Hi first post! Be kind please,
So I have been with my current partner for nearly 3 years now and I feel like we really are just not right for each other. I would have left but we have a little boy together and I just feel so torn and need abit of advice. Heres the background:
So we met October 2016. He was quite intense when we first met, wanting to spend every waking moment together. I should've guessed then but having been single for a long time it was nice to have attention and I guessed that it was just a crush stage and he would calm down when he knew that we were only dating each other.
We fell in love quick and since we both were living with our parents still ( I moved back up north from living down south alone for 7 years so back to my dad's for a base before I moved back out) we decided that we should rent somewhere together to see how things go! So we moved in together in January 2017. Things were going good but I noticed we were a little different in our approach to live but nothing to flag up anything too much.
Anyway in May2017 I found out I was pregnant!! This was a huge huge shock!!!
I was told from age 14 I wouldn't ever have kids due to a health condition I have so I was extremely surprised and this is where things started to change.
We decided we needed to move to a bigger place since we were having a baby. He wanted to buy somewhere together but I really didn't want to commit to that just yet so we carried on renting somewhere else.
I didn't want to get a mortgage with someone I didn't know too long (I know I sound stupid because I decided to keep baby but as I explained before)
He was supportive In my pregnancy but become very weird about this time! Every time I was at work he would constantly turn up, call or text me all day! I work in a very male based job dealing with traders and men all day so I guessed he didn't like it but I'm not going to give up my job because he didn't like it. He would start turning up or questioning me why I was talking to the traders for so long (it's my job to get them to sign up to our deals and spend money basically) I work in sales so I have to spend time selling! I had to tell him to stop turning up at my work because my boss was becoming very annoyed and I was too. I felt very untrusted even though I've gave no reason for him to feel this way.
He started getting paranoid and wanting me to go on my maternity early be didn't want me going back after my maternity. He didn't like me going out and doing things without him. Even if it was with my dad. I would go for a coffee with my dad and be gone for 30 mins and have at least 3 messages on my phone. Asking how I am, what am I doing, where am I at.
I've tried talking to him about it and saying it's so suffocating and he stops for a day or two and creeps back in.
Anyway skip to me having my gorgeous boy and things are worse than ever. He had a bad start adapting to being a dad, little patience and not overall taking to fatherhood too well but he got past that and he is a wonderful dad to our son now.
He constantly asks me over and over again all day every day if I'm ok (it's 8.30 now and I've been asked 3 times if I'm ok)
What am I up to today, he wishes he was with me, he hates being at work, he can't wait to be home to be with me if I don't reply he then asks how our son is, (might be genuine asking but only seems to ask if I don't reply to other texts because he knows I will always tell him)
I'm exhausted by it.
When he is at home he wants to kiss and cuddle and touch all night or try to have sex every night and I just want some alone time.
He never helps with the house work, does nothing unless I ask and ask, he just wants to sit on his phone all the time, he doesn't take care of himself, he drinks everynight and I don't like it too much.
And when we go to bed I now have to sleep with PJs on because if I don't I often wake up with him trying it on with me and I just don't want it anymore. I'm exhausted after being up with my son during the night, getting up early taking son to childminders working 10 hour days, picking son up, getting home to make everyone's tea, bathing my son and getting him to bed. I just want to go to bed myself.
It causes a lot of friction that I have little to no sec drive right now. I can't help it though because I just don't feel like I want to. Should I just do it to please him? Or is it time to call it quits??