To occasionally have a FB stalk of my ex?

[jellyfloodinsurance]

Does everybody still do this? Or am I grade-A bonkers?

Just had a little peruse of an ex that I split up with 12 years ago. It was a bad bad relationship. He and I brought out the worst in each other and he vanished off the map for a while.

All of a sudden he popped up in my "people you may know" on facebook and, over the last few months, I've occasionally had a bit of a fb stalk out of curiosity. I would never add him nor want to see him again, but I really just wonder about him sometimes despite being a happily married mum with my dream job.

Tell me I'm not the only one?

You're not alone, I do this too! Funnily enough mine was also 12 years ago. He was an utterly abusive arsehole, and it makes me so angry that he's living a lavish lifestyle with an incredible job and tonnes of money, because he deserves none of it. That said, he has two failed marriages and never really looks happy, whereas I am very happily married, with a beautiful DS and a DD due next week, so I think I won the jackpot, not him

Mine was also abusive and had substance issues too. He ended up in prison for a while after we split as well. He does look like he's sorted out his life and I am genuinely happy for him. He was a state long before he met me.

It's a bit like scratching a mosquito bite though. I look thinking my curiosity will be fulfilled but it just leaves me feeling itchy, uncomfortable and unsatisfied.

Surely everyone does this sometimes. Sheer curiosity!

Doesn't everyone?

Yeah, but I also do it with people I used to work with, or went to school with. I'm just nosey.

Yeah, I occasionally do this and recently found the obituary of my first boyfriend.

Had mine turn up in my insta suggestions last week. Cue me rushing through every account I have, blocking him from seeing I even HAVE insta (lucky for me also, he doesn't know my current number but I still have his because of the way they're attached to email accounts, so he won't have gotten suggestions for ME)

I don't like to see him, or any of the others I'm not actually genuine friends with still. I don't need to, it's a psychological hole waiting to happen.

@PickAChew oh gosh that's awful.

I honestly have never done this. No interest in it at all. Once im done, I'm completely done.

I know from speaking to friends and sisters I'm in the minority - a lot of them regularly stalk their exes social media.

All of a sudden he popped up in my "people you may know" on facebook

Maybe he creeped on your page first.

I creeped on my ex husband of 23 years earlier today. Saw his mother in town and it made me curious

This is normal surely? I have had a look at a three ex,s who meant the most to me I have no.intention of getting in touch with any of them just natural curiosity one of them is Facebook friends with a good friend of mine completely independently which is werd!

I'm feeling a bit funny about it tonight though, where I wouldn't have before. This ex and I had a contraceptive failure when we were teens. We decided at the time we were definitely not ready for a child and I had a termination. I've gone onto get married and have two wonderful kids. I've never regretted the decision (though obviously I still feel sad about it and always will).

This evening I thought I'd have a look and discovered he's having a baby with his partner and my first thought was that would have been our child's sibling. Then I wondered if he thought about what happened. And then I thought about it ever thinks about me. I blocked him as it doesn't feel very healthy to have those thoughts.

It's probably best not to think.About It you made the best decision in the circumstances .

It was such a knee jerk reaction though it took me by surprise. I think a good bout of I do boa and over analysing isn't helping.

Insomnia even.

No.probably not,thing is if things had been different you might have had the child ,but not the children you have now ? Same for him it must have been a hard choice for you but it was for the best.

Everyone has a little stalk.

Just be mindful though, when someone crops up in the people you may know section, it's because they've searched you, or you've been searching them... so remember that you'll appear on others when you search them!

I found this out by searching in my new bosses name, so I knew what she looked like when she turned up at the office. She is from out the area without a single mutual friend, or reason to link us... luckily she found it funny and let me know of my error!

Yes you're not alone and I've left fb since. It made me realise what an infantile twat he was and what a lucky escape I had

Yanbu OP we all secretly do it. I occasionally fb stalk then have a laugh what was I thinking dating that ! I'm a cow

I think most people do, don't they? I did a few weeks ago. He's seeing someone 30 years younger than he is, he has not aged well and he looks like her grandfather.

Anyone you search will have you pop up on their 'people you may know' and visa versa so if they're on yours then theyve been nosing first (unless you have lots of mutual friends) but you'll also pop up on theirs.
I think everyone does this tho... facebook memories are the worst for sparking it

And this is why I have my privacy set to friends only on FB. I know I'm nosy, I assume most other people are as well!

YANBU! I am on maternity leave and have FB stalked loads of people I used to know whilst the baby is sleeping on my lap and I’ve been bored!

Wow OP your post got me going checking out quite a few old flames. The best is twitter as you can't see who has looked at you. Facebook shows in the possible friends as others have said and LinkedIn is the worst as it shows you viewed them. I did that by mistake on one bloke. Damn.

OMG you've just reminded me about a LinkedIn snafu.

I had the marketing team at a business I used to work at use my LinkedIn profile for lead sourcing. They managed to use it to contact one of my old ex-bfs who was a sales director at a company. Obviously they didn't know this and sent a generic message as "me" and he came back saying "OMG I miss you. I treated you so badly..." then went into graphic detail about some of our encounters. Thankfully marketing team thought he was just having a giggle trying to get out of being sold too but it was all very graphic and very true.