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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

559 replies

scarbados · 24/04/2019 13:14

We moved to a small coastal town from a big city 3 years ago and were happy with the idea that we'd probably have friends visiting, especially during summer. We have a spare room with ensuite bathroom and it's always ready for visitors.

If people are staying, they're welcome to join us in whatever we do, go their own way or a mixture. Sometimes they eat with us, other times they eat out and at others we all eat out together. We never expect them to pay for our meals but it's nice when they do. Neither do we ever expect payment from our guests.

But ... the couple due to arrive tomorrow for 3 nights have just messaged me and asked me to make sure there's white bread and strawberry jam here for their breakfasts, and a carton of orange juice because she doesn't drink tea or coffee. (There's a supermarket at the end of the road which will be open when they get here so they could pick up their own stuff when they arrive.) Then I got a second message from the male of the pairing asking me to 'please make sure there's a clean throw over the sofa and the cat doesn't sit on it before they arrive' as after the last visit he noticed cat hair on his jeans. I use a pet hair brush daily on the sofa as I know the cat loves to sleep on it. He doesn't sit on any of the other chairs in the house, where the guest could easliy sit but he prefers the sofa.

I feel like suggesting he does his own shopping and brings a clothes brush, or books into one of the many hotels in town. He's getting 3 nights free accommodation and fed for at least 4 meals while he's here and seems to be trying to set out a list of requirements I have to meet.

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and tempted to tell them I'll book a hotel room on their behalf and they're paying for it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
BlackCatSleeping · 25/04/2019 00:38

I would cancel too.

I think you need to have a word with yourself. It's great to be hospitable and friendly, but you need to stick up for yourself more. Don't let people treat you like shit. You're worth more than that.

AliceRR · 25/04/2019 00:40

So rude of them

Did they reply to your message OP?

MustShowDH · 25/04/2019 00:41

I want to know what they reply to your text!

CF's!

ReanimatedSGB · 25/04/2019 00:41

I'm always gobsmacked by CFs like this, as well. Mind you, I'm allergic to dogs and cats so I always ask about pets if invited to stay and politely decline if there is more than one in the house (because I will just feel shitty the whole stay and it won't be fun for anyone.) Apart from crashing over after a party when I'll have had a couple of drinks which a) reduce the allergic reaction and b) mean I don't care if it does kick in.

Ruru8thestars · 25/04/2019 00:48

The cheek of them!

OwnerOfThatChocolateBar · 25/04/2019 00:56

Send them in the direction of 'The Grand' Wink

incogneto · 25/04/2019 01:16

Tell them to fuck off and find a hotel!

alltoomuchrightnow · 25/04/2019 01:46

My pale cat is moulting like fuck at the moment. I can build about 5 new cats a day from it. Please let me send you some cat hair so you have extra there just in case Scarbados Cat is not producing enough

lunar1 · 25/04/2019 02:12

I can't believe people are actually like this! WTF is wrong with them.

ALittleBitofVitriol · 25/04/2019 02:35

"I'm sorry, your free bed in a mates house doesn't come with room or maid service. Hmm"

mathanxiety · 25/04/2019 02:55

How do you wheedle out the genuine friends?

By reading their texts, it seems.

Limpshade · 25/04/2019 03:58

I'm flabbergasted you've had them back at all after their first visit, let alone a further six times Shock

Belenus · 25/04/2019 06:47

I have access to a lot of horsehair that I can donate. Some of it I'll keep for nesting birds but there's lots left over.

Roussette · 25/04/2019 07:57

Why on earth do you have to make up excuses like burst pipes or family coming to stay. You could just say 'this isn't going to work for us' if you don't want to confront the situation.

Happynow001 · 25/04/2019 08:57

1Wildheartsease
AND
'PS Since he will be sharing with you, the cat would like to know if your flea/tick treatment is up-to-date
🤣😂

They've stayed before and have been borderline CF - the one time in 6 visits whey brought us a gift, it was a £5 bottle of wine even though they know we don't drink alcolhol
Wow OP. SIX visits and they were borderline CFs the first time? Potential sex in the shower on their first visit??! You are a lot nicer than I could have been! Do stop hosting this rude, ungrateful, entitled pair! The cat will thank you for it. 🐱

HelloYouTwo · 25/04/2019 09:01

6 previous visits and 1 bottle of £5 wine tonday thank you???? You’re being had.

See them for what they are and tell them now the visit is cancelled. They are NOT your friends, they are users.

Happynow001 · 25/04/2019 09:27

nonevernotever
Thankfully next time they got in touch to book their visit dh got to phone before me and told them exactly what he thought of their behaviour
I hope you've taken a leaf out of your DH's book for any cheeky encroachers in future. People will often, I generally find, only treat you as badly as you let them. As illustrated by the OP's rude "guests".

LordWheresMyShoes · 25/04/2019 10:28

Please update us, OP! AndI for the love of all things seasidey, please don't let them stay again!

If also like to continue to the cat hair fund - DM your address and I'll post you some from my cat Wink

scarbados · 25/04/2019 10:29

Today's update and a bit of passive aggressive behaviour to report. Grin

When we went into the spare bedroom last night to take some stored stuff out, the cat went in and made a nest on the duvet. I've just smoothed it out this morning but it's probably coverd in cat hair.

And I swapped the throw on the sofa for the nasty cheap one my MIL bought us a few years ago and we never use because it sheds it's nasty fake fur bits like crazy. It will be worth the extra hoovering when they've gone. But guess where the cat's curled up to sleep? Grin

For those who asked about other guests - they all behave beautifully and I don't feel used by them. It's just these 2 - she was a friend for a long time but he's only been on the scene for about 4 years and is a huge PITA. But the deal's broken now. they can stay this once then that's it.

OP posts:
ItsAGo · 25/04/2019 10:35

After your previous update I really wouldn’t let them stay again, or if anyone changes to be like them then they can fuck off. If the friendship is over I’d actually tell them to leave today.

Easterbunnyhashoppedoff · 25/04/2019 10:39

Tell them the for bits off the throw are due to the dcat having mange!

Tinkoschminko · 25/04/2019 10:51

Tell them to put a throw over any furniture they’ve furtively shagged on because you’d DH doesn’t like getting pubes on his clothes.

FriarTuck · 25/04/2019 10:52

Your cat is secretly on Mumsnet....

RestingBitchFaced · 25/04/2019 11:04

Can't believe you haven't told them to fuck off to be honest. Can you get brown bread, marmite and apple juice in for them and hide any jam/white bread you may have?

Erythronium · 25/04/2019 11:13

Your cat knows..... it's just taken you a while to catch up.

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