AIBU to ask how you do it...?

[MummyStruggles]

My husband has told me this morning that my snoring, during the night, is getting worse. I know it's my weight. I've gained a lot of weight recently and I'm so embarrassed

There is a gym, which is 60 seconds from my house, it's cheap AND it's open 24 hours a day. I really do have no excuse.

Food makes me happy. I do enjoy healthy food but I find it so difficult to keep interested in new healthy recipes.

My husband leaves home early every day (before the children are even awake) which means I deal with getting them up, dressed, fed and off to school. All before I do a day's work also. I wake at 6.30am and I know I could go to the gym before this, say 5.30am, but does anyone actually do this? The thought of doing a work out BEFORE getting myself and 2 kids ready to leave the house, is just bloody soul destroying.

I know these are all excuses and I know what needs to be done but my question is, how do YOU do it, if you do? How do you motivate yourself every day to get in better shape, a shape that means I'm not rattling my darling husband as eardrums every night ??

Do you work full time? What time does work finish?

Try using my fitness pal to log your food and exercise so that you can see where you are going wrong.

You will probably need to cut calories as well as just adding exercise.

I find Michael Moseley's books and documentaries useful, his plans make sense and are approved by doctors. Cutting sugar and carbs really works without leaving you hungry.

Well you've got the lighter mornings now which makes it easier! Get everything out the night before. If you do something like couch to 5k the sessions are only something like 20 mins to start with.

Sorry, I've drop fed here.

I work full time 9-5 and husband gets home at 7pm every night. Once I'm home I then do the dinner for the family and I really enjoy cooking so I don't mind that.

As is with the work out before work, how do people motivate themselves after a full day of it too? I'm know there are a lot of people in the same boat who manage it and find it easy enough to do but I just don't know how.

I'll admit that the last thing I want to do, after a full days work and cooking dinner, is smack on my Lycra and head back out of the house!

No no no. Getting up at 5.30 before your looooong day with the kids?? You’d have to be utterly addicted to exercise and a bit mad. So no. People really wouldn’t do that, it’s completely unrealistic.

What you need to do is find a healthier way to eat the correct amount of food. Then I suggest something like C25K in the summer evenings. Or long walks with the kids. Not sure what your set up is with kids needs and ages but if you have money you could pay a babysitter twice a week for a regular slot. If that’s not affordable you need to carve out time and your DH needs to help do that for you. Start with some long walks to just enjoy the evenings and quiet alone time (not beating yourself around trying to ‘exercise’).

But your food intake is the important one.

To be frank, the gym won't help that much.

Concentrate on changing what you're eating. Reducing calories is the easiest way

First see if there are easy swaps you can make. Eg swap blue milk to red milk.
Use spray oils. Get low fat crisps.
Have 1 fewer sausages/fish fingers/piece of bacon etc than you normally do.

The thing is, what we enjoy is not the early wake, not the effort, not the pain. What we enjoy is the feeling afterwards. Energised, happy, light.
Exercise is what lifts your mood. If you’re in a good mood, you don’t need food to make you feel good.
You don’t really loose weight just by exercising. You loose weight by eating less. There has to be a shift in how you perceive food, a transition between food as a comfort and food as fuel.
An art I’m yet to master 😂

I run as part of my commute home. It's the only way I can fit something in. I'd love to do more but just dont have the time in between work (night shifts) and all school runs and after school activities

Agree food intake more important than exercise overall in losing weight (although exercise will make you feel better and therefore probably help you make healthier food choices).

That said, things I find help with exercise, when I do want to do more:

• couch to 5k app (starts easy, don't need to do at a certain time unlike a class etc)
• put gym clothes by the bed the night before (or even wear them in bed if you're super keen)
• start small - so aim to do it once a week and then build from there ie not every day, you'll just give up if you try that
• I find morning easier than night time (by the end of the day I'm just too knackered)

I prep the night before, so everything is ready and I do a class at 6am (well, did... pregnancy has sapped that energy!). I find doing a class is better for me as I'll push myself a lot more in that setting than going alone early morning.

Evenings, again I general book into a class or pt session as they're included in my membership and i know I'll work harder. But if I just go and do my own thing I have a decent play list or watch a show on Netflix and do 30 minutes cross trainer or bike then 30 minutes weights (a routine from pt sessions).

If you can, do a couple of personal training sessions and get some tips.

