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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do your children play outside?

98 replies

Frockandahardplace · 23/04/2019 09:30

When I was a child, I played outside all the time. I was either at the park or at my friends house round the corner. My parents always knew roughly where I was but not exactly and I was always home by the time I was told. Now, I live rurally in a small village with my husband and DD9. Nobody seems to send their kids out to play. Whenever I invite a friend over for DD, they’re going out for the day/ on holiday/ having family time. Kids don’t seem to just be sent out to play any more and my DD is bored with no one to play with. We deliberately moved here because we thought this would be a great place to bring up kids but now we’re thinking of moving because of this. Is this the same everywhere or have we just been unfortunate?

OP posts:

SinjunRivers · 23/04/2019 09:35

It's because parents are frightened of letting them outside because of the volume of traffic, kids getting mugged for phones and bikes and worrying about paedophiles on every street corner. They are all at supervised activities or playing on their x boxes.

SinjunRivers · 23/04/2019 09:36

In answer to your question mine do play out but in a much smaller area than I was allowed as a kid in a rural area in the 80's

Elllicam · 23/04/2019 09:37

We also live in a small village but everyone except us sends their kids out to play. Our oldest is only 6 though and we aren’t comfortable letting him out alone.

HennyPennyHorror · 23/04/2019 09:43

I hated this when I lived in the UK. I wanted my DDs to play out but like you, found people just didn;t. We lived in a very quiet cul-de-sac and my DD's would be out playing and the little girl over the road would be waving from her window! Her Mum was nice...but never let her join in.

We've moved to semi rural Australia and all the kids play out here. It's much more pleasant...that doesn't help you though. :(

Youngandfree · 23/04/2019 09:43

Yes, we live rurally and they play in the garden quite a bit, not so much in colder/wet weather. But we have a park nearby so we go to that a lot too!

Justheretosee · 23/04/2019 09:45

I don’t have children but my street is full of them always playing out - even right now (we live in n.ireland so still Easter holidays until next monday) I live in a new development with loads of young families maybe that’s the reason?

implantsandaDyson · 23/04/2019 09:46

Yes, they do. My youngest is 8 and her friend has just called for her and they're away out to play. My 11 year old will be out on her bike shortly, she'll probably call for a few friends and mooch about outside.

EnglishRose1320 · 23/04/2019 09:47

My boys are allowed to play out in our cul de sac and the green near by. My youngest can only go to the green with his brother but we let him play out in the cul de sac. He has a few friends on the street that also play out. I wouldn't be happy with him being out and not knowing where he is but once he is secondary age then as long as I know the rough area and which friends he is with it's fine.

Happyspud · 23/04/2019 09:50

I live on a small bit of land and we let our 6, 4 and 3 yr old run freely. There is a climbable fence between us and the next door neighbours 5 yr old and she comes and goes from ours too. If I haven’t seen one for a bit, I shout and get confirmation everyone is fine but we’ve loads of sheds and books and crannies around so they have a great time doing their own thing. They also look after each other well and come in and out of the house non stop so it’s rare they are out of touch for more than 20mins at a time.

I wanted this kind of freedom for them. It’s important. They know well they’re not allowed near the road etc. And yes they still do stupid things but there’s a good balance between freedom and self monitoring and parental monitoring I think. I see they are all confident and independent compared to many of their peers.

Ironfloor269 · 23/04/2019 09:51

We live in a village in Surrey and my 9 year old DD plays outside. We live in a quiet cul de sac so minimum traffic. They usually play in a big group of about 10 kids. I roughly know where she is and if she goes to the green (about 1 minute walk away) or anywhere else out of sight, she tells me.

SoundofSilence · 23/04/2019 09:57

Mine play out, as do all the other children that I know. We live on an estate with limited roads and the houses face onto greens which are ideal for children playing. I chose the house for that reason way before children were on the horizon because I remembered my own childhood in a similar environment. The parking difficulties are a small price to pay for it.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 23/04/2019 09:57

Mine are 14 & 19 now and they’ve always played out as children. Now ds14 is older a lot of friends live further away but he still stays over his best friends house at least once a week. If he’s in the mood he’ll go out up here with another good friend from
School. But we live in a town where’s he’s in the 5% that goes to his school. But he has friends from rugby and football and will occasionally go out with them, but predominately stays to his school
Friends.
I can’t imagine my children not going out to play. How do children learn about looking after themselves, taking risks, etc.

