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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To remove DD'S leg hair permanently....

128 replies

newmum0808 · 21/04/2019 21:28

So, my DD is ten and starting puberty (boobs, hair and hormones). She's asked to remove her leg hair which is already noticeable as she's pale with dark hair. My Mum refused to let me shave mine when I was her age. Instead she let me dye it - thick blond leg hair glinting in the sun still haunts me.....
Now I spent years dealing with my thick black body hair (shudders), until I invested in an IPL machine. I haven't had to shave my armpits for years.... (ditto, leg, bikini etc). Anyway, I don't really want DD to start shaving as it's a bind (when I think of how many hours I wasted hacking my leg jungle...). Waxing is a pain (literally and time-wise to getting her booked in to a salon (I work full time)), so I'm considering using my IPL machine on her. Now, I'm aware it might not be permanent (hormones etc), but on the other hand it might be. But is there any chance she'd want leg hair in the future? Am I overthinking this? What do you do?
Thanks!

OP posts:

Original poster

newmum0808 · 21/04/2019 21:56

Wolfie - you're right. I loathe my body hair and part of my reasons for posting was to check I'm not imposing my body hair issues on her. She's never seen me manage my hair (or talk about it) and she had brought it up independently, but I'm worried I'm leaping to a solution because of my feelings.

OP posts:

34sunshine · 21/04/2019 21:58

We’ve had a similar dilemma with our dd. I didn’t want her to have the constant drama of shaving everyday, sore legs, cuts/shaving rash. especially as her hair was already so dark so I brought her an epilator. I helped her the 1st few times and now she can do it. She is only 11 but she was very conscious of her dark hair and I feel that she will be greatful as she gets older that she doesn’t have to shave all the time. I don’t have any experience of an ipl machine but if it’s safe then I think it’s an incredible gift to give your dd, I can’t imagine she would ever be upset not to have hair?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 21/04/2019 21:59

I think epilation is hellishly painful, far worse than waxing.

ScrimshawTheSecond · 21/04/2019 22:02

Agree with previous posters that I wouldn't do anything that might be permanent at that age. Shaving legs should be fine - I used to quite enjoy it in the days when I bothered removing body hair.

(and by the way, I don't look 'like a monkey', I look like a female with a bit of completely natural body hair. No big deal.)

Haffiana · 21/04/2019 22:02

Home IPLs are not permanent and are not intended to be. They cause the hair follicle to go into a resting phase and after the initial 4 treatments at 2 week intervals you only need to do the treatment every 3 to 4 months.

IPLs use very bright light and are not actually lasers. Laser treatment can be permanent I think, but you need to do it in a salon. There are no home laser treatments, quite rightly. They would be bloody dangerous.

That said, I have found my leg hairs are very very sparse and I haven't used my Lumea since last Autumn so IPL can certainly affect hair growth for many, many months.

HOWEVER I would be wary about the bikini area with a child, not because I think it is harmful but because I think fashion will change and in a few years the bush will be back...!

HelloMonday · 21/04/2019 22:03

Gosh, i didnt know ipl was so effective!
I just dont shave anymore because (I'm lazy) it's a faff and time/effort i dont have anymore (thick, fast growing and lots of it compared to my friend who seemed to have sparse follices/hair) Was looking at ipl, but your post has sold it to me lol!

ScrimshawTheSecond · 21/04/2019 22:03

Also, OP, I don't think you're overthinking it, you sound like you're considerate, caring and thoughtful. Lucky daughter.

diddl · 21/04/2019 22:06

Why do you think that shaving would be such a bind?

I've only ever used an electric shaver & never found it especially arduous!

MitziK · 21/04/2019 22:06

Having been blessed by the Hairy Gorilla Genes and suffered teasing from the age of 10 about it, never mind the lovely PCOS face I have now, I'd say IPL it for her.

Original poster

newmum0808 · 21/04/2019 22:06

Okay. These are all really helpful, thank you. I have an epiliator, but found it horribly painful - far worse than shaving. It might be worth trying in her though as her hair had never been shaved (so might be less painful 🤷🏻‍♀️). I also hadn't considered hair removal cream - I'll add that to the mix.
I should add that I'm not anti hair on anyone else....I just have always hated my pube -like leg hair. I've left my arms hairy and I'm okay with that. I'm nervous about taking her choice away.....

