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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cake-gate

529 replies

8Wina4 · 23/04/2019 23:59

I work in an office environment, in a team of around 20. Before the Easter weekend, I was chatting in the staff room on a break about how I've recently really got into baking, and one of my colleagues jokingly said that she wouldn't mind if I bought some cake to work for her to try. I promised I'd bring some home made cakes in after Easter.

Fast forward to today. I take in four different homemade cakes. I also took in some little vegan cake bites from Tesco, as we have 2 vegans in the office and I wanted them to be able to eat something nice too (everything I baked had flour/eggs in)

One of the vegans approached me at lunch, and told me that she was really disappointed that I hadn't made the effort to home bake anything vegan, and that I had promised homemade cakes, so I should have provided that for everyone. She said she didn't like the vegan cakes I'd bought from Tesco, and that she was fed up with being left out of team lunches/treats.

I was a bit taken aback, so apologised. But the more I think about it, the more I think she was actually the unreasonable one...

Thoughts?

OP posts:
PreseaCombatir · 24/04/2019 12:46

You made four cakes and I do think at least one of those could have been vegan

I’m not being goody, but... why?
OP is not catering for people, she made a selection of cakes, which she has presumably made before, because she enjoys making them.
Why should she be expected To be fussing around with ingredients and methods she’s not comfortable with?
You can google a recipe easily, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to come out well on the first ever attempt? Why should OP waste excess time and money?
A previous poster said she would feel ‘othered’.
Seriously? I’m so baffled by the levels of entitlement on here.

TheLastNigel · 24/04/2019 12:46

And she is why lots of people think vegans are annoying...

MyCatHatesEverybody · 24/04/2019 12:48

This vegan chocolate fudge cake by Nigella is amazing, I used to make it for my DSD when she went through a vegan phase but it's so good it's now my go-to choc fudge cake regardless who's eating it:

www.bbc.com/food/recipes/dark_and_sumptuous_53597

I leave out the espresso because I don't like it, and sub the coconut butter in the icing for regular vegan spread.

MarshaBradyo · 24/04/2019 12:48

Did she eat those vegan cakes you bought with your money?

How irritating she is!

Yura · 24/04/2019 12:54

@BertrandRussell of course! a) allergies are not a choice and b) loads of conventional cakes don’t have chocolate in it.
Now, if my hobby would have been making home made truffles - i would have just gotten something store bought because its not an easy adaptation

BertrandRussell · 24/04/2019 12:58

I just think that if you can do it without putting yourself massively out you try to accommodate everyone. Not after the rudeness, of course-all bets are off then- but before.

Biancadelrioisback · 24/04/2019 13:08

I have a 'stash' of ingredients I use for baking. I buy in bulk so they can stay in my cupboard and I can bake when I feel like it using what I have.
For me, if I had to make a vegan cake, I would need to buy new ingredients which means a trip to the shop and spending money plus the added hassle of trying a brand new untested recipe. I would feel uncomfortable presenting something to people which I wasn't confident in.

snowdrop6 · 24/04/2019 13:10

Oh my god
I’m vegan
How dare she...how rude to your kindness .
I would of been thrilled to been thought of as a vegan and remembered by you .u didn’t need to get vegan Tesco cakes ,you did because your kind .
Nasty and grabby woman.

BertrandRussell · 24/04/2019 13:13

“For me, if I had to make a vegan cake, I would need to buy new ingredients ”

No, you wouldn’t!

BertrandRussell · 24/04/2019 13:15

Incidentally, as an interesting note- the OP’s Rude Woman is, as far as I can see, the only rude vegan anywhere near this thread. The same cannot be said of non vegans!

Yura · 24/04/2019 13:17

@BertrandRussell i would (and do). you need to have some sort of vegetable oil to fo vegan cakes. olive oil isn’t great. i do have regular vegetable oil, that is exclusively used for baking. otherwise its olive oil, my frying oils are flavoured (mainly garlic) or dairy based.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 24/04/2019 13:17

I just think that if you can do it without putting yourself massively out you try to accommodate everyone.

OP did try to accommodate everyone though. She bought vegan cakes for the vegans!

prettybird · 24/04/2019 13:17

My "vegan" recipe would need me to go out and buy extra ingredients. I only have strongly flavoured olive oil in the house. I suppose I could use the very old vegetable or sunflower oil that is lurking at the back of the cupboard, but then the cake would taste rancid Hmm

Believe, me I know as I once made a "Death by chocolate" cake using old oil Blush

Yura · 24/04/2019 13:19

@prettybird same for me (itried to use olive oild though - yuk!)

Aeroflotgirl · 24/04/2019 13:21

She is very entitled and rude, you remembered her. Bake awhile vegan cakefor her, cheeky mare!

BertrandRussell · 24/04/2019 13:22

Sorry- I wasn’t aware that vegetable or other non olive oil was an unusual and exotic substance requiring special shopping trips! I stand corrected.

jcq17 · 24/04/2019 13:24

She is crazy ignore her!

KaterinaPetrova · 24/04/2019 13:25

I didn't know that "Good Manners" was an animal product. Seems that she gave them up when she gave up eating animal products.

I'm a home baker. I enjoy it. I've tried making vegan cakes before and they were difficult and never turned out what I would describe as.... tasty. I would not be comfortable giving out cakes that were a bit crap tbh.

I assume OP that you made the four cakes that you are comfortable making and have practiced baking and are confident of their taste? Makes perfect sense to me. It was very nice of you to go out of your way to buy something to suit someone's dietary choices.

Ohtherewearethen · 24/04/2019 13:30

Ok Bertrand we get it. Vegans = perfect, non-vegans = the spawn of Satan himself.
I love how you don't appear to notice the irony of your comments saying that you've never met a judgy, condescending vegan!

Biancadelrioisback · 24/04/2019 13:31

Bertram well if I don't have them in the house, how else am I meant to get them without a 'special' shopping trip?

BertrandRussell · 24/04/2019 13:33

“Ok Bertrand we get it. Vegans = perfect, non-vegans = the spawn of Satan himself.
I love how you don't appear to notice the irony of your comments saying that you've never met a judgy, condescending vegan!”

Nope. Vegans, like anyone else, often arseholes. As I have said repeatedly!

(Are you assuming I’m a vegan, by the way?)

BertrandRussell · 24/04/2019 13:35

“Bertram well if I don't have them in the house, how else am I meant to get them without a 'special' shopping trip?”

Of course. It didn’t cross my mind that the kitchen of a person who cooks wouldn’t have vegetable oil in it.

Orangecake123 · 24/04/2019 13:36

Op you did a lovely thing and have done nothing wrong.

Ohtherewearethen · 24/04/2019 13:37

No Bertrand it's just you said that non-vegans were the only rude people on this thread. I'm not making any assumptions as to your dietary choices. You, however, appear to be assuming that all the rude people on here are non-vegans. Or that all non-vegans are rude.

MummytoCSJH · 24/04/2019 13:42

I don't disagree that she was ridiculously rude but for future reference - not for her but just in case you wanted to know - I use mashed banana in place of eggs in my cakes :)