Babuchak · 23/04/2019 09:58

None of my kids would be allowed to play in the street, I don't like kids "hanging outside" for the sake of it.

All the younger kids around here play outside, but in their gardens, that's what they are for and why parents bought a house! They all seem to have a fair amount of activities too, so gardens only get noisy in the afternoon which is lovely, we are lucky so far neighbours are quite respectful.

Older ones don't really play as such, they go to the park to play some sport, ride their bikes to the sport clubs, they have nothing to do in the street apart from going from one place to another.

I've never played in the street when I was little, I won't let my kids either, there are better places to be and it would be a pain for the neighbours!

cliquewhyohwhy · 23/04/2019 09:59

Yes my children play out.

HBStowe · 23/04/2019 10:00

I don’t have kids yet but in our cul de sac there are always children out playing in the evenings and at weekends. We live in a very quiet and safe area though, with lots of parks and open spaces.

MarvinMarvinson · 23/04/2019 10:01

I wish you lived near me, I have a similar aged child, desperate for a neighbourhood friend to play with but nobody plays out on our road. They do in other nearby areas, just not here. It's a shame for her because it's really all she wants to do in the school holidays, play with other kids.

Upthepong · 23/04/2019 10:04

Yes, absolutely. The road is sometimes closed off to through traffic with some traffic cones if they are playing ball games etc... No one minds because you only come this way if you live here. The cars are let through, of course, but it just gives the drivers a heads up that there are kids in the road. We don't live in the UK though, so I don't think we'd get away with that sort of thing over there. There are lots of children on this road and they are all in and out of each other's houses and gardens. I just ask my kids to let me know where they are going, so that when it is dinner time I don't have to knock on 10 front doors

Babuchak · 23/04/2019 10:05

why don't you just invite school friends or neighbours around to play in your garden? My kids are rarely alone, they are just not in the street.

Langrish · 23/04/2019 10:07

No, we’ve never been in a suitable, safe situation.
I was out practically dawn to dusk as a child, not my choice, would often rather have not been.

BarbaraofSevillle · 23/04/2019 10:10

I live on a very quiet street with a big grassed and paved area at the side with some waste ground which leads onto greenbelt and woodland. In good weather/light evenings, there are dozens of young children (say 5 upwards) playing out there.

I sometimes think 'what the fuck are they up to' but then remember that they are just 'playing out' just like everyone has done for ever and a day.

Thatsnotmyotter · 23/04/2019 10:10

We live in a tiny, rural village and I find it quite sad that although I know there are children in the village, I never see them!

Original poster

Frockandahardplace · 23/04/2019 10:17

Bit of a mixed bag of responses! We live in a very quiet corner of our village in a cul de sac, right next to a park so I’m not suggesting they should be hanging around the street. I’m finding that parents are very wary of their children being unsupervised for even a short period of time and that family days out and organised activities are what’s expected. I do invite her friends over to play but again this has to be organised and sometimes isn’t convenient for the friend. I just feel sad for her that she doesn’t have the freedom of being able to play freely with friends whenever she choses like I did as a child.

OP posts:

gotmychocolateimgood · 23/04/2019 10:21

Mine don't play outside at the front unless one of us is with them. There's a public footpath along the front which I worry about. They play on the garden loads though. Trampoline, grubbing about finding worms, paddling pool, football etc.

HJWT · 23/04/2019 10:25

I would let my DD play at a friends in there garden but wouldn't let her go to the park alone until she was in her teens, my mum lives in a great area house's are expensive schools are great quiet community, couple of weeks ago a young boy teen was stabbed in the face and put in a car dropped of 10 miles away and 2 young girls (seperate occasions) were grabbed but managed to get away.... no were is safe anymore!!!

adaline · 23/04/2019 10:27

Nope - the roads have too many cars on to make it safe. With the way parking is, the road is barely wide enough for a car - having children running about out there would just be asking for trouble. However, the people who live on the quiet cul-de-sacs do let their children out to play but there aren't too many of those anymore.

We live by the beach so most people take their kids down there - it's pretty much deserted most of the year and is very safe. There's also an enclosed play area and a cafe in summer.

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