OP posts:

34sunshine · 21/04/2019 22:08

I know some people feel that shaving is a simple choice and better as it’s not a long term solution but I actually feel that shaving has far more long term implication. Once you start the hair just gets thicker and grows faster. You are definitely taking a very responsible approach to this and looking at ways to make your daughters life easier as she becomes a women. We looked at waxing as an option but salons don’t have insurance to wax minors.

needsahouseboy · 21/04/2019 22:12

God yes, just do it. My hair is black and I hated it. I eventually paid for laser a few years ago and wish I'd done it much sooner.

formerbabe · 21/04/2019 22:12

I wouldn't get her an epilator. I actually love mine but bloody hell it hurts! I only get through the pain because I've given birth twice and I console myself that its not as bad as that.

I'd buy her an electric shaver...much less likely to get nicks and cuts.

64sNewName · 21/04/2019 22:13

I wouldn’t do anything permanent.

I do shave my legs, but I went through a period of deliberately not doing it for approx 18 months when I was 19 or so. It was me thinking through the personal/political aspects of hair removal and it was important to me at the time. You never know, your daughter might actively want to let it grow at some stage for any reason at all. Or for no reason! But just knowing what our bodies look like in their natural undepilated state is healthy, I think.

collectingcpd · 21/04/2019 22:15

I’m from the hairy gorilla club too. Paid thousands to get my hair removed, and will be happily paying the same for dc. 10 is young. If she wants it, go for it. I’ve never met a women who likes her black, thick, triple follicled plait-able body hair, so I can’t imagine she’ll be suing you in her 20s.

Tunnockswafer · 21/04/2019 22:15

Leg jungle.
Looking like a furry monkey.
Ffs

collectingcpd · 21/04/2019 22:16

But I’d pay for professional lasering.

JemSynergy · 21/04/2019 22:17

My daughter is 9, this year she became very aware of the dark hair on her legs and took it upon herself to shave them! It resulted in a cut to her legs. I sat down and had a chat with her about it all and then bought an electric lady shaver and shaved her legs properly for her. My epilator would have been too painful for her. I don't see the point in delaying it, she is conscious of the hair and it makes her unhappy. However, I wouldn't at this stage make any permanent changes.

GorkyMcPorky · 21/04/2019 22:19

I know so many women who have bought these and the pain was so unbearable it sits in the drawer.

I think you might be confusing an IPL with an epilator. My IPL definitely isn't painful. Can't feel it at all.

Fazackerley · 21/04/2019 22:19

I 0thoight it was a myth that shaving made hair grow thicker?
I buy the expensive Spa breeze blades with the lubricating strip and they are brilliant. They are the only ones I buy for the dds so they don't cut themselves. They are all super lucky as they have light leg hair and barely need to shave whereas I am very dark and hairy. The lumea is amazing. I still don't have any armpit hair after 3 weeks and I've only done them twice

greenpop21 · 21/04/2019 22:24

Dressless I hope all mothers of sons are as mindful as you. I have 2 teen DDs and worry about boys expecting smooth, hair free bodies and perfection on other ways. You give me hope!

Fatted · 21/04/2019 22:26

You mention in your OP that your own mum forced her wishes onto you that you were unhappy with in your own childhood. Personally I do think you're in danger of doing the same thing to her.

Give her the choice of what she wants to do. She's young and will want to experiment with what works best for her. Perhaps buy an electric razor and also some hair removal cream. Use both together and let her learn how to use them. Give her a few years and if she then wants to permanently remove the hair, let her.

greenpop21 · 21/04/2019 22:27

The upside of being late 40s is that my body hair doesn't grow as much. I rarely need to shave my legs or armpits and bikini line takes less work. I am however finding a few sprouting from my chin every month instead!

Gwenhwyfar · 21/04/2019 22:28

"Why wouldn’t you consider Veet/Nair? "

Never worked on me. Lots of faff, but plenty of hair still left over.

MollysMummy2010 · 21/04/2019 22:28

My daughter has had a ladyshave since she was eight. I was on here asking if I was doing the right thing. She was being teased. I have no regrets at all. She mainly uses it in summer.

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