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Original poster

Do your children play outside?

98 replies

Frockandahardplace · 23/04/2019 09:30

When I was a child, I played outside all the time. I was either at the park or at my friends house round the corner. My parents always knew roughly where I was but not exactly and I was always home by the time I was told. Now, I live rurally in a small village with my husband and DD9. Nobody seems to send their kids out to play. Whenever I invite a friend over for DD, they’re going out for the day/ on holiday/ having family time. Kids don’t seem to just be sent out to play any more and my DD is bored with no one to play with. We deliberately moved here because we thought this would be a great place to bring up kids but now we’re thinking of moving because of this. Is this the same everywhere or have we just been unfortunate?

OP posts:
KaterinaPetrova · 23/04/2019 14:17

We're in a small village and all the kids run loose from an early age.
There's a 4yo on my street who's been allowed out on the street for over a year. In some ways it's great (kids free to roam and have fun) but in other ways it's bloody awful. Some kids that have been roaming for years unsupervised are now absolute animals, harassing people, smashing up whatever isn't nailed down, ripping up what is nailed down and in recent months, pelting the supermarket delivery driver and van with stones trying to make him give them treats from the shopping he's delivering. When he didn't give in, they accused him of "being a perve" and making lewd suggestions to them. Tesco actually pulled doing deliveries at night for a while.

My own children are allowed to play unsupervised but they will lose that privilege in a heartbeat if I find they've so much as dropped litter!

Glitterblue · 23/04/2019 14:17

We live rurally so it's just the garden but my DD is out all the time. She doesn't even set foot inside the house after school until about 4.30-5. Children in the village where she goes to school play out on the grass in front of the houses.

BarnamintBaileys · 23/04/2019 14:29

I am envious of all the people who live on estates with green areas! We live on an estate and yes, most of the kids who live on the estate do still play out on the street as there are no parks in this part of town for the children to play in, and the back gardens are quite small. I do however encourage mine and their friends to play in our garden whenever possible, as some of the neighbours do complain and are openly hostile (shouting and swearing at the children). I would love to be able to move. Hmm

Littlechocola · 23/04/2019 14:33

We live rurally. DS is always out exploring.
We have discovered the same though, other children not allowed out or about to go out for the day etc. He doesn’t mind, he’s happy roaming.

PottyPotterer · 23/04/2019 14:39

Yep, from around aged 7. Also live in an area with lots of playing greens, chose it specifically so he would be able to play out. Now he's 10 he goes to the local astro pitches with his friends most days for a couple of hours as the greens aren't really suitable for football once they get to that age, it's about 10 min walk away.

FrolickingFroglets · 23/04/2019 14:39

They do. They are 7&9 and I let them last year. They are allowed in the garden (communal, block of flats, only kids) and in the part of the park I can see from the window. They don't need to walk on the road to get there.
My parents wouldn't even let me out to meet friends when I was 18, so I've no frame of reference!

Kolo · 23/04/2019 14:42

I was thinking about this yesterday. My kids do play out somewhat. We live on a relatively busy road, but on the corner of a cul de sac, so they are allowed to go round to the quiet street. Yesterday my eldest (10) wanted to go over to the market square (about 200m walk away) and call for his friend. I said no, but it got me thinking. Do kids call for each other these days? As in just go up to their door, knock and ask if they’re coming out to play? When I was primary aged, we’d be out dawn till dusk, roaming the fields, woods, streets, often going quite a few miles away. My friends would call for me and we’d be off. I even looked at google earth to find the areas we used to go to. Up until yesterday, my own child has never been called for, or asked to call for someone. It did make me very sad!

Pk37 · 23/04/2019 14:44

We do but we’re lucky to have a little park outside of our house .
She’s 8 now but has played out there since 5 with the children from the immediate neighbourhood.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 23/04/2019 14:48

Mine play out (well, one is 20 but still goes down to the park to kick a ball).

My just turned 10 yo has been allowed to go down to park alone (hopefully to find friends) since last summer and this year is allowed further afield around our village. My main concern is the traffic and that he's still learning how to deal with conflict e.g if a different friend turns up and the dynamic changes within the group.

I don't know exactly where he is at all times, but he only plays with school friends. I see it as good preparation for when he goes to secondary school and will need to know how to handle the unexpected.

He has a crappy handset so we can keep in touch. So far he's always been back when agreed and so has earned my trust.

I feel fortunate to live where we do. We have a very small garden where he can't really play so it's good he can go out.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 23/04/2019 14:53

Kolo Yes, my DS calls for his friends. Not all are allowed out alone yet, but he knows which ones are.
We get kids knocking too. I think it's great. I'm not keen on hordes of them trooping in and out all day, but that doesn't happen often.

