So last week my SIL sacked me as. bridesmaid and I genuinely don't know whether IABU or her.
Just for context, I am a student and she is several years older than me and has lived with her fiancé for about six years. We were all delighted when he proposed last autumn because it's something she's wanted, and has made clear she's wanted, for a long time.
Anyway, there was an initial problem because she'd asked some family members to be bridesmaids (before the proposal) and changed her mind, leaving them pretty cross. As a consolation she told them that they could go wedding dress shopping with her, but on the week of the day said they couldn't come because there wasn't enough room in the taxi.
So - already some bad feeling in the family, but I was pleased to be asked and looking forward to it.
Even though the wedding was two years away I was asked to pay £60 for hair, £70 for make-up and £40 for specific coloured shoes. I said I would pay for hair and shoes but that I would do my make up myself. I'm good at it, and could definitely have done the make up she wanted, but she was cross about it (i should say that she's buying the dresses, which are £20 each).
Then a chat was set up to discuss the hen do. I won't have a car or an income, so said I would travel up to 90 mins (my mum would take me) and pay up to £150. Was this mean do you think? It felt in keeping with what everyone else was saying, and we found lovely properties that fit the bill. In the end, the bride chose something much further away. Those of us without transport were worried, so told her we would struggle to attend. She said she would do a meal for those of us who couldn't go, which was fine.
The last straw was finding out that she had been very critical and unkind about the fact that me and my bf got engaged. She had phoned and FaceTimed people to say that we had taken the shine off her wedding, had stolen her thunder, that it was her time to shine etc.
I contacted her to say that I'd heard about this and that we should clear the air, but instead I was sacked. I'm not worried about that really - in many ways it's a relief tbh - but if IABU then I need to apologise, because I always do if I'm wrong.
Again, for context, I didn't know that my bf was going to propose, it was a surprise. We've been together three years, so it felt right. We haven't set a date yet, so I don't think we've stolen her thunder and our wedding will definitely be after hers. I suppose that I have been talking about wedding stuff, because I'm excited, but imagined that we'd be able to talk about things together. She lives an hour away while we live in the same town as both of our families, so people have been taking an interest and asking lots of questions.
So in her last message she said that I had taken the attention away from her, that I had obstructed everything she'd planned, that I hadn't offered to help (I genuinely didn't know that she would need any help yet, absolutely expected to be helping with invitations and favours and things nearer the time).
So, I'm a lot younger than the other bridesmaids and feel that, if I've genuinely behaved badly or done something wrong, I need to make it right. So, AIBU?