I'm fairly over weight and always hated exercise, now I actually enjoy it and find I have more energy on the days I've done the 6am classes 😀

I am a sahm to four, three of whom come home for lunch (don't live in UK) and DH is gone 7-19:30, so now, as soon as he comes home, I go for a 45 swim four times a week and again at the weekend. We have also just bought a second hand x-trainer so at least I can do that while the kids are home. I am hoping once I am a bit fitter, to have the confidence to do couch to 5k but I am not ready to start yet.

Losing weight is mostly eating - I lost 3 stone with zero exercise.

With the hectic lifestyle you have and your husband’s long hours I’d probably look at intermittent fasting and also low-carb as it’s easy to make low-carb dinners for yourself and add rice/pasta/potatoes for your family so it doesn’t feel too restrictive.

My neighbours take it in turns to go to the gym before the children get up. Usually hear their car go away as I start stirring.

But really it's the food that you need to start with. Reduce your calorie intake. I prep a lot of fruit and veg for nibbling on at the start of the week. I meal plan too as working 5 days and a chronic health condition it really helps.

My sister has joined up with other people at work to lose weight. Gym - somewhere she loathed but now quite likes - at lunchtime and low carbing 1.5 stones since Christmas. Much easier with support, read the low carb thread s on here.

As is with the work out before work, how do people motivate themselves after a full day of it too?

I struggle with this too but as @8FencingWire has said, the motivation is the “feeling afterwards. No one ever feels bad after exercise.

I tend not to sit down after work / dinner / kids. If I sit down, that’s it, I’m done.

My other tip is that when I come in from work, I always get changed.

And what has helped me to be more motivated recently, has been to get changed into gym gear! If I’m sitting in my gym gear at 8.30 watching Netflix, I’m a lazy arse and need to do a work out.

Again, as others have said, food will be the biggest thing to change. What is your typical food in take each day?

With me it's FOOD that makes a difference. I can slug away in the gym for hours and it makes no difference to weight loss unless I monitor what I eat. Start tracking what you eat and make changes and you will see the difference

Hi OP, I used to do this . I would get up at 5am and go to the gym, get back about 6.30 and have my coffee in the quiet house before everyone woke up . It's really do-able, it's just finding your motivation. I will say , it's a good idea to start now as the mornings are light and it's not too cold. Getting into this routine now before winter comes back would be beneficial. Also can I recommend Tom Kerridge cookbook . Has some lovely low fat recipes that the whole family love and not too complicated. Good luck, the first steps are the hardest.

Can you add more exercise into your normal routine? I really struggled to lose baby weight - still a size bigger than I was but time pressures made the gym a nightmare. If you drive can you walk if it’s under half hour? Get off the bus a few stops early? I also do sit ups at home and stomach crunches through the day so it doesn’t feel like my time is being taken up by working out

Working full time-no way would I get up even earlier.
Echoing what others have said-weight loss is 80% diet. Exercise has lots of benefits and once you’ve lost some weight you might fancy it more.
When I can’t get to the gym I do circuits in my living room when DD is in bed. Things like push ups, planks etc. I have a kettle bell and a medicine ball. You could do stuff like that in the garden. But focus on diet first and see if you can move more at work, go for walks. For general health rather than weight loss.

Although I would always advocate exercise, not just diet, don't break your back trying to do everything. Since your DH leaves early does he get back early so you can go after work? Or could you go for walk in the evening with kids?

I'm going to go against what most people have said. I find that exercise motivates me to eat better, I can't seem to keep my healthy eating hat on without it!

Find some exercise that you actually like, this will make motivation SO much easier. I love to run, it doesn't take any will power for me to go for a run (the way I would have to drag myself to the gym!) Try out different things, team sports, dancing, weight lifting, swimming...I find that I don't want to compromise my running training by eating crap or eating too much because I love being able to run long distances!

Sorry just read your update. Could you have a more balanced diet (something you could realistically live with as opposed to a fad diet) and exercise at home?

I must admit I do a 6am class before work at 730 as I'm just too knackered to do it after work. I do a hiit class which works and works fast!! You get used to the early starts as I did struggle at first because I love my sleep but I can get up relatively easily now

I have friends who work out early. One uses a cycle machine, cycling is his big hobby too.

I can't diet properly without exercise. If you can get to the gym early, try to. It should start making you feel like you want to actually eat better.

Assuming you have young children, unless you have a long enough lunch break to exercise then, I actually think it's pretty much impossible to exercise properly with this sort of schedule as you are just too tired. I live a mile from work so I've always walked to work, but I didn't start being able to go to the gym during the week until the DC were teenagers and could be left.
I'd suggest trying to fit in at least a short walk though as it's likely to lift your mood.