Nogoodusername · 23/04/2019 14:55

No. My children play in the garden, we invite friends over or meet friends at the park. But they certainly don’t play out on the street - no one has a front garden, it’s a narrow pavement, busy road. Isn’t a suitable playing space whatsoever

megletthesecond · 23/04/2019 14:59

Yes. Quiet estate and parks very close.

Raspberry10 · 23/04/2019 15:03

Nope, we live in a fairly rural area. Her friends live nearby, and we bought a house with a massive garden, she’s been out to play in it maybe 10 times in 16 years. I don’t get it, I was always out from down till dusk but she’s never been an outdoor kid, despite lots of encouragement.

lyralalala · 23/04/2019 15:06

Mine play out. When we first started letting them I got absolutely slated (only me btw, not DH), but slowly but surely over the years more and more people started letting their kids out. Now most of the kids play out and a lot walk to and from school themselves if they go to the village school.

freshasthebrightbluesky · 23/04/2019 15:10

We live on a council estate in what looks like a rough area. Yes the kids play out all the time. Mine are still young so only play in the garden or with the kids from next door at the moment though.

pikapikachu · 23/04/2019 15:24

Kids round here play out at your DD's age but I suspect the radius of acceptable places to hang out is much smaller than when you were a child.

AlaskanOilBaron · 23/04/2019 15:27

No, mine are London children and they never have. My youngest will occasionally go to the park with his friends now that he's older (13) but he has to be cajoled.

I share your sadness OP, I played outside all the time when I was a kid. My mom would call me in for supper and I would argue with her about it, we were too busy catching fireflies and so on. Good times.

Thissideof40 · 23/04/2019 16:00

My 14 and 10 year old play out. My 10 year old is playing out now with his friend from across the road. We don’t live in rural village or anything but we’re on a whitish road with a big green in the middle for them to play on. I do stick my head out quite often though to see where he is. I lived on a busy main road when I was young so never played out and it does make me a bit nervous tbh. OH played out all over the town when he was young so he’s a lot more relaxed about it.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 23/04/2019 16:07

Yes mine do.
Dd 11 is allowed on the estate with friends, we're lucky it's pretty quiet, they play on the field a street away where there's trees and they have a den. They also call for each other within about a mile radius and cycle round the streets. There's a playground at the other end of the estate with basketball courts, football field and where they play too.

Ds9 is allowed round the block with friends and on the local field with the den.

I love that they have some freedom to play and explore. They both have regular times that they have to check in and are good at getting back on time coz they know if they don't their freedom will be short lived. 😁

bigbluebus · 23/04/2019 16:09

My DS played out on the streets and in the local swing park when he was at primary school (he's 22 now). The children around here do play out on the street but usually in the evening. The only chlldren I have seen in the street today were on their way to the football pitch to kick a ball around. I think most children must either be out with parents or at holiday club in the daytime as you wouldn't even know it was the school holidays in the daytime. Primary aged children around here also seem to walk to the local shop by themselves/with their friends - which is 1/4 mile away. I live in a fairly rural village but we do have pavements in the main residential areas.

Echobelly · 23/04/2019 16:12

Live in suburban London. DD (10) has been allowed in last year to meet friends/go skating/booking/jogging in park, or nearby. She'll need to take herself to school from September, over a mile away, so wanted her to get used to managing herself on good time beforehand.

RedHelenB · 23/04/2019 18:47

Mine have and do but we live in a place where we know just people and they had boundaries that increased as they got older I really think its important as you become more streetwise. Those who have barely been left to their own devices as a child find life a lot harder if they have no ove to rely on later in life.

Figgygal · 23/04/2019 18:49

Nope but that's because there's no one for him to play with
Live in a village where he doesn't know anyone doesn't go to village school, small street full of older people so no children around

snowbear66 · 23/04/2019 19:05

Just listed to a podcast about this -‘helicopter ‘parenting versus ‘free range ‘ parenting, the thinking was children’s play time has become too structured with payed clubs that teach adult skills I.e playing viola vs. Free play.
A journalist let her son go on the subway when he was 10 and started a debate.
My 2 sons had less freedom than I did away from adults, we lived near a busy road, I have tried to give my youngest more freedom but I feel worried sometimes.

Langrish · 23/04/2019 19:08

Obviouspretzel

I'm not sure why people think it is any less safe nowadays?“

Much busier roads for us, mainly: husband and I are 50s/60s children. A car on the estate was still an event.
Also, when kids fought, they got a black eye. Now it’s more likely to be a knife wound.