of the other chairs in the house, where the guest could easliy sit but he prefers the sofa.

I feel like suggesting he does his own shopping and brings a clothes brush, or books into one of the many hotels in town. He's getting 3 nights free accommodation and fed for at least 4 meals while he's here and seems to be trying to set out a list of requirements I have to meet.

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and tempted to tell them I'll book a hotel room on their behalf and they're paying for it?

OP posts:
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Eatmtcheese · 24/04/2019 16:22

The shagging in the shower would have done it for me.

I’ve got three cats that shed like fuck. I could get the furminator brush out and send a couple of carriers of their hair down via courier tonight if you fancy? It’s tsbby and black so highly irritating and obvious 🤣🤣🤣

Roussette · 24/04/2019 16:26

We stayed with friends the other week. I had a case of local wine sent over, we brought a bottle of whisky, gifts for the kids, took them all out to dinner twice (we were staying for 3 nights) and bought a takeaway the next, left flowers and boxes of chocolate in the guest room, etc

Would you like to come and stay with me? I live in a lovely part of the country! Grin

Seriously though... whenever I read threads like this, I am gobsmacked. I welcome friends to stay from time to time, if me and other couples go out for a meal together, those friends are welcome to stay so they can have a drink.
But I wouldn't dream of having work colleagues stay for 4 days 3 nights, feed them, run around after them etc. Perhaps I'm just a horrible person or maybe I'm not taken for a fool
sorry OP but read the consensus on here, you're too nice for your own good

Serenity45 · 24/04/2019 16:33

Cheeky bastards YANBU! Definitely confusing you with a guest house. I'd be tempted to breezily reply that you've already been shopping, but they'll be passing the shop / cat is an occupational hazard as per pps above.

We stay with friends who live on the coast a few times a year (they come to us as well to be fair) and I wouldn't dream of being such an entitled lazy twat.

outpinked · 24/04/2019 16:34

Guessing it’s Scarborough from the username, I live close to Scarbs myself.

I can’t actually believe some people are this cheeky. I’d struggle to stay in a friend’s home without insisting on paying for food and also buying them a gift. I can’t believe they demanded you buy them certain foods. Seriously ditch them and tell them to find a bloody hotel.

SingingSands · 24/04/2019 17:10

Do they think you're an Air B&B?

How rude of them!

Please invent an excuse to stop them coming to stay - mice infestation in the guest room?!

NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 24/04/2019 17:12

Ach, Rousette, our mates are Irish and man, they even brought gifts when they came to a city a couple of hours from our home and we went over to meet them (we did, too! Grin). They are incredibly generous and wonderful hosts. We stayed another night with another friend nearby and brought gifts and insisted on taking them to dinner. I mean, duh! Who would go and demand food and rip the piss like that? That's shocking.

Dustyroad63 · 24/04/2019 17:25

As a pp said Please please keep us updated if they do come and stay.
Love the CF threads they are my favourite mn treat!

MrsMozartMkII · 24/04/2019 17:35

They've taken CF-ery to a whole new level!

peppaprat · 24/04/2019 18:23

Omg! I'm flabbergasted there are people as rude as this!

Are you seriously still hosting them op? The shower shagging would have been enough for me to ignore any messages from them and drop the fuckers.

Shock who behaves like that?!

Erythronium · 24/04/2019 18:25

You can't have them back for an eighth time OP. You just can't. You don't need to open your home to all-comers just because you live in a lovely place people want to visit.

justthecat · 24/04/2019 18:32

You’re going to have to cut ties sooner or later or this will go on forever, I’d choose now.

Babuchak · 24/04/2019 18:36

That is beyond rude, well done on telling them you've already done your shopping.

Unless allergy or genuine medical or religious reason at a push, no guest has any right to request anything.

Mia184 · 24/04/2019 18:50

Op please keep us updated during their visit!

Easterbunnyhashoppedoff · 24/04/2019 18:54

Maybe invite the closest mners and have a welcome committee waiting - All with famous mn phrases.
Did you mean to be so rude dguest? And such like!
All ones who can bring a dcat obviously!!

museumsandgalleries666 · 24/04/2019 19:16

Don't respond. after they arrive and query why you haven't stocked up / de-pussied per their instructions just laugh heartily and say you thought it was a windup . Take it from there and please report back with full fallout details Grin

Smokeahontas · 24/04/2019 19:29

I would rub the cat all over their bed

I am weeping at this Grin

AlexaAmbidextra · 24/04/2019 19:43

I would rub the cat all over their bed

I am weeping at this grin

Me too. I’m picturing the indignant look on the cat’s face as he’s wooshed up and down the duvet. 😹

S1naidSucks · 24/04/2019 19:52

I would take a photo of the cat lying across the bed and send it to them.

Actually have any of your neighbours got a few cats? I’d tempt them all in with a tin of tuna and take a photo of a gang of them lounging around the room. 😈

Shrewbie · 24/04/2019 19:57

Text back saying "please go to the bank for cash to pay me back for the bread and jam, I need it straight up please, and please pop to the shop to buy your toilet roll, we've run out by the time you get here, oh and please note it's expected for you to clean the place before you leave otherwise you'll get an invoice from our cleaner."

willstarttomorrow · 24/04/2019 20:11

I would send a passive aggressive message back from your cat as I assume they are actually head of the household? But I am quite immature like that.

longtimelurkerhelen · 24/04/2019 20:17

@museumsandgalleries666

de-pussied per their instructions Grin Grin Grin

Bookworm4 · 24/04/2019 21:23

Dear Jammy Bastards
Please book into a hotel as my home in all its cat fluffiness and lack of cunty bread is no longer available.
Yours Scarbados Cat
P.S my human says you're a pair of CF 😸

managedmis · 24/04/2019 21:25

Are you kidding or what?

Just tell them not to come

Hmm
sackrifice · 24/04/2019 21:30

I cannot believe you haven't told them to fuck off.

Whoopstheregomyinsides · 24/04/2019 21:30

People never cease to amaze me. How dare they ask you to get specific stuff in! And not be taking you for meals and buying all the shopping while they stay? CCCCFs