To think more people that we realise have separate beds - and that may be a good thing!

[thiscannotbenormal]

I have, somehow, been discovering that quite a few of my long time married friend have separate bedrooms to their Husbands.

I am wondering if this is more common than first thought.
It makes a lot of sense when you think about it. If you have the room then a bed to yourself sounds great- all the room, all the blankets, no unidentified man smells, reading in bed until late, not having to watch shed and bloody buried ..............AIBU to think this may be the ideal?

Since DS2 came along (4.5 years ago) DH and I have slept in separate beds most of the time. DS2 was a terrible sleeper so we took in turns to be on duty with him. DH snores loudly and is a light sleeper, so he was waking me up so much we were both exhausted. We are all happier when we've slept well. We still 'go to bed' together and have a chat/cuddle/DTD but then he usually gets up and goes to sleep in the other room. It's great, lol!

My husband and I gave up sharing even a bedroom about 15 years ago!

Can't say it has had any sort of detrimental effect on our love life!

We're still keen on intimacy too such as holding hands cuddling etc - but sleep is vital - I would have killed him by now if I still had to share a bed with him!

I shipped my husband into the guest room years ago.

It is a dream come true, my sleeping partner is either one of my kids or (preferably) my dog.

I'd kill for separate beds but we don't have a spare room. I am a light sleeper and my partner is a very heavy breather and snores. I thought I would get used to sharing a bed but I hate. If I could I would.

13 years of separate rooms here. I'd have killed him years ago if we'd had to share due to his sleep apneoa and snoring.

My husband's snoring is exacerbated by drinking (no surprise there) and we would have divorced years ago if we had to sleep together.

Same here. It's so lovely having space and quiet!

I always Thought it was something the elderly did. Then my husband was.ill for a time and decamped to our spare room. We both got the sleep we.needed without interruptions from snoring or someone getting up in the night. We each had a big bed to ourselves. I got to read in bed. Husband got to have his beloved tv in the bedroom.

He got better and we assumed we'd move back in together. But then we had a chat and admitted we both really liked it the way things were. Our sex life has not suffered at all.

I know a few with separate bedrooms and bathrooms. Perfect set up, I think.

My dad's parents always had 2 twin beds, however they shared the same room. They were absolutely head over heels for each other throughout their 67 year marriage.

We’ve just been lucky enough to move to a larger house. Being able to have a spare bed for the nights we need to sleep separately has been wonderful!

We always go to bed in ‘our’ bed, but four or five times a week DH will head to the spare because if the kids cry out and we wake up, it takes him ages to get back to sleep.

A great idea. We hardly ever share a bed due to shift work (people getting in late/up early and potentially waking the others) and DC ends up in our bed. No detrimental effects at all.
A female acquaintance was scandalised by separate beds but she is one of those people who does all the little things “right” ie looks good on Instagram but the husbands an arsehole.

Never mind separate beds,separate rooms are the way to go. separate houses are even better

We love having separate beds!

I don't think it ever occur to me to ask other people about their sleeping arrangements!
We've always slept in separate bedrooms for the first 3 months or more of a new baby, no need to wake 2 people up, and we tend to sleep in separate rooms if we are ill, so I can't see why it would be an issue if life was easier with a permanent arrangement.
I'd rather sleep in the same bed as my DH at the moment though, and TV are banned from upstairs so no issue there.

When I lived out my mum took my room, they both snore and my dad has serious wind problems 😂 so she is much happier in her own room.

One set of grandparents also had seperate rooms when their kids moved out.

I personally don't like it. We have slept separate before when one of us has been ill/drinking/arguing, and whilst I do get a better nights sleep, I just find it comforting knowing DH is there next to me. Strange I know!

I really love sleeping next to my husband. He doesn’t snore or hog the blankets and is so warm in the winter, he’s a bonus in bed. If he snored, he’d be sleeping in a different room most definitely!

But who makes you tea in the morning ?

We have separate beds and are relatively young couple (early 30s) I worried it was a sign of failing marriage at first but actually we are both better for it. My DH is a shit sleeper and sleeps better in his own bed. We start together then he will often decamp into spare bed. Then I hop in with him or him with me in the morning. I’ve realised that although at first I missed sharing the bed making sure we both had decent sleep was way more important in us being happy

I would love my own room but my DH would hate it. We never watch TV or read in bed and only sleep in another room if one of us is ill. I don’t have any friends who sleep apart either - unless they do secretly.

I'd only move in with someone else if I had my own room I think. And my own bathroom.

I sleep really lightly and can't bear being woken up randomly. And I really need my sleep these days.

separate houses are even better
hell no, who would kill the spiders!

We have separate rooms and I know a few other people who do. It just makes sense for us for lots of reasons already mentioned. We have a close, secure and happy marriage that hasn't been affected at all by this.