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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baptised to get in to a school?

143 replies

mummy21boy · 21/04/2019 20:10

So there is a very good catholic school in our catchment area but to be in with a good chance of getting in you’d need to be a baptised catholic. Dh was brought up catholic but isn’t religious so we haven’t had ds baptised but dh thinks we should now to get him into this school.. aibu to think this is morally wrong?

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 21/04/2019 21:16

I would not do it. Look at the promises you are expected to make at baptism. Unless you can honestly say those, I don't think you should.

stucknoue · 21/04/2019 21:20

We won't write references unless the family genuinely attends - as usual we are getting a lot of baptism requests (local school had its open day 2 weeks ago) and whilst we will baptise, unless the kids are in Sunday club 3/4 weeks a month and the parents attend (rather than sneaking off the premises which did happen) no reference beyond baptism date

agnurse · 21/04/2019 21:43

Baptism places an indelible mark on the soul and places the child permanently under the obligation to follow canon law.

In order for a child to be baptized there must be a founded hope that he or she will be raised Catholic.

Are you prepared to lie to the pastor? Because that's what you'll be doing if you're only having DS baptized to get him into school and have no plan to attend church regularly or raise him Catholic.

Abbazed · 21/04/2019 21:44

FramptonRose. My son went to Catholic primary. He just needed Baptismal certificate. No regular Mass attendance. I'm in Lakes.

Abbazed · 21/04/2019 21:45

Catholic priests aren't Pastors.

Abbazed · 21/04/2019 21:46

Just to add we attend weekly anyway.

Abbazed · 21/04/2019 21:47

Acts Chapter 2 v38

Dressless · 21/04/2019 21:49

What is wrong is that schools are permitted to religiously discriminate. If you have no other means of getting him into a decent school then doing this would be merely amoral.

Original poster
mummy21boy · 21/04/2019 21:50

I have already said I would support him being brought up catholic if he was to be baptised agnurse

OP posts:
agnurse · 21/04/2019 21:56

Catholic priests can indeed be pastors. Every parish has a priest who is the head pastor of that parish. The pastor of the parish in which the parents live is the one who determines whether a child is eligible to be baptized.

RubberTreePlant · 21/04/2019 21:56

School admissions criteria for RC schools do often specify baptism before first birthday, at least in London. Have you read the small print?

Littlecaf · 21/04/2019 22:06

This has been going on for years, generations. It’s not unusual and yes I do think it’s not right. As a child of a non religious parent I didn’t then (1980s/1990s) and now still don’t understand why I was discriminated against when applying for school places because I wasn’t Christian. It’s blatant discrimination. Why should I only be allowed to go to a poor performing school because the Christian school was then the only high performing school in the area with much better facilities and exam results. It’s disgraceful.

converseandjeans · 21/04/2019 22:09

They are partly funded by the church. So it is wrong to use them if you're not intending to follow the faith.
I imagine the reason they are successful is that children are expected from a young age to sit through mass without fidgeting. So there is an element of routine, discipline, high expectations.

Baptised to get in to a school?
Original poster
mummy21boy · 21/04/2019 22:09

I agree littlecaf especially when the other school in our catchment has been requiring improvement since 2017 and hasn’t improved in their follow up inspection which took place this January..

OP posts:
Original poster
mummy21boy · 21/04/2019 22:14

I’ve reread the small print and it only says that you need a baptism certificate and to be living in the parish..

OP posts:
RubberTreePlant · 21/04/2019 22:16

It's up to you and your conscience then.

I can't see this system lasting too much longer, TBH. You may as well crack on if you're happy to do it.

JustAnotherMillennial · 21/04/2019 22:28

Yes to may only need certificate.

I got into the local Christian school without even being christened...

I agree with every word of your post @littlecaf

Dana28 · 21/04/2019 22:31

You do what you gotta do!

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 21/04/2019 22:32

Agree with MissMummy88

Its wrong that families are put in the situation of having to make this decision to ensure their child gets a decent education

Littlecaf · 21/04/2019 22:50

When I have tried to explain why I felt discriminated against to friends who went to the other school, they have laughed and said “your parents could have done what mine did, started suddenly attending church when we were 9 or so then stopping aged 12”. Yes because that make me feel so much better.

For what it’s worth, my old school is now an oversubscribed outstanding comprehensive with higher than average exam results and has had no leg up from having naice middle class families all sending their children there en mass.

DarkAtEndOfTunnel · 21/04/2019 22:53

The resurgence of religion in schools makes me very uneasy. I think Christianity would be largely dead by now if not for religious schools. All too often people have no choice but to use them. They do brainwash, and ensure that any spiritual or moral leanings at all are identified as Christian. Mandating church attendance on any part of the population through schools is thoroughly medieval. Why has it come back? Who's gaining?

RubberTreePlant · 21/04/2019 23:32

@DarkAtEndOfTunnel are you talking about long-established schools with a mixed intake or small exclusive, (sometimes illegal) schools of the type OFSTED has expressed concerns about?

I'm not sure there's been a "resurgence" in Roman Catholic education, has there?

converseandjeans · 21/04/2019 23:36

littlecaf

has had no leg up from having naice middle class families all sending their children there en mass.

This is definitely not the case for my children's school. There is a big percentage of EAL & students arriving mid year with barely any English. No money for TAs. I find it bizarre that you think all Catholics are middle class.

MitziK · 21/04/2019 23:45

You can try - but the most popular/oversubscribed schools will have a requirement that baptism must be within the first six months, plus weekly attendance, plus support from the priest.

You've got more chance of getting a place than not doing it, however.

dirtystinkyrats · 21/04/2019 23:48

I briefly attended confirmation classes when I was 9 or so with a plan to get me baptised and confirmed (C of E) to then get priority to go to a Catholic school for secondary. After attending a few classes I refused to carry on and my Mum didn't force it. I wouldn't lie to the church nor would I force my kids to do so. If you are planning years in advance to get your kids into a good school then why not do what everyone else does - move into a better school catchment.