To ask for helping calming my 1 year old down, scared and desperate!

[UpsyDaaaisy]

Wrong topic i know but im pretty desperate! For the last half an hour my 14 month old had been absolutely hysterical crying, kicking his legs, arms, crawling up to the wall and banging his head on it, i gave him a bottle and he's thrown it away and carried on banging himself. Ive tried TV, phone, food everything. I cant pick him as he stiffens and launches foward and wriggles making it dangerous. I can't get anywhere near him to take temp. Ive just had to leave him on the carpet screaming throwing things around. Im worried hes going to hurt himself and have no idea wtf this is!

What can i do? Nothing is helping and genuinly worried about him

When my daughter has been like this I’ve put her somewhere safe, given calpol and usually she will fall asleep and has been exhausted! She rarely does it and it’s always related to illness whether she’s getting over something or coming down with something!

Thank you everyone for your replies! The TV was already on, i played his favourite song which distracted him for a bit but has carried on. His temperature is normal and there is nothing physical I can see on the outside. He has calmed down alot now and is nearly back to normal bar a few sniffles and whines. I was so worried because he was really going for it!

He has just finished a course of antibiotics for a chest infection but hasn't been like this during it if that makes sense?

I think you should take him out in the buggy for a walk. Fresh air might calm him down a bit more and he may go to sleep.
If he is feeling under the weather that would be good for him.

Best thing to do in this situation is turn off tv, make sure everything is quiet and calm and dark if possible, and take them to bed and just hold them tightly. They soon stop wriggling and start to sob at which point you can offer comfort - dummy/bottle/boob/comforter/whatever your child prefers. My little boy has tantrums like this sparked by something tiny but made twenty times worse if he's over tired and over stimulated.

I'd try pain killers in case it's teething pain or an ear infection

crazybunnylady we were about to go to the shop when it started! I couldn't strap him into his pram when he was being how he was, we are still going to go out after his lunch x

Put Peppa Pig on to take his mind off screaming then you can start again, are his molars coming through?

This sounds like my DDs reaction to some teeth coming through. I sometimes have to hold her down to get neurofen into her, and 15 minutes later she’s fine

I agree that it sounds like a meltdown, my son used to have frequent meltdowns, he needed consistent routine, any changes to his routine would overwhelm him. He was also very sensitive to noise/ smells/ textures etc. I agree that a bubble bath might help, sensory play always calmed my son down. But first I would prevent him from hurting himself, I used to take a duvet and wrap it around him tight and rock him in my arms. The weight/ pressure and rocking motion calmed him and he would come round from his meltdown within five minutes.

As this is not the first time this has happened, I would take your son to the gp and tell them what has happened. Meltdowns are common in children on the Autistic Spectrum (my son was later diagnosed and having researched and taken part in courses that the psychologist referred us to, our son no longer has meltdowns and is better able to regulate his feelings and remove himself from situations that he finds overwhelming!)

The difference between a tantrum and a meltdown was explained to me in this way, if you ignore a child having a tantrum, they will generally calm down once they realise that they are not getting the attention they are seeking. As well as this, a child tantruming is not likely to physically hurt themselves. If a child is having a meltdown, ignoring them will not work, the meltdown will continue for a prolonged period of time, children are more likely to hurt themselves as a sensory seeking behaviour, as they want to calm down.

I would have a look online at the National Autistic society website and perhaps call their helpline for advice

www.autism.org.uk/about.aspx

ClaireElizabeth that was interesting and helpful, thank you. I will have a read of that now x

I would always take mine outside when they were stuck in a rage rut - something about feeling some fresh air and a complete change of scenery seemed to surprise them into stopping when it was just a bit of pent up rage!

Forcible cuddling. Sit down with him on your knee, his legs straddling you. Hug him closely stroke him and murmur soothing things in his ear. The screaming and spthrashing about will subside. And he’ll be exhausted. Good luxk

Meltdown, if he's hurting himself.

Thougj it could also have been a migraine or stomach migraine. I used to have them as a child and would act the same. I remember not being able to communicate what hurt so much because I didn't understand it. It just felt like my face was melting off and my eyes were full of rainbows. Makes me feel pukey even now tbh 🤢

Just a heads up, my son did this and it scared the shit out of me and only happened a few times. Turns out he was having a meltdown because he's autistic (diagnosed at 3) so just might be something to read up on x

My son also has meltdowns like this. Over he tiniest thing. Nothing you can do but wait it out :( best thing is to leave them alone, avoid any extra stimulus and provide comfort afterwards.

My Mum used to have almighty tantrums as a child turning blue at times. She had a vitamin deficiency.
My son had a tantrum once when he was about 18 months. It was so bad he went limp and completely lifeless. It scared the life out of me. Both my Mum and Son are ok but it's very scary.
Let him cry it out as long as he is safe and talk it over with the gp.

At this age playing Yo-yo ma cello concertos was a god send - used to completely distract my Boy - sounds weird but there was something about the sound that was both distracting and calming at the same time

This does not sound like a tantrum. Not sustained self injurious behaviour against a wall.

Then there is the not wanting to be held, touched. Nothing making a difference.

Next time (if) that occurs, op you need to put a cushion between him and the wall, let him hit the cushion.

No noise/stimulation or very little...soothing music is best, or something he likes (we use Dantdm talking on YouTube for dd's meltdowns - she knows his voice and he is predictable. She never has liked music/singing)

Space, and time to come out themselves. Do not rush them.

Reassurance that you are there, and that you understand

Readiness to catch them when the fall out starts

No point taking his temp while he is doing this either, he will be warmer because he is burning energy. Always best to wait until he has calmed to get an accurate reading.

Plus, to him it would feel very invasive mid meltdown

I agree though, if this is out of character, and you can see an intimidate trigger then please get him cheeked out. And this may be for other reason than to have on file with the dr that he has begun self injurious behaviour.

*Infographic and further information here

*The fall out being the sobbing, the pain from the self injurious behavior etc

Please don't forcibly hold him either. If it is a sensory overload it will not help! We find if we try to help dd, or hurry her along with physical touching, it made her worse. He already indicated he didn't wan to be held by throwing himself forward while in your arms.