Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baptised to get in to a school?

143 replies

mummy21boy · 21/04/2019 20:10

So there is a very good catholic school in our catchment area but to be in with a good chance of getting in you’d need to be a baptised catholic. Dh was brought up catholic but isn’t religious so we haven’t had ds baptised but dh thinks we should now to get him into this school.. aibu to think this is morally wrong?

OP posts:
Original poster
mummy21boy · 22/04/2019 12:21

Same plainspeaking I may not be catholic but I have morals and respect everyone’s choices to live how they wish. I want to bring my son up to mix with all different races, colours, beliefs etc but the alternative school is on an estate where drugs and knife crime are rife and the reviews, ofsted report and stories I’ve heard about the lack of care in that school horrified me. All I want is to give my son the best possible start. Smile

OP posts:
CurtainsOpen · 22/04/2019 12:28

Hello brand new poster asking about religion!

JassyRadlett · 22/04/2019 12:36

They are partly funded by the church. So it is wrong to use them if you're not intending to follow the faith.

They aren’t being very honest on their website - it’s rare these days that any faith school has the church providing 10% of the maintenance costs. They get a pretty good deal - none of the running costs, none of the capital cost of new buildings, and most of their existing buildings are maintained by taxpayers.

But you know what, I’m fair minded. I’d be reasonably happy if the church got to have a number of places at the school reserved for the children of their faith proportionate to the amount they put in. Wonder how many kids a year that would work out as?

Anyone who thinks that getting a child baptised/attending church to get them into a local state-funded school is a greater moral evil than state-sponsored discrimination against four year olds has a pretty fucked up moral compass.

Littlecaf · 22/04/2019 12:48

converseandjeans

I didn’t say it was Catholic, I said Christian. The particular school I was describing was Christian, rather than a specific denomination. And it was mostly naice middle class families who sent their kids there as they didn’t want them to go to the crap comprehensive!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 22/04/2019 12:58

And it was mostly naice middle class families who sent their kids there as they didn’t want them to go to the crap comprehensive!

Lets be blunt about this. naice people mix with naice people. They obey the school rules, they join the PTA, they fund raise, they turn up to parents evening. Like always gravitates to like.

The opposite sort of people drag a school down, those who have latch key kids, those who are up the school every 5 mins complaining, those who never join extra curricular activities.

And if you are straddling a catchment for both types of school, you will either (a) not care where Johnny goes, he can go with his mates to Bog Standard Comp or (b) you'll be going the extra mile, looking all ways you can manipulate the system so Johnny doesn't have to mix with that lot.

If find it unfathomable that some posters think you should put up with some shit hole you wouldn't kennel your dog in, just because it's two streets away.

Littlecaf · 22/04/2019 13:03

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking

Yes you’re largely right. So yeah, it was my parents who did all those things for the shit comprehensive, and now it’s an outstanding one. Naice middle class parents want to send their kids there now, they didn’t 20 years ago!

DarkAtEndOfTunnel · 22/04/2019 15:38

Back up thread, RubberTree, yes there was an expansion in church involvement in schools, started under Blair. That then led to the expansion in other faith schools in the name of equality.

Actual education had nothing to do with it. It was probably another Blair way of getting someone else to pay for things. I wouldn't mind that given how rich the church has always been, but it comes with strings attached.

EverybodySayHumph · 22/04/2019 15:40

I baptised my first 2 to get into an outstanding primary.

Their unbaptised siblings followed.

They have to put up with the Jesus bollocks but it's worth it for the higher standard of education. It means they are smart enough to form a choice about it.

They don't believe.

youknowmedontyou · 22/04/2019 16:12

They have to put up with the Jesus bollocks but it's worth it for the higher standard of education. It means they are smart enough to form a choice about it.

People like you are the reason catholic schools need to be stricter in admissions. Shameful!

EverybodySayHumph · 22/04/2019 16:14

3 generations of my family have attended that school.

Just because my education has allowed me to realise its nothing more than fairytale doesn't mean my children shouldn't be able to attend.

There are also practicing Muslims there so... shrugs

youknowmedontyou · 22/04/2019 16:20

@EverybodySayHumph does t matter how many attended, you're actively disrespecting the school and your children should not attend! You have no morals whatsoever to agree to something you don't believe in to obtain a better education.

Totally shameful!

LaurieMarlow · 22/04/2019 16:21

People like you are the reason catholic schools need to be stricter in admissions.

But why should the religious get a massive advantage handed to them on the education front. It’s totally unjustified. People won’t respect an unjust system.

