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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pregnancy announcement reaction

90 replies

Catmom2019 · 23/04/2019 15:23

My husband and I announced our pregnancy to my BIL and SIL yesterday by showing them a scan picture. SIL said they had known for ages and had been watching my moves for months and that it wasn’t at all a surprise. I was so taken aback as my husband and I hadn’t told anyone our news and didn’t come up with excuses about not drinking etc by swapping drinks at family get togethers etc. They didn’t congratulate us and that was the end of the convo. I was quite upset at her comments and his lack of interest so I text her earlier saying how upset I was at her reaction. BIL is now attacking me for making her upset! AIBU? The only thing that made me text her was because she had text me saying you need to find out the sex. Tell me off if you think I overreacted...

OP posts:

Coyoacan · 23/04/2019 19:47

What did you hope to achieve with your text, OP? It sounds like you don't like your SIL, so why bother?

We don't have to tell everyone we don't like that we don't like them. I only complain to people I care about, because our relationship is valuable to me and I want to sort out a problem, why fight unnecessarily with someone you don't like and are going to have to see for years to come?

werideatdawn · 23/04/2019 20:23

What is it that you feel givesyoua free pass to be such an unpleasant dick?

Weariness with precious people who can't see past themselves to wish well on their families.

EnglishRose13 · 22/05/2019 18:25

This is getting ridiculous now...

Buddytheelf85 · 22/05/2019 18:37

‘Announcing’ pregnancies makes me cringe - especially by showing someone a scan picture. They’re your relatives, you tell them like normal human beings, they congratulate you, job done.

You decided to ‘announce’ it to them with a picture because you wanted the maximum amount of attention and impact. And now you’re disappointed and annoyed because they didn’t give you what you wanted. Their reaction was a bit mean but was probably provoked by your obvious desire for attention.

blackcatclocks · 22/05/2019 18:44

@EnglishRose13 the level of attention seeking is pathetic isn't it! I can't believe these people don't have better things to do with their lives!

dayswithaY · 22/05/2019 19:20

Sorry to break it to you but most people don't care. My MIL just rolled her eyes when we told her I was pregnant with her first grandchild. You haven't confirmed whether your SIL has children or not. In that situation, I would assume they were trying for a baby and given her history of being competitive, that she wanted to get pregnant before you. Not your fault of course, but I would have been a bit more low key with my "announcement" in case they were struggling to conceive. You let yourself down with the text though, breezy is the only way to treat these situations. You might want to develop a thicker skin soon as you will discover your child is just one of billions in the world. It will save you a lot of time in the future to know your child is mostly only interesting to you. Congratulations though.

EnglishRose13 · 22/05/2019 19:37

@blackcatclocks

It's just so bizarre. It wouldn't be so bad if the story didn't keep changing! I can't take this as anything more than a wind up now.

Ridiculous.

aIways · 22/05/2019 23:02

Oh my god that netmums post! 👀

goose1964 · 22/05/2019 23:23

I agree that it is quite easy to tell if someone is pregnant. In DDs last pregnancy I knew before it was confirmed due to the constant trips to the loo.

It's possible that as they'd successfully guessed it the actual confirmation was more exciting at that moment than the news you were pregnant.

FIRSTTIMEMUMMA81 · 22/05/2019 23:27

I would be the same. How horrendous not to congratulate you? This is such a special time... poor form. Even worse for BIL to get on at you.

Think they have been trying to get pregnant?

EnglishRose13 · 23/05/2019 07:19

@aIways

The OP posted that in here yesterday, too. Under the same username as this thread. It got deleted.

EightAce · 23/05/2019 10:41

I'll never forget the time we told my parents that we were expecting another (our third) child. Honestly it was like telling them I'd failed all of my A-Levels. We've never really got past that TBH.

Eslteacher06 · 23/05/2019 16:52

I noticed the "reverse" post for this yesterday on here and someone called @catmom2019 out. Then looking on FB I see this again on Netmums! What's all that about?! Just leave it??

SerenDippitty · 23/05/2019 16:57

‘Announcing’ pregnancies makes me cringe - especially by showing someone a scan picture. They’re your relatives, you tell them like normal human beings, they congratulate you, job done.

This. I don’t get the need for all the theatricals.

Eslteacher06 · 23/05/2019 16:58

Sorry I've just noticed it's been shown above!

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