To ask for helping calming my 1 year old down, scared and desperate!

[UpsyDaaaisy]

Wrong topic i know but im pretty desperate! For the last half an hour my 14 month old had been absolutely hysterical crying, kicking his legs, arms, crawling up to the wall and banging his head on it, i gave him a bottle and he's thrown it away and carried on banging himself. Ive tried TV, phone, food everything. I cant pick him as he stiffens and launches foward and wriggles making it dangerous. I can't get anywhere near him to take temp. Ive just had to leave him on the carpet screaming throwing things around. Im worried hes going to hurt himself and have no idea wtf this is!

What can i do? Nothing is helping and genuinly worried about him

Put him in the shower with some toys. It always calmed my kids down.

differentname i didn't, when he struggled in my arms i put him straight down

@UpsyDaaaisy I know. I was responding to the advice here saying to restrain him/move him etc. Albeit very well-meaning, in your son's case it may well just escalate and prolong things.

I have been dealing with this for 10yrs, only 3 post diagnosis and I have made my fair share of wrong turns, mostly before dx, but some after. In my dd's case touch is an absolute NO NO while mid meltdown.

It increased her discomfort considerably, it does more harm than good.

Of course, you know your child better, and must do what is best for him. But considering how he reacted when you picked him up, Id say hands off sounds the best option.

How are you both today? How does he seem?

Ooooh - that's reminded me that I used to put fractal patterns on my laptop for my son to watch when he was really struggling. With John Martyn's 'Solid Air' to listen to rather than the weird music on the videos. They are weirdly soothing and there were a few times my husband would come home and we'd both be in a sort of fractal trance!

differentname ah ok thanks, I guess its a hard thing to give advice on unless you can actually see if that makes sense? How has having a diagnosis changed things compared to before when you weren't sure? Obviously in this case its far too early to tell im just curious.

He's been a bit better today, happened again but this time it helped watching telly and bouncing up and down, it seems to change everytime! He has come out with a bad rash literally head to toe on every part of his body today so i think that explains it a little and dosing up on calpol has helped a bit today. The doctor said its viral (as always).

Thing is is he always seems to be poorly, he had a measles rash from his MMR, then a chest infection, then a virus, then teething, back to a virus just feels never ending at the moment and he's got another set of jabs next week so its hard to tell really whats causing it

My 15 month old get likes this at times. Often at night like ‘terrors’ and actually touching, cuddling, stroking make it worse. I have figured out it’s when she’s absolutely exhausted at the end of the day or if she wakes prematurely at night and any stimulation angers her further sending her into a rage.

I offer her warm milk. If she screams and throws it I put her in her cot with pillows and soft blankets and gently say ‘sush sush, mummy’s here darling’ in a really calm and gentle soothing voice while she thrashes around.

Eventually she flops onto one of the pillows or picks up the milk and drinks it and falls into a deep sleep. It can last an hour but if i pick her up or touch her it can go on much longer.

At this age they just can’t deal with their emotions and it escalates. They need to know you are there but some babies when they are in that state absolutely do not want to be touched.

I doubt there is anything wrong. Some children do this and some don’t and they grow out of it.

The diagnosis helped us in the way that we knew there was a reason for her behaviour. We had the usual family interference, and I would always excuse it "she's only three/four/five" and I was at my wits end.

After a very stressful time at school one year we realized that there had to be more to it. And low and behold, sensory processing disorder and ASD. My parenting changed totally, I relaxed, wasn't as anxious myself and we have noted some improvements. Very slow, but there are some.

Dd1 is SO laid back, and easy to take anywhere, do anything with, we would go away for the weekend after dh finished work, just pack up and get a B&B. She would sleep in her pushchair if we were out. Dd2 is NOT that portable, she never sleeps (without help, anyway) and is SO strong willed.

Sorry to hear he is so poorly. Of course, that may be the reason, and I may be totally wrong for bring up the ASD/meltdown side of things. Only you know your son.

Good luck, I hope he is better soon.

differentname I can imagine having an explanation for certain behaviours helped massively and was a huge relief. It sounds challenging but rewarding im sure .

As it turns out the rash wasn't viral (was completely different to the viral rash he had before so i went back the next day). It was actually a delayed reaction to the antibiotics he had been taking the week before. The doctor also heard a slight heart murmur which is being checked out and he is now on antihistamines. Im sure all of this had some part in how he behaved that day. Thank you so much everyone for your advice

While I can see this behaviour is like a meltdown, it’s the first time it’s happened. Bit early t9 rush to diagnosis. My neuro-typical DD has tantrums like those described for about 6 months when she was around the same age. They stopped eventually. Any attempt to soothe her just made it worse. They had to run their course and actually ignoring seemed to help (marginally). You can’t actually ignore, of course, for safety reasons, but I had to give the appearance of ignoring. It is both scary and distressing.

My DD HAD tantrums like this. She’s 22now.