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 22/04/2019 16:30

My son went to a catholic primary school....not catholic but they had a space when we needed one and no other school did...a mid term admission.

Yes there was Mass once a term and prayers said at lunchtime but beyond that it was like any other primary school. It also had a large number of children for whom English was a second language.

DS was treated well there and supported brilliantly . He’s autistic so this was important, they also did nit have any expectation that he would sit through a Mass without fidgeting ..and neither did the priest. I found them excellent and welcoming and brilliant.

DeeCeeCherry · 22/04/2019 16:31

You'll need to attend church regularly too + a letter from the priest. Schools/church aren't stupid they know what goes on. DDs went to faith schools and had a brilliant education. They'd been baptised, done Holy Communion and gone to Catholic Primary School too. Not sure what stage you're at but if you're not in a highly populated area maybe you'll be ok.

I know people moan about faith schools but they've the choice not to aim to send their DCs to one if they're not religious, choose a non- religious/state school instead, nobody's stopping them.

You need to be sure you want your DCs to have a religious education also as in reality, you may not like it.

FamilyOfAliens · 22/04/2019 16:33

I don't understand why people have an issue with faith schools.

For me, it’s the fact that in two of our local RC schools, their admissions criteria list RC Looked After Children first, with non-RC Looked After Children children at priority number 17, behind every other category of RC child, including those who live miles away and have been baptised in another parish.

In other words, Looked After Children who are not RC are less worthy of a place at that school than any RC child, despite the poor outcomes for LAC being well known by everyone in education.

I honestly don’t know how they get away with it.

youknowmedontyou · 22/04/2019 16:33

But why should the religious get a massive advantage handed to them on the education front. It’s totally unjustified. People won’t respect an unjust system.

Because the Catholic Church part fund it, through collections from people eh attend church.

Why should people send atheist kids to a church school, disrespect it teachings and just take from it?

Send you're non faith kids to non faith schools.

LaurieMarlow · 22/04/2019 16:38

You have no morals whatsoever to agree to something you don't believe in to obtain a better education

It is so very easy for the people whom the system favours to sit around judging the ‘morals’ of others just trying to avoid getting fucked over.

Seriously, check your privilege and reign it the fuck in.

LaurieMarlow · 22/04/2019 16:40

Because the Catholic Church part fund it

Yeah to the tune of less than 10% as we’ve seen upthread. Until their say over admissions is in line with that then gaming the system is fair game.

youknowmedontyou · 22/04/2019 16:42

@LaurieMarlow are you honestly saying it's right to send your child to a school and totally disrespect its teachings?

OddBoots · 22/04/2019 16:43

If I was in charge then faith schools would be able to select double the percentage of children of the funding they provide. So if for example they provided 10% of the total school budget then they could select 20% of the students. I'm not in charge though.

LaurieMarlow · 22/04/2019 16:45

are you honestly saying it's right to send your child to a school and totally disrespect its teachings?

Yes. Given the hugely unfair system we operate within.

Privately of course. I wouldn’t encourage them to be too vocal about it in school.

For what it’s worth I am the product of a catholic education, sent there by immensely devout parents. I found my way to disrespecting their teachings all by myself.

happypotamus · 22/04/2019 16:45

I would just like to confirm that my DC go to Catholic school (I am Catholic and didn't get them baptised just so they could go). To qualify for the priority for admission for being Catholic you just have to have got the child baptised. There is no age limit for it and there is no requirement to have ever set foot in a church again as long as you can produce a baptism certificate. This is for a good school that was recently rated one of the top 10 primary schools in the city. However, it is not oversubscribed by Catholics, probably only just over 50% of the children are Catholic based on the number in DD's year doing First Holy Communion and a much smaller percentage are Catholics who regularly attend mass.

youknowmedontyou · 22/04/2019 16:52

@OddBoots luckily your not!

youknowmedontyou · 22/04/2019 17:00

*you're

JassyRadlett · 22/04/2019 17:02

Why should people send atheist kids to a church school, disrespect it teachings and just take from it?

Because they fund all its running costs, all its building costs and almost all (and in many cases all) its maintenance costs just as much as the churchgoers?

Send you're non faith kids to non faith schools.

First, if you think there’s choice for many people you’re a naive fool, and second: great, can the atheist kids have preferential treatment at those schools? Any kid whose parent has attended a church service in the last two years or was baptised goes to the back of the queue?

The current system actively discriminates against four year olds based on religion (and class, based on stats not anecdote - churchgoers are disproportionately better-off than their surrounding communities), and segregates Christian children from non-Christian children.

Not a good look, really.